Complete Meltdown Mode February 17, 2005
I’m losing it. These HPT’s are completely fucking with my head. Why do I continue to torture myself? I guess once you get on a runaway train it’s not so easy just to hop off.
I took another FRED first thing this morning. I got a very, very faint second line. It’s like a shadow of where a second line should be. When I compared it to the FRED from yesterday morning it looked a lot lighter, but now that it’s dried it looks just a little lighter. I just took another Answer and got the damn shadow line again. What the fuck? I just don’t know what it means.
I’ve been told by many people that the trigger should be totally out of my system by now. It’s been 16+ days, so it really should. I just don’t know what to think of the shadow lines. One second I’m sure that this is over and the next I’m wondering if it’s not. Torture.
The waiting sucked, but this sucks even more. I go in for my beta tomorrow morning and should get the results about 24 hours from now. What a long 24 hours it’s going to be. I feel like such a freak right now. My emotions are out of control. I hate not being in control. I’m definitely ready to get this shadow line situation resolved once and for all. Bring on the beta.
- Posted in : IVF Part 3: IVF #2
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Damn. It is torture. Hang in there.
Thinking of you.
I swear… you and me.. same person. Same thing happened to me this morning. I give up on testing until Sunday… only because it’s driving me crazy.
My beta has been MOVED to tuesday because monday is apparently a holiday. Lovely.. more waiting.
I’ll be crossing everything I can for you tomorrow and hitting refresh about every 20 seconds.
What an awful wait but I’m hoping good things for you.
I thought this thing was NEVER going to let me in to comment! Anyway, now that I’m here: I can’t even believe the damn hpts are putting you through all this. Frustrating doesn’t even begin to cover it. Crossing everything for you, over and over again, until you have some solid beta results tomorrow.
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.
BTW, blogger is making it almost impossible to post comments, glad I finally got through.
I hope you can rest tonight.
Good luck tomorrow.
Hang in there Amanda. I will be thinking of you tomorrow!
Nina
HPTs are hell, there is no doubt about it. So much they CAN’T tell you. Thinking of you Amanda.
FREDs have never steered me wrong (like my RE’s nurse said, it’s more likely to be a true positive than a false one) but I’m sorry they’re giving you some troubles. I know the waiting is hard but beta day is almost here. And I’m sending so many positive vibes your way for a BFP when the call comes!
Thinking of you and hoping.
Amanda, I am pretty sure that it is a true positive for you. Good luck and let us know asap before I get cramp from too many things crossed!!
Oh my gosh I can finally post a comment! I have been trying for three days and it keeps timing me out. ANYWAY.. I am so thinking of you today. Please let us know as soon as you can!!!