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Getting My Fix June 27, 2005

I get to start shooting up once again tonight. I feel like a junkie who’s in need of a major fix.

It’s so funny to me to think back to when we were gearing up for our first cycle. I was really quite scared of the whole injection thing. I was also scared that my husband was going to pass out during the first one. Of course he didn’t, and after all the practice, he’s now quite a pro.

Obviously I’m no longer scared of the injections. I think I got past that after the first one. Now it’s pretty much the opposite. In fact, I think I’m addicted to them. I mean, I actually miss them when I’m in between cycles.

I’m addicted because shooting up feels like doing something. I’m actively doing something when I’m jabbing myself with a needle. For us, trying to conceive will always involve syringes and needles, so when I’m not shooting up, we’re not trying to conceive. I don’t like breaks, and I don’t like to not be actively pursuing this stuff. So, I guess it’s not so strange that I dislike being injection free.

Of course, I’m not looking forward to the lovely Lupron side effects. They seem to come earlier and earlier each cycle, so I’m betting on three days of Lupron before they hit. It will be worth it, though. Not because I think that if I go through all of this I’ll end up pregnant. No, it’s worth it because I’ll be doing something.

Comments»

1. Lisa - June 27, 2005

Doing something always helps my mental state too. Spinning your wheels is frustrating…at least if you’re injecting you’re trying.

2. Suz - June 27, 2005

I know how you feel; it’s the same for us. If we aren’t doing ART, we’re not trying. In some ways, though, it’s a relief not to have to wonder every month.

3. Jenn - June 27, 2005

I feel the same way about DOING something. But I still hate the shots. I don’t know how I’ll make it to the fall without cycling.

4. MM - June 27, 2005

I hear you. I can’t WAIT to start stabbing my stomach with needles again, as sick as that sounds. Happy shooting up!

5. T - June 27, 2005

Oh Amen, sister. I love shots - they’re anticlimactic at this point though!

6. Angela - June 27, 2005

Lupron is horrid. I cannot imagine taking it in the weather we are having here (high 90s and humid).

I’m glad you’re okay…uhm…happy…uhm…oh, you know what I mean!