My Baby’s Home July 12, 2004
Salvador’s home! I got to go pick up our precious kitty cat at noon today. He fought the people at the vet when they tried to remove his catheter, so they had to knock him out with some gas, and he’s still a little groggy from that. I had to call the vet right we when got home because the bandage they had put on his front leg where the catheter had been was driving him crazy. They let me know it was ok to take it off.
He must have had a very full bladder from the iv, because when I let him out of the kitty carrier, his back end was completely soaked. I cleaned him up with some paper towels, and he’s done a good job of bathing himself clean. He’s shown some interest in food, which is key. He ate a bite of crunchy food and a couple of bites of tuna. Our biggest challenge right now is to get him eating regularly on his own. They had to syringe feed him at the vet because he refused food. He’s on a couple of medicines, (an antibiotic and one for his gallbladder) and I’m supposed to watch how he’s doing and report back to the vet. We should get the biopsy results back today or tomorrow.
His total bill came to $2,900, and you know what? He’s worth every penny. While I was waiting for them to get him ready, another lady came into the vet’s office. She was picking up her pet’s ashes. I just sat there and gave thanks that I was picking up my kitty, no matter what the cost. It’s so good to have my baby home at last.
Encouraging Day July 11, 2004
My husband and I went to visit Salvador again this morning. He was definitely doing better than he was yesterday. He had perked up a lot and was rubbing on us and purring the whole time we were there. He still hadn’t thrown up since the surgery, so that was very good news. He really hadn’t eaten much since the vet got him to eat the 2 tender vittles last night, so she syringe fed him some canned cat food while we were there. If he keeps that down that will be really good.
The vet is going to take his iv out later today, so that will make him very happy. If he continues to get better and can keep some food down, he will be able to come home tomorrow. The vet is going to call us tonight to let us know how he’s doing. The main goal right now is to get him to eat on his own. The vet thinks this might be accomplished more easily when he’s at home and less stressed out by his environment. It was very obvious that he wanted to come home with us today. He got upset when we had to close his cage and leave. My hubby and I are very relieved that our baby is doing better and are hoping that he’ll be able to come home tomorrow.
Salvador
Breathing a Little Easier July 10, 2004
My husband and I went to visit Salvador this morning. He was hanging in there but was obviously very sick and weak. The vet said he was getting depressed, but I think he was glad to see us. He sat up for us and even purred a little. They had him on iv fluids including B vitamins, a medicine to settle his tummy, and pain medicine. The best news was that he had not thrown up since he had the surgery yesterday afternoon. The vet said that they did find a pretty large fecal hairball in him during the surgery. That might be the cause of all of this or it could be something like pancreatitis or even an infectious disease. We won’t know until we find out the results of the biopsies on Monday.
The vet let us know that his bill is already up to $2,000 not including the cost of the biopsies. She said to let her know when/if we wanted her to stop treatment (based on the financial aspect, not on how he’s doing). We told her that our goal is to get him all better. We’re very fortunate that we are able to get him good care. I asked her if he was suffering, but she said that his pain is being managed well.
The vet called back tonight. She’s been great. She went up to check on him three times today, even though it was her day off. She said that he had perked up some and even ate two tender vittles. He also hadn’t vomited all day. That is such good news, and the vet said she was encouraged by his progress today. We’re still not out of the woods, but it’s starting to look like he might pull through. We’re going to visit him again tomorrow morning and hopefully get him to eat a little more. I miss my kitty so much. I really hope he continues to get better and that he can come home soon.
Surgery July 9, 2004
I just spoke to the vet again. Here’s the latest on Salvador. They completed the surgery but did not find any obstructions. They biopsied the liver, pancreas, stomach, and large and small intestines and should have the results back on Monday. So basically, they still don’t know what’s wrong with him. They have him on iv fluids and an antibiotic, and the vet said he’s doing ok. They’re going to try to get him to eat something once he’s recovered from the surgery somewhat. The vet said that he most likely won’t be ready to come home this weekend, but my husband and I are going to visit him tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to give him lots of kisses.
