What’s Worse Than a Negative Beta? February 7, 2006
That would be a beta of 7. Mother fucking 7. Just high enough so that we can’t offically close the book on this cycle yet.
Today was tough in more ways the one. The drive over and back to Houston sucked more than usual. I got stuck in some massive construction traffic both ways, but on the way over I was really stuck. The “sit there with your car in park while you watch people get out of their cars” kind of stuck. I took me an hour longer than it usually does to get over there. It would have been even longer if I hadn’t hauled ass during the second half of the drive to make up some time. So, I was there later than I was supposed to be for beta, but I didn’t really care as long as I was there in time for my appointment with my RE.
I got my blood drawn, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and then headed in to talk to my RE. You wanna know what’s weird? Getting your beta results in person. You think over the phone sucks. This was worse. The lab actually called my RE right in the middle of my follow up. You know, I was really prepared to hear that it was negative. Finding out that it was 7 threw me for a loop.
My RE didn’t really have any answers for me. I didn’t expect him to. I never expect answers during a follow up. Usually there are none to be had. He said that this should have worked for us by now.
We discussed plans for my FET. He wants me to have one natural cycle before starting the prep for the FET. Then I get to do the oh so fun and never ending medicated FET protocol including BCPs, Lupron, Vivelle patches, and PIO. With the break cycle and the length of that type of FET protocol (about 7 weeks) I won’t be able to transfer again for 3 months. That sucks so badly. I really, really wanted to get another shot before my would be due date in mid April. Not gonna happen.
All of these FET plans are assuming that this is a chemical that we’re dealing with. If it’s something nastier like an ectopic then who knows what’s going to happen with the plans.
So, after my follow up, I grabbed a FET price sheet (boy are the FETs expensive at my clinic) and headed out. To add insult to injury, I had a not so pleasant elevator experience on the way out of the hospital. I got in on floor 7 only to have it stop on floor 5 to pick up more people. In walks a woman with big round pregnant belly holding fresh off the press ultrasound pics. It took all of my power not to completely lose it right then and there. By the time I got to my car, I was bawling. Yeah, this has been a good day.
This is obviously not a situation that’s going to end well. I have to go in for a repeat beta on Thursday to see if it’s dropped down in the negative range. I’m hoping that it will because the last thing I need to deal with is beta hell or worse, some crappy ectopic situation.
I’m getting beta #2 done in town. I need to make some arrangements tomorrow to get it done at the IVF clinic here, and that always proves to be a pain in the ass. It will be better than making the drive again, though.
So, yeah. That was beta day in a nutshell. I’m freaking worn out. I’m glad days like today don’t happen everyday. I’d never make it.
- Posted in : IVF Part 6: IVF #4
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Hi Amanda. My response to today’s news: damnit…You just can’t seem to catch a break. Again, I am “due date” is March 10 and I was really hoping to be underway with another pregnancy by then. I figured it would be a great distraction…anyway, while all this planning for the transfer is being discussed - have you considered accupuncture? It didn’t do a damn thing for my cycles, but it seems to have helped others…who knows. Try to get through these next few days. I’ll be thinking of you and I hope everything just goes to zero as soon as possible.
I’m sorry for this mindfuck Amanda, so very sorry. The universe can officially kiss my big fat ass for this kind of pain it causes.
I’m so very sorry :(
Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. My first pregnancy went like that. *hugs*
You’re right- that’s worse than a negative. For me, it was the worst feeling to know that the embryos were “trying” to stick. I don’t know why I would have felt better if my body had just killed them right off the bat, but I do think I would have. Let’s hope this resolves quickly and uneventfully. I’ll be thinking of you.
Amanda, I’m so terribly sorry. The uncertainty makes it so much more unfair and painful.
Oh fuck! I am so sorry Amanda. I am so pissed at life pulling this shit.
You are in my thoughts.
Damn it. I am so very sorry.
So awful. So sorry.
I’m just awestruck at how cruel the universe can be. Thinking of you and hoping the beta resolves itself quickly.
I’m at a loss for words. That definitely ranks as a very bad day. I really wish you would catch a break….preferably soon.
Regarding your FET protocol, can your clinic be swayed on that? I ask because my old clinic used lupron for my first 3 FET attempts. Well, on the last one after reading a very convincing article about not really needing the lupron (I can find it for you if you’re interested), I was able to just do the bcps (I might not have even needed those for the protocol I was doing but took them more for scheduling reasons), followed by the patches then, of course, PIO. I think I started the patches on Day 2 or 3 of AF or something. It worked great and it was so much easier not dealing with lupron. I almost felt like I wasn’t even doing anything. I also know the clinic I’m at now doesn’t use lupron either.
Anyway, I’m sorry you have to go back for a repeat test and just hoping this whole thing doesn’t get dragged out for you. Do you have to continue PIO until Thurs.?
Thanks, guys. What would I do without you?
Staci- Yep, I have to stay on all meds until Thursday. Fun. As far as the FET protocol goes, I’ve done both a medicated FET with BCPs and Lupron (and of course Estrogen and Progesterone) and a medicated FET without (just using E2 and P4 support) in the past. I asked my RE about going without the whole Lupron thing, and he said that wasn’t a great idea for me since my lining is prone to being totally stubborn during FETs. You risk having your P4 level rise early if you need to stay on E2 longer to build a lining if you’re not using Lupron for suppression. Anyway, I tried to get away with forgoing the evil Lupron, but it didn’t work.
AAGGHH. At least the day is over, right? Thinking of you and hoping the next days improve dramatically.
Nightmare. I’m so sorry that this is dangling on, amanda. I hope that thursday will be a clean answer.
I am so sorry that this is not coming to a quick conclusion, Amanda. Thinking of you.
Holy crap - I didn’t know you got the results in person! I was so worried about you driving - UGH!
I am so sorry Amanda. I hate that this keeps happening to you.
I am so sorry.
Jeez, Amanda, couldn’t you have been spared at least THAT? I’m so freaking sorry and angry I could cry. I’m thinking of you, my dear, and praying for a resolution.
Oh, for crying out loud. The universe really owes you a break. I hope this resolves quickly for you.
I am so very sorry, Amanda.
Oh, so so sorry. I can’t even imagine such a crappy day. I hope that beta number goes down.
Oh Amanda. I am so very sorry. I’m thinking of you and hope you are doing ok. Sending you lots of love.
FUCK.
Angry and sad and sad again for you.
Oh, that blows. I am so sorry. :(