jump to navigation

I Think I Need a Massage January 9, 2005

I’m doing a tad bit of stressing today. Ok, maybe more than a tad bit. One main source of stress is coming from my lack of meds situation. I really wasn’t worrying about it much, but this weekend changed all of that.

I dropped my Lupron Rx off at the Target pharmacy yesterday and was told that it would be ready on Monday. No problem. I don’t need it until Tuesday, so that was fine. Well, today I got a call from the pharmacist to let me know that their computer wouldn’t let him order the Lupron because it was out of stock in the system. He said that sometimes they have it and it doesn’t show up, but there’s no way to find that out until tomorrow. He also said that with the big bucks type prescriptions that they can overnight the drug directly from the manufacturer to the pharmacy a lot of times. Again, there’s no way to find out about that until tomorrow. So, I’ll either get a call tomorrow telling me that my Lupron will be ready to pick up on Tuesday or that they can’t get it. I’ll then have to transfer my prescription somewhere else in hope of getting my Lupron by Tuesday. Ugh.

I’m also getting frustrated with IVFMeds about my stims order. I placed my order last Friday and expected it to ship out mid week. Their website says that they ship orders within 24 hours of receiving the Rx, but I figured with the New Year holiday that it would take a few extra days. When my order hadn’t shipped by Wednesday, I emailed their customer service. I received a reply within 5 minutes (impressive) that stated that my order would ship on Friday. Well, it didn’t. I emailed them again yesterday. I guess they don’t check their email on the weekends, however, because I have yet to receive a reply. I even called them but got a message saying that no one was available to take my call. I guess they just close up shop for the weekends. Hopefully that whole situation will be resolved tomorrow, too.

What’s really been bothering me, though, is my constant need to dwell on my wonky cervix and the resulting less than stellar transfers. I’m worried that our game plan (anesthesia for transfer and dilating my cervix) is not the best idea. I really should stop scouring Google and PubMed for info on difficult transfers, the use of dilation, etc. It’s driving me crazy, because half of the studies say that difficult transfers, including transfers in which dilation is utilized, result in a significant decrease in success rates while the other half of the studies state that there is no real difference in success rates between easy and difficult transfers.

I’m having a real problem trusting my doctor. It’s not that I don’t think she’s a good RE, but I would be questioning any doctor right now. I really wish I could just have faith that she is doing what’s best for my situation, but I can’t. I couldn’t with any doctor. It’s just hard to know whether or not this whole transfer situation is responsible for my failed IVFs. No one really knows and that DRIVES ME CRAZY. I need an answer damn it, and no one can give that to me. I just want someone to tell me to do A, B, and C and then it will work. The not knowing is so frustrating.

Sometimes this stuff isn’t hard to deal with, but sometimes it just piles up and causes my stress level to skyrocket. Uncertainty and I don’t get along very well, but since that’s what IVF is all about, I guess I’m just going to have to get used to it.

Comments»

1. Julianna - January 9, 2005

Hi Amanda,

I so understand. For IVF#2, my RX came as expected with a nice note that Lupron was out of stock until 2 weeks later and I was supposed to start stimming the next day! Thank goodness for a pharmacy near Stanford that my husband drove to(2 hours away) that had it in stock.

I too keep re-thinking what went wrong with my IVF#2, IVF#1 I attributed to rescue ICSI, but IVF#2 failing has me wondering, ….. should I have had 3 day transfers instead of taking it to blasts? …… should I have stayed in bedrest longer?……. the cramps that woke me up in the middle of the night?..was that a blastocyst trying to implant and my uterus refused to cooperate???? It can drive one crazy.

I am so very hopeful for you Amanda. I am very thankful that you are using anesthesia for your transfers, the other option is unbearable.

Fingers crossed for you.

2. Galloping Cats - January 9, 2005

One of the hardest things about this is the burden of having to make decisions based on mixed information. For me, it’s as simple as some drs saying baby aspirin may reduce risk of miscarriage and another saying it may increase it. I took it last time and miscarried so am thinking next time I’ll try it the other way around. All of this to say… am sympathetic to your dilemma and sorry for the stress. I wish you the best of luck getting through it and in getting your meds.