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parenthood after dealing with male factor infertility and multiple IVF cycles

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Random Utterings January 13, 2005

I thought I’d respond to a few comments/questions that have been posed in my comments section lately.

When I was dealing with the walking to the pharmacy situation, a couple people mentioned getting a ride from a friend. First of all, I really don’t mind walking aside from the knee situation. We live smack dab in the middle of Houston, and there are a ton of things close to our apartment. To the point, though. I don’t have any friends in Houston. Yes, we’ve lived here for over a year and a half, but I don’t have any real friends. There are a couple of people I went to high school with who live here now, but it’s not like I’d ever call them up. Plus, Houston is so freaking big that even if I did have real friends that lived here, I wouldn’t ask them to drive 45 minutes each way to drive me 5 minutes to a pharmacy. Hell, I wouldn’t even ask my husband to do that. Driving is just such a pain here.

Back to the friend issue. I guess some people would find me pathetic for not having friends here, but I don’t view it that way at all. Actually, most of the time I quite prefer it that way. I’m very much a homebody/loner. I’d much prefer to stay in with my hubby than go out with a bunch of people any day. It’s not like we never do stuff with other people, but this is what works.

I don’t have many chances to meet people here. It’s not like I’m going to start up a conversation with some random person at the grocery store or something. I’m not working now, so that whole coworker friendship thing is out. I really haven’t taken a liking to most of the spouses of my husband’s coworkers. A lot of them are lawyers, too, and while I can deal with my husband speaking legalese every now and then, I cannot handle a bunch of people yacking on and on about the law.

The reality is that I do have friends. They just happen to live all over the country, and world for that matter. The women I have met through infertility blogs and message boards have been just as good, if not better, friends to me than the “real life” friends I’ve had in the past.

Enough about that. I’d like to throw a few things out there about my knees. Yes, they are bad. Yes, I do not have nearly enough cartilage in them. Yes, it’s a life long thing, but you know what? It’s truly not a big deal to me. This is just part of my life. I’ve dealt with my knees like this for over five years now, so it’s really not that big of a deal. Sure, I can’t do some things that I would like to do. Sure, my husband literally has to carry me from point A to B when things get really bad, but it’s all worth it. It was worth it to me to be able to spend those 18 years dancing. Give me a pair of pointe shoes, a stage, and some music, and I’m a happy camper. It just doesn’t get much better than that in my mind. The truth is that they’re not always so bad. I’ve been taking glucosamine chondroitin for quite a while, and that helps tremendously. The thing is that I don’t take it while cycling on the 0.5% chance that this IVF business could actually work. It hasn’t been tested for use during pregnancy, and I’m not about to take any chances. So, now that I haven’t been taking my magic pills for a while, my knees have gone back to being really bad. It’s ok, though. It really is. The physical pain is nothing compared with the emotional roller coaster of this IVF ride.

Amy asked how I was feeling. Thanks for asking, Amy. Surprisingly, I’m feeling pretty good. The Lupron is making me really tired, but that’s just fine. I’m a fan of sleeping, so it’s all good. I give the evil side effects 24-48 hours, though. I know I’m not lucky enough to skip them altogether. I’m actually feeling good emotionally, too. It’s not like I’m excited to be doing IVF again or that I have high hopes for this cycle. In fact, I have zero expectations this time around. Absolutely none, but it helps my spirits to actually be doing something.

And now on to a topic that has nothing to do with anything in my comments section. I mentioned the other day that I had gotten the tracking number email for my IVFMeds order. Well, the latest update on the tracking page is from yesterday morning when my meds shipped out of England. A little strange, but I guess it could take a while to update. The thing is that last night I was flipping through the channels and stopped on the local news right when they were doing a story about a plane that flew from London to JFK yesterday that had to turn right around without unloading due to the fact that someone on the plane was listed on one of the terrorist watch lists. I immediately mentioned to my husband that it would be my luck if my meds were on that plane. Now, I have no idea if those type of packages are even shipped on commercial planes, but it was a funny thought nonetheless. The point to all of this is that I’m paranoid. I guess I think if something can go wrong, it probably will. I’m sure my meds will arrive safely any day now, but it would be just my luck to have that happen.

So, I guess this has been the most hodgepodge post ever, but it’s what was on my mind. I’m sure I’ll have more interesting things to blog about once this cycle starts going full force.

• Posted in : IVF Part 3: IVF #2, various other ramblings
• Author : amanda

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