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6 Days Down, 6 Days to Go December 9, 2004

I’ve survived half of the wait between transfer and beta, but I know the second half will be much tougher. I’m starting to get a little antsy. I just want to know. Is that really too much to ask? I had fleeting moments of hope during the first few days following transfer, but not so much now. I want this to work so badly, but really what are the chances? Statistically we know that they’re not fabulous. Less than 50% to be sure, but that’s not taking into account the luck factor. You can add a big fat zero to that part of the equation. That’s got to bring down our odds significantly.

I’ve been feeling like total crap the past few days. I wanted to blog yesterday, but I just couldn’t. I kept having to go lay down throughout the day. This progesterone is really kicking my ass. This big FET worthy dose of PIO is just bringing me down. I’m so beyond tired that’s it’s unbelievable.

Of course I’m all up for feeling like total crap if it means anything, but we all know that “symptoms” during the two week wait are total bullshit. I hate not being able to trust my body.

Last night my husband and I had a quick HPT conversation that went a little like this:
Him: “So, when are you breaking out the FREDs?”
Me: “Wednesday.”
Him: “Today’s Wednesday.”
Me: “Next Wednesday. Beta day.”
Him: *confused look crosses over face*
Me: “I’m not telling you, because I don’t want to ruin your birthday.” (His bday is next Tuesday.)
Him: “Do you really think you’ll be able to test without me being able to tell how it went?”

I guess he’s got a point. I’m definitely not waiting until beta day. I need some time to prepare for that. It sucks, though, that I could very well be bringing a huge damper on the whole birthday situation. I mean, who wants to celebrate a birthday when you’ve just received horrible news. I guess I could look at the flipside, but that’s hard for me to imagine. Who knows when I’ll be breaking out the HPTs, and who knows whether they’ll make for one hell of a birthday present or not. I sure wish I knew.

Comments»

1. lobster girl - December 9, 2004

Gah, the waiting sucks. As do the phony (or not?) symptoms. Hang in there. It won’t be long now. I’m wishing all good things for you.

2. Sheri - December 9, 2004

The waiting must be so hard. Hang in there. I’m thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way!

3. amyesq - December 9, 2004

The waiting is the hardest part. Hey, isn’t that a song? If you can wait until Sunday to bust out the FRED’s I will be impressed. And of course you must post as soon as you do!

-AmyY

4. Anonymous - December 9, 2004

waiting sucks weenies. One minute you’re hopeful, the next you’re not. The PIO hell makes it worse. Hang in there. Almost done.
Jen/VintageUterus

5. la gringa - December 9, 2004

You’re a trooper. I can’t imagine how the wait must be. Let us know if and when you do test. My fingers are crossed!

6. ankaisa - December 10, 2004

To HPT or not HPT, that is the question. It is so hard to just wait, but after seeing numerous BFNs you really do not want to test and see another one. Then again it could also be BFP. So no advice here other than if you are planning on doing something on his birthday a BFN will ruin it, no doubt about that.

7. Dee - December 10, 2004

Sending lots of good wishes that the remaining 6 days fly and that the PIO stops its stranglehold on your energy soon!

8. Anonymous - December 10, 2004

Half way there! Half way there! I know you can do it.
Thinking of you.

a
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