Symptom Insanity August 25, 2005
I’m an obsessor by nature, so it’s no surprise that I’m in major obsessing mode right now. My focus for the day is symptoms: lack of symptoms, lessening of symptoms, etc. Here’s the recap.
Exhaustion: Gone. I am no longer crashing during the day or needing a nap.
Sick/nauseous feeling: Gone. I don’t wake up feeling sick or end up feeling nauseous if I don’t eat enough.
Boobs: Still sore but not nearly as much as before. I can actually touch them without wincing.
Pg brain: Gone. I’m thinking pretty clearly these days even if it is about stuff like this.
Obviously this isn’t a good thing. It’s either my head fucking with me, my body deciding to do something funky, or it’s a bad sign. Who the hell knows.
I know a lot of people say that symptoms tend to wax and wane anyway. That’s all fine and good unless you’re dealing with a situation that you know has a good chance of not ending well. I mean just google “loss of pregnancy symptoms” and you’ll find a bigillion sites on miscarriage.
I really don’t know if this means anything, but I’m scared that it does. The only symptom I had early on was sore boobs, so it would make sense that I still have that even if my levels have dropped. The other stuff I didn’t get until later on, so it would make sense that those would be the first to go if my levels started to go the wrong way.
I know I shouldn’t be obsessing about this stuff, but I just can’t help it. What else am I supposed to do right now? There just no such thing as a distraction from this stuff.
- Posted in : IVF Part 5: IVF #3
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Oh Amanda I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. Maybe ask your doctor to check your bloodwork every other day until your u/s? Maybe it’ll give some reassurance?
*hugs*
I’m hoping that maybe your symptoms are leveling off because you’re going to start new ones. Some people make it through the 1st. tri. with no symptoms. I know it sounds like I’m grasping, but I’m just trying to help you be hopeful.
I am so sorry for all the stress you are going through. My thoughts are with you and I hope things work out.
Well, I’ll offer this little bit, I had horrid symptoms and then none with my son which coincided with spotting. So I know what you mean about terror.
You never know what can happen. I know it doesn’t help. I too googled “loss of pregnancy symptoms” with “spotting” and yes it ALL looks bad. I’d like to say that my son is still here. Even though I have a LPD and I had no supplements and everything else.
Granted it doesn’t happen often, but I’m hoping you can look back at this next week and say, “how odd.” I really really am.
I’m not trying to get your hopes up, I can’t know how hard this is for you, but with 2 miscarriages “under my belt” I can commiserate at least a little with the fears.
I am so sorry to hear about your stress, too, but can totally relate. You are NOT alone. I spend many blog posts on Babyfruit going through a moment by moment analysis of the symptoms that are there, not there, there again.
I have found, however, that my instincts for being pregnant and being about to miscarry have been honed after 4 miscarriages and 1 chemical pregnancy. At this point, I’m always right, for better or for worse, and my doctors continue to be amazed at how sensitive to symptoms and symptom loss I am.
Trust your body to know what to do and just let go. Easier said than done, but finding peace during these moments of the unknown is the best thing you can do for yourself. Take care and stop by Babyfruit if you want reassurance that your symptom check is not insanity!
Like you, I obsess constantly too over symptoms in some attempt to find something that will tell me what’s going on inside. Not knowing is excruciating and I can’t tell you how sad I am that you are going through this.
I know all those google hits will say that hon. But that doesn’t make it true for you. There is always an exception to the rule. Still thinking about you.
All I’ll say is that my symptoms went away, too. I kept poking at my boobs to see if they were sore. I never had to pee a lot (still don’t). Having symptoms or not is pretty meaningless but I understand the need to analyze. I’m sorry you had such scary results the other day and I know how far away Tuesday must seem. I’m really rooting for you.
My first time around with this, my husband said to me one day “please do me a favor and stop doing research online about this”. I told him I couldn’t - being informed was how I could keep busy, even if it was freaking me out a little (a lot!). In this business, I don’t believe ignorance is bliss. But that’s just me.
Oh Manana, I’m so sorry you are going through this. This is NOT what you need. I wish they could at least tet your levels and make sure they are still rising. Looking back over my notes, they can still be testing your HCG to make sure the numbers are ok. HCG doesn’t start to level off until around 8-9 weeks (say my notes). Could you ask for one?
on a different note i’m obsessively checking your blog! ok I promise not to hit refresh every hour on the hour just in case theres an update, I’ll restrict myself to twice per 12 hour block. but man are your stats going to look good this month.
Amanda, I’ve got nothing helpful to say. I’m thinking about you a great deal and trying to support you through reading (often on the blackberry which is why no comments, they’re really hard to do that way). I can only imagine how stressful and awful this is. My only recommendation is crappy TV and chick flicks, and icecream.
I’m sorry about the torture - it’s pure hell. I wonder if another beta today might help or hurt?