Tell Me Your Numbers, and I’ll Tell You Mine September 10, 2004
I think that in just about every IVF book I’ve read there’s been a comment about not comparing your numbers to others during an IVF cycle. You know, the important numbers: follicles, E2, eggs retrieved, eggs fertilized, etc. You know what? I think it’s impossible not to, especially when you blog and when you participate in message boards.
Here are my numbers from today (after 7 nights of stims):
Right- 16, 10, 10, 9, 9, 8, 6, 4
Left- 12, 12, 12, 11, 11, 10, 9
Lining at 9mm.
E2 from Wednesday was 349. E2 from today was 1015.
It’s hard not to compare my numbers to other’s. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m responding quite as well as I should be. With my relatively young age, low FSH, and lack of any obvious female factor infertility, I just expected to be Super Responder Girl. You know, like a super hero or something. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I post in a “under 30″ cycle buddy thread where the other girls have 20+ follicles. One girl retrieved 27 eggs, had plenty of embryos left over to freeze, and just got her positive beta. Another girl started stims the same night I did and is triggering tonight for ER on Sunday.
There’s a section in one of my IVF books, The Couple’s Guide to In Vitro Fertilization, where the author touches on the subject of comparison. She cautions the reader to resist comparing notes in too much detail with other IVF patients. She provides an example where two women are undergoing IVF at the same time. They share many things in common, including age, FSH, and protocol, so they compare notes along the way. At retrieval one had 30 eggs and the other 10. The first woman had 20 good embryos develop and the other had 2. The second woman says, “…comparing notes, and coming up short, made me feel like a loser. One day I went straight home and fell on my bed and sobbed, convinced my cycle would be a bust.” Of course, both women ending up getting pregnant, but that’s not the point.
The point is that I feel like that second women. I came home today from my appointment and cried. I had such high hopes. I know that this cycle is far from over, and things are actually going ok in the grand scheme of things. It’s just hard to go from having your hopes up to having little hope. Ok. So, I’m a bit melodramatic, but so what? I wanted enough eggs retrieved in case we don’t have a great fertilization rate given our severe male factor, and I wanted to have enough eggs retrieved to give us a chance at being able to freeze some embryos in case this doesn’t work. I don’t know when we’ll be able to do another fresh cycle. It’s so hard, not to mention the financial aspect.
What I’m really worried about, though, is that giant 16 in there. It’s so much bigger than the rest of them. That can’t be good. I spoke to my IVF coordinator today. Then plan is to sacrifice the dominant follicle by letting it over mature to get the majority of my follicles to the 18-20 range in order to trigger. I don’t go back until Monday since I’m stimming slowly. Hopefully the smaller follicles will have grown by then, and I’ll be able to trigger Monday night. I do have to keep in mind that the dominant follicle may keep the other ones from growing. I sure hope that doesn’t happen. I’m really not in the mood to be cancelled.
- Posted in : IVF Part 1: IVF #1
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I know exactly what you mean about it being difficult not to compare. Hell, the first thing I did after I put my new post up today was rush over to check your blog to see how things went for you today. It’s not that I think either of us is doing worse or better than the other — more like I just want reassurance that what’s happening with me is normal.
You have plenty of follies growing; don’t worry about that for a second. As for your bigger one, as you know, I have the exact same thing going on. The NP told me to just relax. She said that particular one would be no good, but it shouldn’t affect the others at all.
Oh, and one other thing. My NP also told me they often find more eggs during the retrieval than they ever knew existed during the progress appts. This happens because sometimes follicles can obscure entire eggs.
All in all, it sounds like things are going just fine for you. So what if you have to stim a little longer? Slow and steady wins the race, right? Good luck!
You are doing just fine! You are doing great.
Give yourself a little hug and thank your body for responding so well.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this bummed right now. I won’t say “Try not” to this or “Try” that in terms of setting focus. All I will tell you is the number of follicles is meaningless. Your status as an assumingly fertile gal means nothing when it comes to drug induced follicle maturity. Its all about how you respond to the stims and all it takes is one good embryo in the end.
Look, when I did the IVF thing I had 11 useable eggs at retrieval - more had appeared to be maturing, but only 11 were useable. I had 8 embryos. My cycle did not work…but I went on to produce two children without the aid of IVF. I’m not suggesting this will happen to you. What I *am* saying is that based on the children I had sans intervention obviously I can produce at least one egg that works…yet the stims didn’t have me all super follicle girl. My point is to not let what you think *should* happen dampen what *does* happen.
The stories of women that had just one or two decent embryos to transfer for those with super stockpiles are endless. The same time I had two super duper “can’t miss” embryos transfer, a friend of mine had two “we’ll do this just because we came this far but we’ll expect a negative and set a consult to evalute plan B on beta day” embyros. She had twins from that cycle. . .I had nothing. You just never know.
Julianna is correct. You often DO have more follicles than seen on the ultrasound.
My first retreival.. I had 16, and 13 eggs were retreived.
Second… I had 11, and 23 eggs were retreived (13 fertilized)
Thi
rd… 7 mature seen… 21 eggs.. (15 fertilized)
And I always had 1 or 2 that were bigger and they let them go buy in order to let the others mature. So sounds like you’re right on track and doing great!
Brenda
I sooo know how you feel. I did my first round of IVF in July and with all my numbers coming back great and my husband’s severe male factor I just assumed I would become a veritable egg factory on stims. I was shocked when the R.E. only got 8 eggs. But the other ladies are right. It doesn’t matter at all, as long as there are a couple healthy embryos to transfer, your chances are just as good as anyone else’s. Please try to stay positive.
I know exactly how you feel. It’s impossible not to compare but it made me feel like shit when I had four follicles! Four?! I think your numbers sound great. Remember the people with less than 27 are less likely to post. Hang in there.
- beaver girl