May 9, 2004
Oh, how could I forget. I have one last Mother’s Day gripe. Yesterday, I checked the mail and found a piece of mail from my mother. She sent me a Mother’s Day card from my cats. It’s something she’s done before. In years past it was kind of cute. This year, give me a break. We told them about the whole infertility thing right before my hubby’s first surgery, so it’s not like she doesn’t know. It’s like saying “I know you want to be a mom more than anything, but can’t. At least you can be a mom to your cats.” Hello, it’s not the same thing.
I have the best husband. He’s knows that I’m feeling down today (I’m sure the extreme grumpiness clued him in,) so he just left to go pick me up some yummy lunch. Thanks honey.
It’s here- Mother’s Day. It’s a really hard day to face if you’re dealing with infertility. This is the first Mother’s Day that I’ve known that we’re infertile. Two years ago, we had been trying to get pregnant for less than 6 months, so it didn’t bother me. Last year, we had been trying for almost a year and a half, but I still had hope it would work (looking back that could have been denial disguising itself as hope.) This year, I know there’s a 0% percent chance of us getting pregnant on our own right now. I also know that I won’t be a mom by next mother’s day either.
Mother’s Day is impossible to escape. Everywhere you go, there’s all kinds of gifts, cards, etc. all letting you know exactly what day is coming. Yesterday, my husband and I were shopping at the Galleria in hopes of finding me a bday present. I was trying on some rings at a jewelry store, and the employee that was helping us asked “Oh, are you shopping for a Mother’s Day present?” The word “no” shot out of my mouth so fast that it was unbelievable. Today I’m just going to lock myself up in my apartment and wait for the day to pass. (At least I have the Survivor season finale to look forward to.)