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Warning: I’m in a Bitchy Mood May 4, 2005

I mean seriously. I hate this IVF shit so much. I hate when it fucks with me, and I hate it even more when it fucks with my friends. One of my good IF friends who I met online and then actually had the pleasure of meeting in person and who I’ve cycled with time and time again got another damn BFN today after she had seen a faint line on a HPT this morning. And my dear friend Julianna is currently getting tortured with low betas. I hate the universe for not leaving my friends alone.

If it that wasn’t enough, things didn’t go as well as I had hoped at my appointment today. They never do, do they? My RE measured my lining a bunch of times, and it ranged from 7.2-7.9mm. Not great, but at least it was a pretty triple stripe. So she basically left it up to me. Cancel and try again with my next cycle or schedule the ET. My RE likes to see linings measure at least 8, but she’s seen pregnancies with linings as thin as 5.

We’ve decided that as long as my blood work comes back ok (should hear about that a little later) that we’re going to go ahead with the FET. It’s not like I have any hope anyway, so what’s a little thin lining added to the equation. I’m just tired and ready to get it over with. So, if my blood work comes back ok and we have any embryos survive the thaw my ET will be Monday at 9:30. I’m really not sure if this is the right decision, but I would hate to start all over again and not get a better lining and end up wasting a month. Or worse yet start all over again and then not have any embryos survive the thaw.

I’m just in a shitty mood now. My friends are hurting, my cycle is not going well, I’m totally hormonal, and my keyboard is possessed for some reason or another and the cursor is going berserk turning a simple posting experience into a nightmare.

There was one saving grace for me today, though. I got to meet a fellow Houstonian IFer who I met through my blog for lunch today. She was great, and it was so nice to be able to sit and talk about all of this IVF crap with a real live person, one who really gets it. So, thanks Jen. Thanks for keeping my day from being a total disaster.

Comments»

1. Suz - May 4, 2005

I know how those shitty moods can take over and I’m sorry. I’ve been in a pretty foul, negative one myself. I hope that your mood improves and that the retrieval goes well.

2. Lisa - May 4, 2005

IVF can suck so bad it’s unbelievable. The lows are really low. Sorry the lining isn’t what you’d want it to be…

3. Jenn - May 4, 2005

I’m sorry everything is such a mess. I probably would have made the same decision you did about the cycle though.

4. Staci - May 5, 2005

Hi,

I discovered your site recently. Basically, I am dealing with the same scenario … male factor infertility, failed IVF, cancelled FET, failed FET…
It’s really helped to follow someone else going through the same stuff.

I swore I’d never go through it again but, insanity has taken hold and, here I am, planning another IVF.

Anyway, sorry things are looking down at the moment. I think you’re doing the right thing. If it makes you feel any better, I had a lining of 8.5 without the triple line pattern and my RE never even suggested cancelling the cycle (I realize this would be a more inspiring story had I gotten a positive result but your situation looks better so here’s hoping for some luck for you this time around….)

5. Tibbie - January 18, 2012

Tip top stuff. I’ll excpet more now.