I’ve Got Ants in My Pants December 8, 2005
Now that I’ve gotten the green light to cycle again, I’m getting antsy about actually starting. I don’t want to sit around and play the “I wonder when my period will finally show” game. I just want to get the ball rolling.
I think going through this IVF stuff has taught me some patience, but given the fact that I was the most impatient person on the planet before going through it all, I’m still pretty darn bad about having to wait. I don’t think the fact that I’ve had such a long break this time is helping any. I mean, my last transfer was 4.5 months ago. That’s a long freaking time to wait.
I could have started with this last period except for the fact that my clinic’s lab is shut down during the last couple of weeks of December. Not that I wanted to cycle during the holidays anyway. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a BFN. Still, I’m getting impatient.
I think it might be a little bit easier if I knew how long my current cycle was going to be. Ever since the miscarriage, things are more than a tad bit unpredictable in that department. Cycle number one after the miscarriage was 45 days. Cycle #2 was 35. I’m hoping that this one will be even shorter.
As noted, I’m ready to get started, but I am not, however, ready to be finished. I hate that this is our last chance. I hate that there’s a very good chance that things are not going to work out as planned. Well, obviously they’ve already not worked out as planned, but you know what I mean. I don’t want all of this to be for naught.
I guess now that I’ve thought about it, maybe I’m not quite as antsy as I thought. Shit. My brain is already going crazy, and I’m not even popping pills or shooting up. I’m screwed.
- Posted in : IVF Part 6: IVF #4
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I can’t imagine how eagerly you would want this to start. I hope this cycle works for you - it certainly has been a long, hard road. Thinking of you.
I so know what you mean about forced waits. It was 18 months between try #3 and try #4. Hopefully the holidays will keep you busy and 2006 will be better for you than 2005. Hey, its a new year- maybe the bad karma of 2005 will be gone and things will go right for you? That’s what I’m hoping.
Waiting sucks. Just plain old sucks, and I dare say you’ve waited long enough. I hope you can find a decent distraction.
Waiting definitely sucks! I hope it goes by quick for you!
I hate the waiting. My clinic makes us wait a long time between cycles anyway, and it just feels so hopeless.
I hope you’ll be on the road to success soon.
Hope your period doesn’t make you wait too long and shows up early for you. Good luck Amanda. Hopefully 2006 will be your year.
Ugh, I got caught in my clinic’s holiday shutdown last year. It’s no fun to have to wait the extra time when you’ve already waited so long. Hope it passes quickly for you.
We’ll be here with you through the wait and whatever comes next.
I hate the waiting. We’re on a wait hoping the pain from this last round will go away. Hoping that by avoid the Clomid, we won’t aggravate the Endo anymore. B/c honestly crawling on the floor crying begging for the pain to stop seems to disturb my husband for some reason…especially when I didn’t do that during any of my miscarriages OR when I delivered Ryan.
::sigh:: All this babbling to say waiting sucks ass. I hate the waiting. Though jumping right back in doesn’t sound so great either…
waiting along with you lovely, want to go play pin the tail on the fertile with me?
I’m right there with you. On Day 33 of my cycle and waiting to start BCP’s with no clue when AF will show up. I hate having the whole thing hanging over my head. I can’t think about anything else anyway and it’s driving me nuts so would just as soon get on with it. Why does it seem like AF is always happy to show up early when I have a vacation or something planned yet, now, I’m ready and nothing. Sigh.