What Would We Do Without Family? July 21, 2004
I know my mom and mother-in-law mean well, but sometimes they say or do things that drive me crazy. Yesterday my mother-in-law emailed me a link to a Boston University online distance learning course entitled Issues in Assisted Reproduction. Is she kidding? Does she really think I’m going to spend $1300 to take an online course in ART? First of all, all I have done for the past 8 months is research this topic. When my husband was diagnosed with azoospermia, I delved into as much info I could find. First I learned about his diagnosis and what could be done before reaching the ART stage, but I also prepared myself for the fact that we would likely end up doing IVF. Like other infertile women out there, I have utilized the internet to the extremes to learn as much as possible. Secondly, does she think I have an extra $1300 laying around? We just spent $2900 on our cat (who, by the way, is doing better) and will be forking out $13-14K for IVF in just a short time. I don’t know why she sends me these emails. She’s also sent me links to a book list for children, a site for mother’s day presents, and some article about a shared risk program in California. What would convince her that these are good links to send to a person dealing with infertility?
I spoke to my mom last night. She had surgery on her foot yesterday morning. Apparently, her nurse was an acquaintance of mine from high school. My mom went on to relay that the acquaintance had one kid and was pregnant with another. Thanks for the update, mom. Then my mom told me that the acquaintance asked all about me and asked what I was up to. My mom said that she told her what she tells anyone when they ask what I’m doing these days: “She’s trying to get pregnant.” WHAT? When did I say it was ok to go around blabbing that to everyone and anyone? Great, now when I see any of these people, I’m sure I’ll get asked about it. What happens if IVF doesn’t work for us? I really don’t want to have to explain that to the world.
I guess it all goes back to the fact that there’s no way to know what it’s like to deal with infertility unless you’ve been there yourself. People, no matter how much they try, will never really get all that goes along with being infertile. I’m just glad my mom and mother-in-law live in different states than we do. I can’t imagine what they’d come up with if I saw them on a regular basis.
- Posted in : various other ramblings
- Author : amanda
Comments»
LOL about the online course!! I thought that was too funny!! Most of us could probably teach a course like that. :)
Yeah, I can relate to the mother thing. My mom always have something insensitive or rude to say to me. She’s always nagging me about why I waited for 3 yrs. after marriage to start trying. She’s convinced that’s the reason we are having trouble now. I try to avoid talking to her about this at all cost. She just plainly doesn’t understand what I’m going through and only has mean remarks to make.
I just wish that some of the people we love would jut GET A CLUE!
Katie, I can relate. We waited 3.5 years after we got married to start trying, and we didn’t tell anyone until my husband had to have surgery a few months ago. So, I guess that was almost 5 years of hearing my mom talk about future grandchildren and having her show me all the new things she had bought for those non existent grandchildren every time I visited.
Correction: almost 6 years of hearing my mom go on and on about grandchildren. Either I can’t count or I’ve block out how long we’ve been trying now.
I think I’ve tried to block out that memory, too! LOL! I still can’t believe it’s been four years of actively trying and still NO BABY to show for it.
When I think about it, it makes me queasy. Other women’s babies have now become toddlers and infants. And I’m still trying to get one darn egg fertilized. That’s so pitiful. I think it’s time we all deserve a little break.
Good luck to you. Hope your husband will find something to help him and you’ll have a beautiful bundle of joy soon.