Updates
Let’s start with the easy one. My hubby was supposed to have the blood tests done yesterday morning that are required before we start IVF. Well, he woke up with a pretty bad bloody nose, so I suggested that getting more blood pulled out of his body probably wasn’t a good idea. When he woke up this morning he felt sick. I’m sure it’s from all of the stress from dealing with our kitty’s situation. We decided that the blood tests could wait until Monday.
It looks like our precious kitty cat will be having surgery this afternoon. I spoke to the vet this morning, and he had vomited more overnight and had blown out his catheter. They had to put in a new catheter, but he cooperated this time so they didn’t have to sedate him. The plan for the day was to give him some laxatone, which is a greasy type of medicine used to treat hairballs that might make things “slide out easier” and wait and see what happened.
I got another call from the vet about half an hour ago. They gave Salvador the laxatone twice, but he threw it up both times. They will now have to go in for exploratory surgery. They’re not 100% certain that they’re dealing with a foreign body since the barium study was inconclusive. If they get in there and do not find something causing an obstruction, they will take biopsies of his stomach and small intestine to check for infectious diseases. Someone is supposed to call me back and let me know how much all of this will cost, but the vet estimated that it will be upwards of $2,000. At this point, I really don’t care how much it costs if they make him better and he can come home.
I asked if we could visit him, and the vet said that we could come see him tomorrow morning while they’re open and that she could meet us there on Sunday if we wanted to see him then too. I miss my little guy so much. The apartment just seems empty without him. My two girl kitties are doing their very best to make me feel better. It’s amazing how cats can sense when you really need them.
So, I’m just going to sit here and send my kitty good thoughts until I hear back from the vet. I love you, Salvy.
My Precious Salvador July 8, 2004
I’m losing it. My heart breaks for my kitty cat. Salvador wasn’t responding to the medicine the vet gave him and was still vomiting and refusing to eat, so I brought him back to the vet this morning. It killed me to have to leave him there. I just called to check on him.
So far, they’ve done a barium treatment with xrays to check for any foreign objects causing a blockage. They could only get some of the barium in before he threw it up, so they weren’t able to get a complete picture of things. They did see opacity in the small intestines and
stomach which could indicate a blockage. They did blood tests on him which came back normal for electrolytes and white blood cells, but he was dehydrated (as to be expected). They’ve got him on iv fluids, and they’re going to keep him overnight and evaluate his films in the morning. If he hasn’t passed anything by Saturday, they’ll have to do surgery.
Salvador is my baby, and I just can’t stand the thought of him being sick. I know he’s so lonely right now, and it kills me. I’ve cried so much today that I have a monster headache. I’m supposed to call the vet back tomorrow at 10 am to check on his progress. I really hope my little guy pulls through all of this. I know this is going to cost a fortune, but I don’t even care. I don’t think I can make it through what lies ahead for us without him. I just want my baby home with me.
That About Sums It Up July 7, 2004
I found this awesome piece about infertility on one of the bulletin boards I read. It’s called Empty Arms. The creator had posted the link and encouraged people to share it. When I first watched it many months ago, it really touched me. Now that we have been through so much more in our struggles with infertility it means even more. It really gets to the heart of the emotional struggle that infertile people deal with. I can’t watch it without crying, but it’s really cathartic for me.
Follow Up
I’ve just returned from my husband’s follow up appointment. The doctor went back over the results of his surgery and why the reconstruction was not possible. We found out that the sperm that was retrieved during the surgery and subsequently cryopreserved, was frozen in only 2 different tubules. The doctor said they can refreeze the sperm if there is some left over after using them for IVF/ICSI. I guess they wanted to make sure that there were enough good quality, motile sperm in each tubule.
The doctor ordered the blood tests that my husband will need before we start IVF. My hubby will have those done tomorrow, and we should be able to get the results sometime early next week. I’m glad my hubby will not have to have any more tests, surgeries, etc. after tomorrow, but that makes it official that we’re moving on to IVF. No more appointments with the urologist = no more chances that we can avoid the trying world of IVF.
