Is It That Obvious? July 28, 2005
I went to the post office today, and the first thing the postal worker lady asked me after she asked what she could help me with was “Why are you so nervous?” Then she went on to tell me I needed to take a deep breath.
I stammered some excuse. It’s not like I could really explain the gravity of our current situation. But really, do I need a postal worker to jump in on the “just relax” bandwagon? And did someone who’s going to throw that BS at me even deserve a response?
Yeah, I’m stressed out. Really stressed out. There’s not a damn thing I can do about it, though. Sure I can take some deep breaths or think happy thoughts or whatever, but it’s not going to change a thing.
It’s bad enough that I’m sitting here in the 2ww of what looks to be our final IVF. No, I’ve got this moving crap to add on top of that. Oh, how I hate moving.
I don’t do well with change. Not one bit. Plus, there’s just so much crap to deal with. I’m sure it would be better if I could just chill out a bit, but I don’t see it happening. There’s just too much going on right now.
I’m sure it will feel really nice to have all of this over and done with, though. That is, unless a get a big fat negative beta again. Then I’ll get to deal with trying to get settled into a new home in a new city while dealing with the aftermath of a failed cycle. That sounds like fun.
Man, am I grumpy. Isn’t the 2ww the best?
- Posted in : IVF Part 5: IVF #3
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Fuck the damn postal worker. Seriously.
I am so sorry you are stressed, but definitely understand why you are. We are in the whole crossroads/moving thing and it just bites.
Thinking of you.
Oh Hon, I don’t know what youre truly feeling, but my heart goes out to you. You have a ton of shit going on right now. Please know that there are alot of us out here pulling for you!
I hate change and uncertainty, too! I’ve never been able to deal with it, especially that of the 2ww. I hope that all goes well.
The 2ww is cruel. I hate it, therefore I am just going to expect my period this month. Good luck with everything. I’m really praying for a positive for ya!
What a bitch (the postal worker, not you). It’s such a cliche but when it rains, it really does pour. Hope these two big events in your life turn out better than you possibly could have imagined.
The first 2 weeks of a cycle, there is so much to manage: doctor’s appointments, lab tests, injecting medications, timing all semen release just right. I think the hardest part about the 2ww is not having anything to do! Just sitting and waiting. A bitch if you have control issues like me. Thank God and my RE for prescribing progesterone suppositories. At least twice daily I can feel like there is something for me to control.
I also hate change….am like a cat in that respect! Moving is a major pain as it is without being in the middle of a cycle on top of it so I can see why you would be stressed. Who wouldn’t be?! Just try to take things day by day…..
The 2ww sucks like nothing on earth does, no question. Only a few more days. And no, I won’t tell you to relax.
I’m sorry Amanda – are you doing anything nice for yourself before IL’s arrive?
Amanda,
Boy what a tough time for you. I hate moving to. The one thing that I’ve found therapeutic when moving, though, is getting rid of stuff. Clothes that I don’t wear any more, books that I’m done with (amazingly enough there are some of those), old paperwork, things I was saving because they might come in handy some day. It’s quite a release to get rid of it all. Any chance that might be a distraction for you?
Thinking of you.
T- Nope. I guess I should, but I haven’t planned anything.
Thalia- Thanks. I like getting rid of stuff, too. I managed to do all of that before starting stims, though.