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OK- I Take It Back August 5, 2004

I’ve written a couple of posts in which I griped about my mother in law. Mostly about the emails she sends me. I didn’t really think she got how sensitive I was about the whole infertility thing. Well, I guess I was wrong, at least partially.

She called last night while my husband was still at work. We talked for nearly half an hour. Our conversation centered around two things: the upcoming anniversary celebration for my husband’s grandparents (her parents) and our infertility. They’re leaving for Michigan tomorrow, over a week before we’ll be going. She made a comment about how she realized how hard that weekend is going to be for us. You see, my husband’s cousin will be there with her new baby. This baby is the first great-grandchild on that side of the family and will undoubtedly be the center of attention. My mother in law went on to say that she knew that the new baby would be getting all of the attention, and she realized that would be hard for us to watch. I told her that yes, it was going to be very hard for us, especially for me. I let her know that I had even debated not making the trip for that very reason. She was very supportive about the whole situation.

We also talked about who should be told about our infertility and upcoming IVF on my husband’s side of the family. Both my mother in law and father in law’s families are very catholic, so that could be an issue. We talked about how important it was to only share the info with people we thought would be supportive of us and not judgmental.

We have not told any of the people on my side of the family except my immediate family. I don’t think any of them would really “get it” or even make the attempt to. I guess we just have to do our best to make the judgment call on who will and won’t be supportive, and if we’re wrong, just deal with that the best we can.

It was a good conversation. I know I’ve griped about my mother in law on my blog a few times, but that’s really just a way for me to work through my feelings. I’m just thankful that both my husband and I are surrounded by family members that care and are supportive of us.

Comments»

1. Anonymous - August 5, 2004

We haven’t told anyone on both sides of our family except my BIL and SIL because they are going through IF. However, my BIL made the comment many times that IVF will work *for them* because his wife is young (33) haha. The way I see it, if they don’t know, they can’t comme
nt– even if they are well intended. I get my support from my IF group and reading blogs. These are the people that understand.

The Catholic thing– my understanding is that the church takes issues with leftover frozen embroyos and selective reduction, donors, not necessarily the entire ART ballgame. But better safe than sorry if you don’t know their point of view.

Marla