I came home from the appointment and cried on the bed. It’s just hard. Then I treated myself to one of these for breakfast. Not so healthy, but definitely yummy.
My kitty still isn’t doing too well. We’ve been giving him his medicine (which he detests) but haven’t seen too much improvement in him. He still won’t eat. I hope he gets better soon. It hurts my heart to see him sick.
I’m Sick of Infertility July 6, 2004
I’m so damn sick of it. I hate how it’s invaded my whole life. It’s all I think about, read about, and talk about. I’m so mad about how it’s taken over everything, that I’m just going to blog about other stuff today.
My kitty, Salvador is sick. Last night he vomited some bright green gooey stuff. I’m pretty sure it was bile. He vomited again at least twice during the night and once this morning. He also won’t eat. Last night he wouldn’t eat his canned food or any of the cat treats I tried to give him. This morning I tried to get him to eat some of his crunchy food and even gave him some ham (which he usually loves) to no avail. This really worried me. Salvador is a big fan of eating, so I knew he wasn’t feeling well at all.
I took him to the vet a little while ago. I was concerned that his sickness might have something to do with his urinary troubles, but the doctor said his physical exam was fine and his bladder was empty, so no blockages. The vet gave him a shot of anti-vomiting medicine and gave me some drops of the same medicine to give him 3 times a day. He also said to give him 1 pepcid ac a day for 3 days. I’m supposed to not give him any food for the rest of the day and then start him on some canned prescription food the vet gave me that’s supposed to be gentle on the tummy. If he doesn’t improve in a couple of days, I have to bring him back in for blood tests and xrays. I sure hope he’s feeling better soon. Plus, the $125 I’ve already spent on him today seems like enough for one week.
On a lighter note, Big Brother and The Amazing Race start their new seasons tonight. I’m a tv junkie, and I’m looking forward to some non rerun tv. The Amazing Race is my all time favorite reality show, so I’m excited. I know a lot of people aren’t fans of reality tv, but it’s nice for me to be able to escape from the “real world” for a little bit.
Weekend Pictorial July 5, 2004
My husband and I have returned from our jaunt to visit my parents for the 4th of July holiday. Here are a few pictures from our trip:
An awesome picture my husband took of the fireworks with the American Flag in view.
Boats on Lake Charles waiting for the fireworks.
Fireworks over the lake.
Wishful Thinking July 3, 2004
I checked out In Vitro Fertilization: The A.R.T. of Making Babies from the library. As I was reading through it today, I noticed someone had left their library check out slip in the book. I looked at it, and to my amazement the other book that person had checked out was What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Talk about counting your chickens before they hatch.
Road Trip
Tomorrow morning my husband and I are leaving to go visit my parents for the 4th of July holiday. It’s only a 2 1/2 hour drive, so it shouldn’t be too bad. It should be an interesting weekend, though. My parents have temporary custody of their great nephews (my cousin’s children). I’m not sure what that makes them to me- second cousins? Ok. I was curious, so I looked it up. They’re my first cousins, once removed.
Anyway, they’re ages 2 and 4, so they’re quite a handful. I enjoy being around them, but sometimes it hurts a little. It’s just a reminder to me that there are a lot of kids out there who have parents that don’t want them and are terrible at parenting when there are so many of us who would be wonderful parents if only we could manage to get pregnant. The little boys were living with their dad (my cousin) who was arrested for felony child endangerment. When he was arrested, he was so high that he couldn’t even tell the cops how many children he had. Their mother had already left the scene about a year ago. Child Protective Services has been watching their situation for a while, and now finally have reason enough to remove them from that environment. My parents had been taking care of them on occasional weekends, so it was natural for them to get temporary custody. Plus, there’s no one else to take them. As previously noted, their mom and dad are both losers. My cousin’s mom died a few years ago, and his dad has never been in the picture. My grandparents are too old and unhealthy to adequately care for them, so that leaves my parents. They are thrilled to have them. They love those little guys, and I’m sure they’re better off with them anyway.
