At an Impasse No Longer September 29, 2005
All of this hurricane stuff has taken the focus off of our infertility crap a bit. I haven’t been thinking about it as much (oh, I’m still thinking about it, just not 24/7) and I don’t think I’ve been talking about it as much. I’ve even been keeping some important happenings on the down low.
A couple of days before Rita hit, my husband and I had a conversation in which he revealed that he was no longer thinking in the “I’m done” mindset. He told me that he wasn’t sure what road he thought we should take from here on out, but that he wasn’t giving up.
Giving him time to deal with all of this shit was just what he needed. He told me that just because we deal with things differently, it doesn’t mean that we aren’t on the same page. It was hard to see that while we were in the immediate aftermath of the miscarriage, but it’s true. We both still want to have a child. We are both definitely on that same page.
We haven’t made any definite decisions about doing another IVF cycle, but the lines of communication are wide open. Even though we have been through so much shit and faced disappointment after disappointment, there are still possibilities worth exploring. We are not done fighting. Maybe we’re determined, maybe we’re just hard headed, but we are not going to let this infertility crap win.
- Posted in : Limboland: the aftermath of IVF Part 5
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Hooray for your husband! And hoorah for you too for knowing how to manage through that situation. I’m very very pleased you guys are on the same page again (although v frustrated that you’re still not 0 on the beta. That must be v frustrating, and tiring).
So glad to hear that the two of you are on the same page again.
The weeks following each miscarriage were really hard, and a lot was because of that. We just deal with things differently.
Thrilled to hear you two aren’t giving up.
That’s great Amanda. Really pleased for you.
Great news Amanda. I’m so glad your husband had the time to rethink things..
Onward and upward as they say!
i’ve been thinking about this a lot, believe it or not. and am so relieved to hear you guys are on the same page.
That’s wonderful news, indeed.
I’m so glad to hear it! As, I’m sure, are you.
Good news Amanda. It’s tuff sometimes to be on the same page when all hell is breaking loose.
Being on the same page is so important, even if that page says to wait a bit before making any big decisions. It is so much easier to face this stuff together.
Excellent news Amanda. Glad to hear the lines of communication are open and discussion is being had.
GREAT. I am so glad. You handled this really well, Amanda.
Amanda, that’s wonderful news. I’m so relieved for you!
Amanda, I’m so glad. It is tough dealing with a miscarriage — I know my husband and I always grieved for ours very differently — and I’m glad you two are still feeling like you’re in it together.
I have a question. Feel free to ignore it. I was wondering how you think the male factor infertility affects your husband on this. I am asking because that is a major issue in my marriage and I have not seen any blogs that talk about it.
Anyway, I am glad that it sounds like you two are saying the right things to eahc other. My husband and I were able to move onto adoption, but it was not an easy journey. But when we did it felt so good to be doing something that we knew would actually result in a child.
Yay for same page – love that news! Time is such a crazy thing isn’t it – a little seems like a lot sometimes and yet it is actually what you need even though the wait is horrific to live through.
Don’t give up, sweetie.
I’m so glad for you, Amanda.
lovely I can just imagine how happy you are to know there’s “something” going to happen at some point, hell I’m smiling for you, so very thrilled for you Amanda your post has made my night! woohoo the banana is back!
So glad to hear that! Keep us posted.
Call it whatever you like – will power, stubborn, determined – it’s great that you have it in you to make this decision. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know where you are going. You have the strength behind it to get there.