Flip Flopping December 10, 2004
I’m suffering from a major case of “I want to know right now/I never want to know” syndrome. One minute I think it’s going to take a safe or something to keep me from the HPTs, and the next minute I’m ready to throw them out. I really do want to know if this worked. I just don’t want to find out that it didn’t.
I’m just really afraid to get that negative again. I’m afraid to feel that sad again. I’m afraid of the thought of doing IVF yet again.
There’s seems to be a lot of people getting pregnant all around me right now, in the blogworld, the message board world, the “real” world. I guess some people would look at that as a good sign, but I’m having trouble doing that. All I can think is that there’s no way
that luck will continue for me.
This is hard. It doesn’t help that I’m jacked up on hormones. I guess one of these days I’m going to have to face the music and find out my fate. The thought of another failure is looming over me big time, but that teeny tiny voice inside me that pops up every great once in a while to remind me that there is a chance, even if it’s a small one, that this could have worked is enough to get me to face this head on.
- Posted in : IVF Part 2: FET #1
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I’m cheering for you!!! GL GL GL
Dana
I have been trying to play Switzerland. I can’t think positive because the thought of thinking positive and then having the negative happen is so overwhelming. If I think negative I think I am predetermining my fate.
So everytime I think one thought I think the complete opposite. Therefore staying neutral. You will know whether to stick or not to stick. You will know which is better for you.
But I am thinking positive thoughts for you. It’s always easier to think them for someone else.
I know what you mean. The thought of a neg. test is sometimes too much to bear, but the hope for a pos. one makes you really want to test. You have to do what is right for you, but if you can hold out another couple days, at least you know that you will have a likely accurate result, if nothing else.
Good luck! This is the worst part.
-AmyY
I feel for you.
And I’m wishing as hard as I can for a positive.
Best of luck.