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I’ve Got Nothing May 3, 2005

Seriously, I’m just a big ball of blah. I don’t know if it’s because I’m doing pretty well at keeping numb about this cycle or because I’m doped up on Estrace. I’m definitely feeling like crap while all of these hormones are pumping through my body. I’m guessing I’ll feel more of something or at least have something of semi importance to report after my ultrasound tomorrow.

I just don’t feel as invested in this cycle. I guess that’s because I was never really sure if this cycle would make it to transfer. Still don’t of course. Plus, I just have no hope of it working. I mean, why on earth would it? I see no reason to believe that a transfer of slow poke, not so great quality embryos would work when our other three cycles with beautiful embryos didn’t. That’s assuming they even survive the thaw which I’m definitely not assuming.

I can’t help but feel blah when thinking about thin linings, slow poke embryos, and having no chance at all. So, I’m just gonna curl up in my blanket on the couch and wait for tomorrow to get here.

Comments»

1. jen/vintageuterus - May 3, 2005

Fuck. I’m sorry.
Estrace and me never got along either.

2. ms pickled eggs - May 3, 2005

I hope you’re wrong about this cycle, I really do. Thinking of you tomorrow & good luck.

PS. Tell me to bugger off with my assvice, but have you tried viagra to thicken your lining? Not sure if it’s used for that in the US, but they do use it over here.

3. amanda - May 3, 2005

Ms pickled eggs- No need to tell you to bugger off. Some RE’s do use Viagra for linings here, too. Unfortunately, my RE is not an outside the box type thinker. I even had to convince her to up my Estrace. Ugh. One more reason why I’ll be moving on after this FET. I’m sure I’ll be looking into ways besides Estrace to thicken my lining for next time if I get cancelled tomorrow.

4. Danae - May 4, 2005

We all know that thinking positive thoughts (or negative thoughts, for that matter) neither help nor hurt a cycle. It just is what it is. Do what you need to do to get through each day - and if that means being wrapped up in your blanket on the couch, then so be it! But for God’s sake, make sure the cookies are within reach!

Thinking of you, Amanda.

5. ankaisa - May 4, 2005

I know it is hard to think it might work. It exposes you to being hurt if it doesn’t. And the hormones are not helping it! But I’ll hope you get to transfer!