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I Haven’t Caved…Yet September 30, 2004

I’m not feeling so positive about things today. I’ve really been trying to hang in there during this agonizing wait, but today it’s getting to me. The past few days I’ve been thinking, “Hell, this might have worked.” Well, not today.

I’m bloated and crampy today. I’ve been cramping on and off since a few days after my transfer, but this feels different. I know, I know. Progesterone can cause bloating and cramping along with all the lovely “symptoms” I’m experiencing like exhaustion, sore boobs, and the never ending appetite. Why does this progesterone crap have to fuck with my head so much?

I spoke to my husband this afternoon, and he told me to “stay positive.” I replied that what’s done is done, and it doesn’t matter if I’m positive now or not. I can’t help that I feel like crap.

So, I’ll be caving sometime soon. I haven’t quite decided when, but it will definitely be before the weekend is over. I just have to know. I need to know whether to be happy or sad. I feel bipolar right now, and I really need to know which emotion to go with.

Comments»

1. Julianna - September 30, 2004

Then do it in the morning. Like you said “what’s done is done” and if it is negative tomorrow, it doesn’t mean that you are not pregnant.

Can your husband go to work late to be with you??

Take care.

2. amyesq - September 30, 2004

I agree with the previous poster, test! Tomorrow is Friday so it is kind of like the weekend… at least you will know if you ARE PG, although if you get a - it doesn’t necessarily mean you are not. I forget when your beta is??

3. amanda - September 30, 2004

My beta is on Monday. Tommorow will be 10dp5dt. Betas average between 130 and 180 at that point depending on what source you reference, so whenever I test from that point on it should give me a pretty definite answer about whether this worked or not. I don’t know. I want to know, but I don’t.

4. Sheri - September 30, 2004

Definitely test! I will be crossing my fingers and praying for you. I’m thinking of you, I know I would be going crazy too.

5. Heather - September 30, 2004

For what it’s worth, when I woke up at 3:50 a.m. Monday morning, I was sooooo sure I wasn’t pregnant that I started crying. I just decided to test to confirm it, so I could sleep away some of my misery. Which just goes to show you — you never, ever know. Good luck!

Heather
One Pink Line

6. Anonymous - September 30, 2004

Yeah, go ahead and test tomorrow. We’re all on pins and needles with you! I’ll be praying for TWO PINK LINES for you. Good luck!

7. Dawn - September 30, 2004

not to be the bummer post here, but can you get an accurate result on an HPT due to all the progesterone? I may be confused, but I thought I was told that a test would turn out positive NO MATTER WHAT b/c of all the progesterone I would be injecting, and therefore I was told not to test so I didn’t get my hopes up for nothing.

I could be wrong though - am I? Honestly, if you want to test, then you should. Really. I am sure I will “regardless” of whether I should be or not.

8. MJ or temptation - September 30, 2004

i happened across your blog by accident, but as i read it i got all emotional. i hope that you are pregnant. Having to work so hard to have babies is very unfair. i really will pray that your test comes back pos. take care.

9. Anonymous - September 30, 2004

TEST!
Dawn: yes, the HPT works independently of progesterone as it o
nly measures a single hormone, hcg. It doesn’t care what other hormones are swimming around in you.
That said, a negative HPT doesn’t mean the end of the world, as they pick up different levels of hcg. When I tested the last time, my First Response HPT purported to pick up as early as a level of 25 hcg, certainly 50 hcg. Yet on the day of my first beta, which was 75, the HPT showed only a faint line.
So test, but if it’s not there or very faint, hang in there until you get to the beta.
Best of luck!
Menita
(lifesjestbook)