We’re only spending about 24 hours there. I like spending time with my family, but sometimes it’s best to limit visits to shorter amounts of time. I’m sure we’ll have a good time. (I’ve always loved watching fireworks!)
My Cat Hat July 2, 2004
My kitty, Dixie (Calico pictured here), has a new habit of sleeping on my pillow- while I am, too. She either lies right up against my head or ON my head. Unbelievingly, this is not the worst part. Apparently, she can only stay comfortable in any given position for a little while. Then she makes this circle where she walks down off the pillow, over my neck, and back to lie on my head, stepping on my hair every time. I’m sure a lot of people would get annoyed enough to make her get off the bed, but she’s my sweet old lady kitty. She’s 16, and I don’t know how much longer she’ll be with us. Plus, as a general rule, I spoil my kitties.
One of my other cats, Salvador, has gotten in the habit of waking me up EVERY morning between 4:30 and 5:00 am. He does this by jumping on top of a short bookshelf that is near my side of the bed. It’s used as a makeshift bedside table, so there are things on top of it like my glasses, a book, etc. He finds it entertaining to play with such items. Usually, I can pick him up and set him on the ground, and all is well. Well, last night (this morning) he just wouldn’t stop. Every time I put him down, he jumped back up. Finally, I just took everything off of the top of the bookshelf and put it on the ground. I figured he would just get up there and lie down. He did, but only for a minute. He then found it fun to play with the crack between the bookshelf and the wall and also the magazines on the top shelf. By this point, I was getting annoyed. I finally took him to the living room, where miraculously he found something else to play with.
So, I’m trying to go back to sleep, when my “cat hat” decides to come to bed. She breathes (wheezes) quite loudly because she’s old. That, combined with the head thing, gave me zero chance of going back to sleep. As if that wasn’t enough, the baby in the apartment directly above us started crying. They’ve recently moved in, and I only rarely hear the baby. Still, like I needed a reminder that people all around me are procreating while I’m not.
I think I finally got back to sleep at about 6:30, 15 minutes before my husband’s alarm clock went off. I really love my three furry babies, but man, they sure can be a handful sometimes.
Badges of Honor July 1, 2004
Julia’s post about honor badges got me thinking about what badges my husband would have earned by now (see my comment on her blog). Here’s one that he’s definitely earned. He’s earned this one a couple of times. Here was the one he attempted to earn. Here’s one we’re hoping to earn soon.
Pollyanna?
I’m glad I’m the kind of person that thrives on being informed. When dealing with infertility, I just don’t know how you can afford not to be. I can’t even begin to tally up the countless hours I’ve spent reading books, medical publications, bulletin boards, and of course blogs. It’s reassuring to walk into a doctor’s office and know exactly what’s going to come out of the doctor’s mouth (sometimes to the annoyance of the doctor). I know more about the male reproductive system than I ever cared to.
Sometimes I wish I was a true pollyana, one of those women who goes into her first IVF knowing it will work, knowing that a positive beta will equal a healthy newborn. I am so grateful for all the wonderful gals out there who share with all of us their everyday battles with infertility, the ups and the downs. I’ve learned so much, but every now and then I wish that I still had the innocence to believe that everything was going to work out just peachy.
I’ve noticed that a lot of the infertility blogs out there are female infertility related. That makes sense, all the infertility blogs I read are written by women. I am an admitted IVF virgin and have dealt with a different side of infertility, the male side. I often wish it was me. I know I wouldn’t have dealt with things half as well as my husband has, but I wish I could do more. It’s hard to watch him go through so much, as I sit here pretty much unscathed (except for that HSG, which was truly a bitch). I know my turn in the spotlight is fastly approaching, but it still kills me that my hubby has gone through so much.
I realize this post is all over the place. I guess it all boils down to how to effectively assimilate all of this acquired information into your own situation. It’s hard not to read about all the successes and failures and wonder, “Which one will I be?” Only time will tell. I just hope to get through what lies ahead with the grace that I have “seen” so many others exude.
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