Ready to Get Back on the Horse November 13, 2005
I’ve been very anti IVF lately. I guess that the whole miscarriage/death of a pet double whammy thing will do that to ya. Taking a break was not only a good idea, it was essential.
Throughout this break I’ve been waffling on the whole IVF thing. I guess that’s pretty natural considering. It’s hard enough to decide to do IVF in the first place. Going through five attempts with nothing to show for it makes that decision even harder. I mean, I am sick of many aspects of IVF: feeling like a guinea pig, handing over thousands and thousands of dollars, getting my heart stomped on over and over. You know, none of that is much fun.
I’ve felt my outlook on IVF change the past few days, though. I’m ready now. I’m ready to go through it all one more time. I’m not exactly looking forward to going through all of the total bull shit that accompanies an IVF cycle, but I want another shot.
It’s really hard for me to sit here and know that my body is ovulating and doing all that good stuff while knowing that there’s absolutely no chance of me getting pregnant right now. Sometimes I consider that a good thing, because I don’t get my hopes up on natural cycle. But most of the time it’s a bad thing, because I have no reason to get my hopes up.
I want to do another IVF cycle, because I want that chance. I don’t expect to finally put the rabbit out of the hat, but I want to be able to at least try.
I still have over a month before I’ll be starting birth control pills for this next cycle, so I have more of a wait to get through. I’m ok with that. It just feels good knowing that I’ll be ready when the time comes.
- Posted in : Limboland: the aftermath of IVF Part 5
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I hope your chance will be here before you know it.
I’m glad you’re feeling like you’re ready to go again. Good luck.
I hope your wait goes by very quickly.
Very best of luck to you.
So glad you are working through all your emotions over your next attempt. Its hard to go back into treatments from a break. I hope the wait goes by super fast!
How weird is it that almost all of our IVFs have been at the same time? I, too, am so needing this break.
It is just too overwhelming sometimes.
You are awesome and I am so very proud of you and I wish you weren’t here, with me, cycling again.
All my love,
What great news! So glad to hear it.
Amanda, I am waiting right alongside you. Wanna play cards??
Glad you’ve settled on a plan that feels right, Amanda. And I’m glad this break has been good for you. We do need to give ourselves time to heal after major blows, and you’ve had your share lately.
It’s great that you had a good trip to Houston.
I’m glad you’re getting that chance, and that you’re ready for it. Hope the break continues to be what you need.