A Review, a Rant, Whatever You Want to Call It October 11, 2004
I had heard through the infertility message board grapevine that there was a new magazine on the market entitled Conceive. Now, I’m usually too cheap to spend $5 on a magazine, but yesterday I plopped down my five dollar bill and some change at Barnes and Noble in order to check out this new magazine.
Obviously this magazine is about trying to conceive, but it also focuses a lot on infertility. I was curious to see what they would and wouldn’t include in their premiere issue. They touched on a variety of subjects from ovulation predictor kits to IVF to donor eggs to adoption. There was a personal article on surrogacy and an informational article on how to choose an OB/GYN, RE, egg donor, sperm donor, and adoption agency. There was an article on celebrities that have dealt with infertility.
There was some good and interesting info in this magazine. I don’t think I really learned anything new, but that’s ok. However, there was one little part of this magazine that will most likely keep me from buying it again. In a bold red box in the corner of one of the pages in an article entitled ‘is your body ready for a baby? maximizing your fertility in your 20s, 30s, and 40s’ was the following:
Don’t Panic!
This is just some advice on a few of the things you can do to enhance your fertility, particularly if you are having trouble conceiving. But the most important thing is not to lose hope: a positive state of mind is essential. “Remember that 120 million babies are born around the world every year- that’s 120 million couples who are doing something right,” says Dr. Metzger. “So although it can be difficult, try to relax.”
Oh, no. Please don’t throw that RELAX shit at me again. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves in all of this infertility business. I’m sorry, but my husband and I could be the most relaxed people on the planet, but it’s not going to help his sperm get out of his body. And what’s up with the 120 million couples are doing something right comment? Do you mean to tell me that I’m DOING something wrong. Like it’s my fault? Spare me.
I’m sure most people would have just glanced over that red box, but it really pissed me off. There are two things that really get my blood boiling in this crazy world of infertility: the notion that we just need to relax, and the backhanded blame placed on infertiles. So here’s what I have to say to Dr. Metzger and Conceive Magazine: Please stop telling infertile people to relax. It’s not going to help. We can’t just take a vacation to Italy and wind up pregnant. It’s just not going to happen. And while you’re at it, stop blaming us for being infertile. It’s not our fault. We didn’t cause our infertility.
Maybe this magazine isn’t meant for people like me, people who are no longer at the point where they are focusing on ovulation predictor kits or whether or not exercise can impact fertility. Even though there’s a good portion of this magazine dedicated to IVF and ART, maybe it’s meant for people who are considering those options and not for people who know that’s their only choice for a chance at a biological child. Maybe I’m not the type of person Conceive had in mind when creating their magazine. I don’t know, but I do know that I took offense to that little red box.
Ok. I’m done now. I’m climbing back down off my soap box and throwing away my magazine.
- Posted in : various other ramblings
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Amanda for President!
There’s a freakin’ magazine for EVERYTHING, isn’t there!!
Oh RELAX! I am sooo glad they told me that. I didn’t realize that just RELAXING would get my husband’s sperm count up from, like, four to 200 million! And to think, all this time I’ve been wasting money at the RE’s office. Silly me.
-A
Oh RELAX! I am sooo glad they told me that. I didn’t realize that just RELAXING would get my husband’s sperm count up from, like, four to 200 million! And to think, all this time I’ve been wasting money at the RE’s office. Silly
me.
-A
Thank you for that post. The whole “just relax” message comes in all forms from so many types it makes my head hurt. I quit my job a year ago ‘to relax’ and I am as relaxed as I can get. I knit things, cook food, take pictures and play with scrapbooking other people’s children. I have no stress, no medical explanation, and no damn baby. Grrr.
Oops sorry, the above was me.
Wavery
Bindweed Heights
Ha! This is just why I ended my subscription of one magazine. They had the nerve to publish a reader’s letter which was fine at the beginning, but got preachy at the end. Yes, it was written by someone who had been trying for a year (OMG, that is such a loooong time!), never even seen a doctor about it and then took a vacation and got pregnant. Fine, whatever works for you. But then she kept on and made this brilliant observation that everyone just needs a vacation and boom – they are pregnant. Made me want to vomit. I did not want to support a magazine that would print such a thing.
Just relax, huh? Hmmm…silly me, and I thought you actually had to have sex to get pregnant! But nope, I guess if I just relax, I’ll magically get pregnant, no need for sex in that equation. Damn, where do I sign up?
Can’t say I’ve seen the magazine but after your glowing review of its shortcoming, I know I won’t be putting my $5 down for a copy. Actually, if you’re interested in a ‘reputable’ infertility publication, Resolve (the national infertility association) publishes a quarterly Family Building magazine. It’s not available on bookstore shelves but is free with membership (like $55 a year or something like that). It’s got some really good articles and I’ve learned a lot from some of them–more often than not.
Keep up the good reading–and reviewing!
Well you just saved me about $5! That is incredibly annoying. Ah yes, we are going to really on the highly advanced science of “relaxing” to deal with our medical problems. I would like to ask the next person who suggests that to me, whether they also believe in ESP and can bend spoons with their mind.
Grrrr.
Oh knowing that magazine is out there pisses me off. There target audience sure as hell ain’t infertiles but whiney ass fertiles who need to be the center of attention — “Oh, it took me three months to get pregnant, I’m infertile, someone please feel sorry for me and tell me how amazing I am to have endured all this.” Oh piss off. What utter nonsense crap. This is the kind of crap that gives fuel to the ignorant so they can continue on telling, “Relax, it will happen” like they are some kind of expert.
Yeah, and the fact that my FSH is high and I’m almost 40?
Oh, grrrrrr.
Emily
scrambledeggs
Because your blog doesn’t have trackbacks, I just watned to let you know this post has been included in the latest edition of The Sunday Post.
http://www.jellybelly-jj.com/archives/2004/10/24/the-sunday-post-vol-i-iss-viii-double-edition/
I wondered about that magazine. Thanks for checking it out!
I HATE that relax shit, too. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh.
Karen/naked ovary
I got a (thankfully free) copy of this mag earlier this week, and was also struck by its schizophrenic nature–quick, is our target audience the happy just-off-birth-control-pill presumably fertile, or is it the bitter, b
loated, angry infertile? It couldn’t seem to decide, which pissed me off. In their defense, I believe this suggestion was in the “presumably fertile” section, but still!!! Grr!
Yup.