I Want to be the Girl in the Picture Again January 2, 2006
My husband and I drove over and visited my parents this past weekend. While we were there, I took a gander at the various photos that my mom had displayed on the fridge. There was one in particular that caught my eye. It was a picture of me, Dan, my two brother in laws, and my mother in law. My father in law was obviously behind the camera. Apparently my MIL had sent the picture to my mom. I had never seen it before.
I looked at the picture and said, “Wow, I look so happy.” It’s a rare event to capture me smiling in a photograph. I hate having my picture taken and usually have a scowl of some sort on my face. Not in this photo, though. I had a big smile plastered across my face.
I was thinking about when that picture was taken. I realized that it was when my inlaws were down visiting us in Houston right before we moved in August. As I was thinking back to that time, it suddenly dawned on me why I was so happy in that picture. I was pregnant.
Yep, that photo was taken post positive beta and pre ultrasound nightmare. I just stood there and stared at myself. Man, I looked so freaking happy. And I had every right to be.
My heart ached looking at that picture, going back to that place where all was right with the world only to have it all fall apart just weeks later. It’s so hard.
I want to be that girl again. I want to have that smile on my face again. I want it so damn much.
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