0-2 December 15, 2004
It’s official. My beta was negative. Again. Fuck. I knew it was coming, but it still sucks so damn much.
We’ve still got some fight left in us, though. I’ll be starting birth control pills again once my period shows up in order to do another fresh cycle. Is this what I hoped for when I started on this IVF roller coaster? Hell no, but I’m not ready to move on. We’re not ready to move on. We’ve got to try again. Sure, my checkbook is trembling away, my body is dreading the torture, and my heart is so fragile after being broken yet again, but I just can’t give up right now.
So, it looks like the IVF saga of Manana Banana will have at least one more chapter. Who knows if or when it will ever have a happy ending, but the hope that it might one day is enough for me to keep trying, at least one more time.
I want to thank all of you, my blogging friends, for your kind words. Knowing that a lot you guys have been through this and so much more helps to remind me that I have the strength to keep going, too. Thanks for the inspiration.
- Posted in : IVF Part 2: FET #1
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I am so sorry Amanda. I wish I could take away the pain.
I’m glad you are all set to go on your next plan. You are so strong. I really admire your strength. I can’t wait for your happy ending.
Amanda, so sorry to hear it is official. I am here for you if you need anything.
Way to jump back on that IVF horse!
Go Manana! The Banana! Go Manana! The Banana!
a
I’m so sorry. Good for your for being ready to jump back on.
(*Y*%^()*. I feel like I have been doing much cursing on blogs lately. That really sucks.
Good for you for still having fight left in you. Despite everything, that doesn’t surprise me so much…
I’m so sorry. That sucks. I admire your fighting spirit.
I was hoping for a miracle. *sigh* I’m so sorry you have to go through all this, yet I’m so impressed with your will and determination. I pray it will be rewarded, and soon.
You are one amazing woman- so strong, so determined!
I’m sorry that this cycle wasn’t the one for you. Will continue to think of you and wish you well on this journey toward motherhood.
Hang in there.
Oh, I’m so, so sorry. I hope you can find a little time for yourself before the rolloer coaster starts back up again.
I wish there was something more helpful to say than I’m sorry. But I am. I’m so sorry.
Danae/Hardscrabble
Oh, Amanda. I am so sorry. I’m glad you have some fight left. It is definitely not over. Thinking of you. Hugs
– Nina
I’m so sorry, Amanda. You know we all understand.
Glad you have a PLAN. That’s great…. moving on.
hugs, Jen/VintageUterus
UGH! This is terrible, I am so truly sorry. GAH! I wish I could say something remotely useful. I am so very sorry.
Ohhhh nooooo……….I was hoping for a miracle as well. I’m sorry is so useless, iamwithu .
I love you.
Take care.
crap I’m so sorry!!! way to get back on the plan though! I hope your FET is the one!!
Dana
Oh, Amanda, I truly am so sorry my friend. You’re so incredibly strong and will get through this…and we’ll be here for/help you every step of the way.
So very sorry Amanda.
Your strength WILL see you through, but the going is oh so rough.
Menita
(lifesjestbook)
That’s awful — I’m so sorry. I’m glad you’re giving it another go. I have my fingers crossed.
I’m so sorry, Amanda..
Go out this weekend and do something really nice for yourself!
OH NO! Not the news I was wanting to hear. Nothing I can say will ever make you feel better, but I’m still thinking of you.
Planning that next cycle is a good thing.
Amanda that really sucks. I’m so sorry. Good for you for staying the course and trying again, it’s not easy.
I am sooo sorry. I’m glad that you’re up on the horse again! Wishing you all the luck in the world.
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you. Let me know if you need anything.