A Visit From a Long Lost Friend May 5, 2005
I have this friend, and let’s put it this way, we have a history together. We haven’t seen each other in a while, though. Yesterday said friend and I got reacquainted. He even came over last night for a booty call. Oh, yes he did. And guess what? My husband even got in on the action.
Yep, my good friend PIO and I are two peas in a pod once again. God, I missed him so much.
Obviously, we’re going ahead with this FET. I got my blood work back yesterday, and it looked good. My P4 was 0.3, so that was good, and my E2 was 2044. Holy shit! That’s quite an E2 for a FET cycle. I guess we can rule out a low E2 as the cause of this thin lining situation.
So, if any of our embryos survive the thaw my transfer will be Monday at 9:30. I’m definitely ready to get this cycle over with.
Warning: I’m in a Bitchy Mood May 4, 2005
I mean seriously. I hate this IVF shit so much. I hate when it fucks with me, and I hate it even more when it fucks with my friends. One of my good IF friends who I met online and then actually had the pleasure of meeting in person and who I’ve cycled with time and time again got another damn BFN today after she had seen a faint line on a HPT this morning. And my dear friend Julianna is currently getting tortured with low betas. I hate the universe for not leaving my friends alone.
If it that wasn’t enough, things didn’t go as well as I had hoped at my appointment today. They never do, do they? My RE measured my lining a bunch of times, and it ranged from 7.2-7.9mm. Not great, but at least it was a pretty triple stripe. So she basically left it up to me. Cancel and try again with my next cycle or schedule the ET. My RE likes to see linings measure at least 8, but she’s seen pregnancies with linings as thin as 5.
We’ve decided that as long as my blood work comes back ok (should hear about that a little later) that we’re going to go ahead with the FET. It’s not like I have any hope anyway, so what’s a little thin lining added to the equation. I’m just tired and ready to get it over with. So, if my blood work comes back ok and we have any embryos survive the thaw my ET will be Monday at 9:30. I’m really not sure if this is the right decision, but I would hate to start all over again and not get a better lining and end up wasting a month. Or worse yet start all over again and then not have any embryos survive the thaw.
I’m just in a shitty mood now. My friends are hurting, my cycle is not going well, I’m totally hormonal, and my keyboard is possessed for some reason or another and the cursor is going berserk turning a simple posting experience into a nightmare.
There was one saving grace for me today, though. I got to meet a fellow Houstonian IFer who I met through my blog for lunch today. She was great, and it was so nice to be able to sit and talk about all of this IVF crap with a real live person, one who really gets it. So, thanks Jen. Thanks for keeping my day from being a total disaster.
I’ve Got Nothing May 3, 2005
Seriously, I’m just a big ball of blah. I don’t know if it’s because I’m doing pretty well at keeping numb about this cycle or because I’m doped up on Estrace. I’m definitely feeling like crap while all of these hormones are pumping through my body. I’m guessing I’ll feel more of something or at least have something of semi importance to report after my ultrasound tomorrow.
I just don’t feel as invested in this cycle. I guess that’s because I was never really sure if this cycle would make it to transfer. Still don’t of course. Plus, I just have no hope of it working. I mean, why on earth would it? I see no reason to believe that a transfer of slow poke, not so great quality embryos would work when our other three cycles with beautiful embryos didn’t. That’s assuming they even survive the thaw which I’m definitely not assuming.
I can’t help but feel blah when thinking about thin linings, slow poke embryos, and having no chance at all. So, I’m just gonna curl up in my blanket on the couch and wait for tomorrow to get here.
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