Manana Banana

parenthood after dealing with male factor infertility and multiple IVF cycles

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Is It Wednesday Yet? November 22, 2004

I’m really not a patient person. I get very frustrated when I have to wait for something. This FET has been nothing but waiting, so I get antsy from time to time. My FET has been very similar to my fresh cycle in many ways, but there’s one difference that drives me crazy- monitoring. There’s virtually no monitoring in a FET. In a fresh cycle you get almost daily updates on how things are going in there. With a FET you get nada. I have no idea if my lining is doing what it’s supposed to. I really hope it’s cooperating but there’s no way to know until my date with the dildocam on Wednesday morning.

This waiting leads to a bit of paranoia for me. I’m a paranoid person to begin with, so it’s no surprise, but it’s still annoying. I’m the kind of person who has to double check that the door is locked and triple check that the oven is off. My worst habit is turning around to look at the apartment door to make sure no kitties have escaped to the outside world. I’ll literally turn around and look at the door 3-5 times while walking into the parking garage or down the stairs. I have good reason, but it’s still really OCD like behavior. When we lived in South Bend, Salvador managed to escape one time. I don’t know how we didn’t see him, but he went right through the door as we were coming in one day. Luckily the door to the apartment we lived in didn’t open right outside but to a common area shared by four apartments, so he wasn’t really outside. He finally scratched on the door loud enough for us to rescue him, but I think I was scarred for life from that point on. He, of course, was fine.

Anyway, back to the point. I had some Estrace left over from my fresh cycle that I had bought from Freedom Drug. For this FET I used that up first and then started on the Estrace I had gotten from the Target pharmacy. The pills are from different manufacturers and thus look different. I somehow convinced myself that the pills from Target were not really Estrace. I really thought that my cycle was doomed, because I was taking something other than Estrace. To be fair, I had a tiny reason to think this. When you fill a prescription at Target they give you a printout with various information including what the pill should look like. The description on my paper was different from what was in my prescription bottle. I called the pharmacy, and they double checked the main bottle and said it was correct. Nonetheless, this planted the seed for my later run in with craziness. My hubby came to my rescue, though. He found a picture on the internet of what the Estrace from that manufacturer should lo
ok like and calmed my paranoid fears. I now am focusing on something else to be paranoid over- whether or not our embryos will survive the thaw. There’s always something, isn’t there?

So, basically I’m going crazy from having to wait and wait some more. I’m really glad I’m in the home stretch now. Of course, even if I finally make it to transfer I’ll have to endure the dreaded two week wait.

Disclaimer: I fully admit that I am kooky, but I am not stressed out. So, no one use that darn “relax” word in the comment section, k?

• Posted in : IVF Part 2: FET #1, various other ramblings
• Author : amanda

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