Shooting Up Once Again October 28, 2004
Well, it’s official. Popping birth control pills doesn’t feel like really cycling to me, but having a needle shoved into my thigh definitely does. One down, a million to go or so it feels.
I got nervous before my Lupron injection last night. Not because I was scared of the shot itself. Not at all, but I was nervous about what that shot meant. It meant that we were really doing this all again. It was the first step in a really long road to be traveled. I know I should just take things one day at a time, but it’s so hard knowing what’s to come. I will be on Lupron for about a month. A whole entire month. That’s such a daunting thought. Lupron is not my friend. It makes me loopy and moody and gives me headaches. Maybe it will be easier this time around, but I doubt it. It’s just hard to take that first step when you know how hard the rest of the steps will be.
My husband made it home in time to give me my shot last night. I repeatedly told him that it wasn’t necessary, because I could do it myself. But the amazing man that he is made a point to be home for that first one even though he had more than enough reasons to stay at work. It really meant a lot. To me it represented the fact that we are in this together. Sure, I’m the one that will be poked and prodded throughout this FET, but on an emotional level we are in this together. He was amazing during my fresh cycle, and I have no doubt that he’ll be equally fabulous during this FET. I’m just thankful that if I have to go through all of this, it’s with him by my side.
It looks like I’ll be on my own for tonight’s injection, but that’s ok. My poor husband will be working a 16+ hour day today. He’s been working insane hours this week, and it’s taking a toll. I’m sure he’ll probably have to work this weekend, too, so no break there. I know that his job is the reason we can do IVF. There’s not many professions where you can start out making a hefty salary straight out of school. Fortunately law is one. With that pay comes a ton of work, though. A ton. Especially for young lawyers. Even though the clerkship that he’ll be starting in August will mean a substantial pay cut, I’m glad that it will mean less hours for my husband. Hopefully one of these IVFs will work by then. It’s going to be really tough both emotionally and financially if it hasn’t.
So, I guess this is really happening again. Should be an interesting month and a half. I do have to say, though, that those tiny insulin syringes used with the Lupron are practically laughable after experiencing the hell that is the PIOs. It’s amazing how my perspective has changed. I remember looking at those little syringes the first time around and being scared out of my mind. Now they’re just another step in the process. I’m still petrified of those PIOs, though. One step at a time. One fucking step at a time.
- Posted in : IVF Part 2: FET #1
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Hi sweetie!
I am so proud of you.
What helped me last time with my self-injections was to aim for a freckle or spot on my skin and I inserted slowly after I penetrated that spot.
I was stabbing too much before and going to fast with the needle puncture. You really don’t feel it after the initial stick so it doesn’t matter that you penetrate slower. It helped me anyway.
Hang in there!
God, does this sound familiar. The most difficult injection of my whole reproductive career was the first shot of Lupron for IVF #2. The stakes were high and the psychological barrier was MASSIVE. Three cheers to you for shouldering your way past it!
Sounds like things are moving along, which is good. I can understand how it’s a road that you’re not looking forward to traveling down again. It’s hard; gearing up for another cycle can take a lot of of a gal. So hang in there…I’m thinking about you and sending very positive FET thoughts!
And your husband is a prince among men :-)
Good for you for jumping right back on that horse
. I know I couldn’t, I am actually savoring my “break” right now and may prolong it, if I can, until after the holidays are over. Good luck to you, you are admirable for getting right back into things full-force, you are so strong.