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What’s My Deal? February 11, 2005

Unfortunately I know the answer to that question. I’m just one big hormonal mess these days, but what’s a girl to do. I swear, I really need to get a grip on this crying thing. It’s getting old fast.

I’m feeling a little better than I have been, but it’s tough. This progesterone stuff is kicking my butt. Not quite as literally as my past cycles (I can still sleep on my side and walk around without wincing) but I’m sooooo tired. Thank goodness I can sleep in or take a nap when need be. I just don’t know how working gals survive. I think I’d be falling asleep on the job if I had to work right now.

I’m also a pretty cranky thing. I’m letting anything and everything get to me. Last night my husband and I wrote our thank you note to his grandparents, and it literally took me 30 minutes and 3 different notecards to finish my part. I had even typed out what I had wanted to say on the computer so I could just copy it, and it still gave me fits. At one point I almost just printed out my Word document and just glued that sucker to the notecard. I finally managed to get the darn thing finished, but man, I was definitely having words with the notecard at that point. I guess I really should type less and write more, so this doesn’t happen so often in the future. I doubt that’s going to happen, though.

I’ve also been having fights with my brain lately. It keeps going into “what if” mode, and I will have none of it. I don’t mind if it starts thinking along the lines of “what if this doesn’t work yet again?” It’s ok to go there, but what I cannot handle is when the darn thing starts in with “what if this actually does work?” I just have to put my foot down there. It’s being a very stubborn thing, though, my brain.

I’m trying hard to stay neutral. I can’t help but get nervous, though. I’m also trying hard not to totally lose it, but I’m pretty sure my husband would say that I’m not doing too well with that either. I know I’m going to make it through this darn 2ww, but it’s going to be one hell of a long week until my beta.

Comments»

1. Sheri - February 11, 2005

Thinking of you.

2. Brenda Sumner - February 11, 2005

I feel your pain… I slept until 2PM today… after going to bed at midnight last night. good lord I feel so damn lazy
. I’m not doing PIO.. rather I’m going 200mg promentrium suppositories 4 times a day.. so i’m getting 800 mg. It’s completely wiped me out!!!

Hang in there…

Brenda

3. Brenda Sumner - February 11, 2005

And why is it everytime I shove one of those damn things in there… I start sneezing!!!??? LOL

4. Joanne - February 11, 2005

Hate the two week wait. I wish I could speed it along for you.

5. Karen - February 11, 2005

Yeah. You’ve described the two week wait perfectly. It sucks.

I’m so hoping that this works out for you, sweetcakes.

Karen/Naked ovary

6. amyesq - February 11, 2005

You know you are having a sucky hormonal day when you can’t even get along with yourself. I am thinking of you.

7. Anonymous - February 12, 2005

Hugs honey - progesterone bloooowws.

I have arthritis and always type notes that are more than a few sentances long - esp for older people, it’s easier for them to read. I just put that in the note - excuse the typing but I have arthritis… yada yada

Thinking of you.

8. NSR - February 12, 2005

Thinking of you, Amanda. Hang in there!