Shooting Up August 4, 2004
When I first considered the prospect of doing IVF, I was pretty much terrified of the whole injection thing. I’ve never been a fan of needles, not that anyone really is. The thing I’ve found, though, is that the closer we get to actually having to do the injections, (only 15 more days, not that I’m counting) the less nervous I’ve become. I thought it would be the opposite, but I’m more determined than ever to just get that part over with. I’m even fairly confident that I’ll be able to give myself the subq shots, which is a good thing knowing how my husband deals with similar situations.
I’ve been meaning to blog about the following event but always think of something else to write about. My husband has a track record with passing out. Back in college, he came with me to one of my abnormal psychology classes one day. It just so happened that the lecture that day was about gross physical abnormalities. Half way through the lecture, I look over and my husband is totally unconscious and shaking in a seizure like manner. It totally freaked me out. I got the attention of the professor, and the rest of the people in the big lecture hall as a result. The professor cleared the classroom, someone called 911, and another student that happened to be premed or prenursing or something medical came up to help us. She even had her little resuscitation mask thingy. I think my husband came to by the time the paramedics got there. (It’s hard to remember exactly since I was freaking out). The paramedics put him on a stretcher and brought him to the student health center. (Not to worry. The health center at our university was not rinky dink at all). They ran a bunch of tests on him including an EKG. What did the doctors decide had happened? He had simply passed out. Yep, the lecture had made him so queasy that he had passed out. It was terrifying at the time, but we can look back at laugh at it now.
That’s just one example of why I think my husband might have trouble with giving me the injections. He has trouble getting a simple blood draw, so giving me shots might be interesting. Last night, as my newly self-confident self, I told my husband that I was pretty sure that I could give myself the shots, so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it. He replied that he wanted to give them to me. I think it’s great that he wants to be involved, and that is one way that he can help. It’s sweet that he’s willing to try to overcome this fear in order to try to make things a little easier for me. We’ll see how sweet it is, though, when I’m scooping him off the kitchen floor.
Is There Something in the Water?
I’ve come to the conclusion that there must be something in the water in blogworld this week. Three of the lovely ladies who have blogs that I read have gotten positive betas this week. Congratulations to Pazel, Mandy, and Dee. I sure hope whatever they’ve got will rub off on me and the rest of my blogging pals.
The Double Edged Sword August 3, 2004
I think there are two types of IVF patients. The first has the intense need to know as much as possible about IVF. This patient will scour all resources (books, google searches, medical journals, infertility blogs, etc.) in order to be as informed as possible. This patient just can’t know enough about it. The second type of patient trusts her doctor to know what’s best. This patient learns what she needs to in order to survive the IVF process, but she doesn’t go digging to learn anything above and beyond that. This patient follows instructions well.
OK. I know this is a horrible generalization, but I think you get my point. I, and most of the blogging infertiles I read, are type 1 patients. I guess I thought everyone was like this since this is what I am and what I am surrounded by. Not so. Yesterday I posted on a message board about the questions I had with my protocol. I noted that I had asked to be switched from progesterone suppositories to PIO for the reasons mentioned in my other post. Someone replied that they had been on suppositories during their previous IVF, and they hadn’t realized that there was another option. It just baffled me that this person had gone through IVF without ever hearing about PIO.
I think, all in all, it’s good to be a type 1 patient, but it does have it’s down sides. At one point during my husband’s treatment, his doctor told me that I was asking board-level questions. The nurse assigned to my husband during his big surgery asked me if I was also a nurse based on how I was speaking to my husband’s doctor and the other nurses. To me, these are good things. Infertility and IVF are the most challenging things I’ve ever encountered. The only way for me to survive mentally and emotionally is for me to be super informed. I know more about the male reproductive system than I ever dreamed I would know. Not only is being a type 1 patient the best way I can see to make sure my husband and I receive the best medical treatment for our specific case, it’s also a coping mechanism for me.
Now, the down side. It can make me a little crazy at times. Yesterday, instead of “getting excited” about receiving my protocol, like a lot of new IVF patients would, I worried incessantly about my protocol. I know there’s no such thing as the perfect protocol, especially since this is my first IVF, but I wanted to make sure that mine was as close as possible. I just couldn’t stop worrying about whether or not I was going to be on Lupron for too long.
I guess I should start trusting my doctors more, but I can’t. Ever since my OBGYN in South Bend told me that the fact that we hadn’t conceived by that point was probably due to stress and that once my husband was out of law school we’d probably be able to conceive more easily. And ever since my first OBGYN in Houston told me that I shouldn’t have fertility testing done, due to the fact that our insurance wouldn’t cover it since our infertility had already been determined to be male factor, I don’t trust doctors as a rule. I eventually learned to trust my husband’s urologist, but only because I had done enough research to know that everything coming out of his mouth was right. One thing that infertility has taught me is that I have to be my own advocate when it comes to my and my husband’s healthcare. Never again will I walk into a doctor’s office without having done my research beforehand.
I guess I should qualify all of my above statements with the fact that I think people should do what works for them. If you’re a type 2 patient, and that works for you, by all means don’t listen to me. I just think people should take some time to inform themselves. I don’t think, however, that anyone needs to drive themselves crazy like I do. I have to admit that I’m obsessed. A lot of people would think that I’m insane for gluing myself to the internet all day long. This is how I deal with all of this. If it’s less stressful for people to be a type 2 patient or to think, “I would never let infertility take over my life like that,” go right ahead. I guess we all just have to do our best to get through all of this however we see fit.
And So It Begins August 2, 2004
I took my first birth control pill last night. It felt really weird to pop that thing in my mouth. The last bcp I took was in December of 2001. I’m really hoping they don’t make me feel like crap, but they probably will. I got sick when I first started taking birth control pills back in the dark ages.
I went and picked up my big fat IVF info packet this morning. I looked through my protocol and had a couple of questions. I waited around so that I could talk to the IVF coordinator. First, they have me scheduled to take Lupron for 15 days before I have my baseline ultrasound and start stims. That seemed a little long to me. Basically, it all has to do with scheduling. They try to schedule all baselines for Fridays. I asked about oversuppression but was told that it shouldn’t be a problem due to my age (27) and FSH (4.5). What do you guys think?
Secondly, they had me scheduled to take progesterone suppositories and lozenges instead of PIO. I asked why this was, and the coordinator told me they have had problems with people having reactions to the PIO and also problems with patient compliance. She told me that she could switch me to PIO if I wanted, and I told her “yes, please.”
It’s my understanding that PIO is the “gold standard” when it comes to progesterone supplementation, so I don’t want to take any chances with anything else. Also, I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’d rather have a big old needle stuck in my butt once a day than to have to deal with messy suppositories twice a day. I’m not a fan of having yucky stuff shoved up my hoo ha.
So, I guess things are set. They’re going to fax my prescription order today. Oh, along with my packet ‘o info, I got a couple of instructional videos (they do that instead of an injection class) and a nifty little bag to carry my meds with me if need be. It has a little cool pack thing, a miniature sharps container, alcohol pads and bandaids, and a practice vial and syringe. Pretty cool. I know, I get excited about the littlest things. My bag will come in handy when we go visit my parents for the weekend of my dad’s bday the day after my first injection. That should be interesting.
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