Manana Banana

parenthood after dealing with male factor infertility and multiple IVF cycles

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I Finally Caved October 1, 2004

And I’m kicking myself for it. I knew I would, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I woke up this morning at 4:30 and decided that it was as good as time as any to test. I peed on the damn stick and waited. I honestly can say that I have no clue of what the results are.

I looked at the window of the test very closely. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing, and it was driving me crazy. I saw the control line nice and dark, no problem there, but next to it was a shadow of a line. It wasn’t completely blank, but it wasn’t a definite line either. It was like a shadow of where the line should be. What the fuck? I had no clue what this meant. So, I did what any rational IVF patient would do, I took the damn test apart. I held that strip up to the light and up to a white piece of paper. It was so weird. I just couldn’t tell. Was it an evaporation line? Was it a very, very, very faint line? Was it just where the pee went over the chemical on the strip? Far be it from me to know. I’ve never seen a second line before. I don’t know what the hell they’re supposed to look like.

Of course I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I got a whopping 4 hours last night. I showed my husband the dismantled test, and he agreed that it wasn’t blank but it wasn’t like there was a real line either. I decided I needed to retest. I would do a few things differently this time. I would use a HPT that came free in a different box of ovulation predictor kits, so I knew it was from a different batch. I would hold it as long as possible before testing. This is a lot harder than it sounds thanks to the progesterone. I would also do the pee in the cup, dip the stick in the pee method.

So, I made it to 9:15 and took another test. Same damn results. Not a line, not blank. Ugh. So, I will make a Target run later today and buy some more tests. I’m not buying FREDs though, because I’m totally pissed at them. I will retest once again tomorrow morning and hopefully get a more definite result.

Yeah, this is why they tell you not to pee on a stick after an IVF. I’m exactly where I was yesterday, not having a clue about whether this worked or not. Why did I think that finding out whether or not this IVF worked would be a cut and dry thing? Nothing else about this whole process was easy, why should this be?

• Posted in : IVF Part 1: IVF #1
• Author : amanda

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