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Checklist July 29, 2004

I bought The Couple’s Guide to In Vitro Fertilization a while back and was skimming through it again last night. I like this book, because it is written from a patient’s perspective as opposed to a doctor’s. Anyway, I came across this checklist near the back of the book that’s supposed to help you evaluate your level of preparedness for IVF.

Before we first starting trying 2.5+ years ago, we definitely had many frank discussions about whether or not we were ready to have kids. By that point we had been married 3.5 years and together a total of 6.5 years and felt that we were finally emotionally and financially ready to have a family. But after we made the decision, it’s not like we really dwelled on it. We did what everyone else does, we “tried.”

Once we were diagnosed with infertility, everything changed. I feel like that’s all I’ve thought about since then. Now pregnancy is just such an abstract, unobtainable concept to me. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. It’s my biggest dream. I think dealing with infertility, at least for me, involves conditioning yourself to not expect to actually get pregnant. It’s the only way to protect yourself from sheer and utter heartbreak month after month. After all of this time of never having a chance of getting pregnant, to actually have a real chance, even if it’s not a great one, is just mind boggling to me. It’s just so much to adjust to. I couldn’t sleep last night with all of this floating around in my brain, as evidenced by the time of night (morning) that I last commented on this blog. I guess I better get my brain to wrap around the concept that this could work for us. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but would I really be willing to go through all that is about to come if I didn’t really think it could work?

Comments»

1. Dawn - July 29, 2004

Amanda, thanks for adding a link to the book, I just purchased one myself. I am still adjusting my brain to the thought that rather than beginning an IUI in 2 days, I am embarking on IVF. Since it is the first for both of us, I think we should really keep up with one another to share experiences, because as excited as we are (and as exciting as it is), it is also going to SUCK!!!!! ;-)

2. amanda - July 30, 2004

Don’t worry, Dawn. I’m definitely going to be keeping up with you. I’ll be glued ot your blog throughout this whole process. You’re right. It’s kind of exciting, but I’m also dreading it. Good luck with your surgery.

3. Anonymous - August 3, 2004

I’m doing my first cycle of IVF, too. You might have already blogged about this, but when are you starting your cycle?

Marla

4. amanda - August 3, 2004

Marla, hi. I started birth control pills this past Sunday. I start Lupron on 8/19 and Gonal-F on 9/3. My estimated date for ER is 9/15 and for ET is 9/20. Good luck on your first IVF.