It’s That Time of Year Again December 19, 2005
The holidays can be tough for infertiles. Last year totally sucked for me. I was the grinch of all grinches. I guess getting a BFN a couple weeks before Christmas can do that to ya.
This year is hard, too. I just keep thinking about how I should be spending Christmas with a pregnant belly. I might have even been opening gifts for the baby to be. (I know my mom’s been stocking up for years.) Instead, I’ll be spending yet another year wishing things had gone another way.
I’m trying hard to fight off the holiday blues. It’s hard, though. It doesn’t help that there are reminders everywhere. Today I was bombarded with a holiday wishes type commercial from a formula company. It was one of those “this holiday is extra special because it’s your first together” type of commercial showing a lady holding a cute newborn. Fuck me. Like I needed to see that.
I don’t think I’m as angry this holiday season. I think my heart’s too hurt for me to be as angry as I was last year. For me, sadness and heartbreak trumps anger.
I guess the one thing that’s keeping me from totally losing it is knowing that I’m about to cycle again. The need for another chance is tremendous. I’m glad I’m going to get it. Until then, I’ll be stuffing my face with holiday goodies and hoping that the next week or so goes by quickly.
- Posted in : IVF Part 6: IVF #4, various other ramblings
- Author : amanda
Comments»
The holidays are definitely tough.
I have to say what I consider one of the fringe benefits of my converting to Judaism when I got married is that I get to skip Christmas and it’s festivities. If we had children, of course, I would probably miss all the holiday traditions but, given our present situation, I’m perfectly happy to have justification to just ignore it all….to the best of my ability anyway.
I’m assuming you don’t want to do anything so drastic as converting to a different religion so your plan of just enjoying holiday goodies and praying time goes by quickly sounds as good as anything I could suggest. Let’s just try to look forward to the new year in the hopes that some luck will finally flow in both our directions!
The holidays are so hard.
Wishing us all a happy one and thank goodness for another chance!
Amanda,
The holidays are sooo freakin hard when your still in the trenches. I think last year was the worse for me also. I hope you are able to enjoy the season a little. I’m also glad you will have another chance. Somehow that makes things a little easier if possible!
Sorry you’re blue, but yes indeed for other chances and holiday face stuffing!
Those formula-company holiday wishes sound absolutely horrible. I’ll be keeping my head down over the next week with you.
Oh yes, how I hate this season this year. SO looking forward to disappearing away with my husband. It just isn’t a fun time for us this year. I’m so glad that your cycle is coming up, I wish that 2006 is all that 2005 wasn’t.
I’m sorry the holidays suck so much. I am really hopeful that next year will be much better than this year has been for you!
Take advantage of all the yummy treats (in moderation of course ;-) now that you’re getting into those skinny pants again - GO YOU! - you don’t want to get back OUT of them!) this season offers.
I couldn’t agree more. I haven’t even gotten a Christmas tree yet and I don’t know if I can force myself to do it at all. I’m just not feeling Christmas this year. I’ve never been been so excited that January is just around the corner. You’re right… the only thing to do is to eat our way through. Excuse me as I go devour the rest of the fudge in my freezer.
Yep, its jim-jams season again!!!
So sorry the holiday’s have you so down. It will all be done soon and you can pack it away for another year! I am a regualr visitor and just wanted to say hope you are feeling better soon!