Because I Haven’t Been Tortured Enough February 9, 2006
I guess the universe decided it wasn’t done fucking with me after all. Beta was 18 this morning. Crap.
This does not mean that this is going anywhere good. It just means things are going to be dragged out even longer. A beta of 18 at 11dp5dt is shit. Plus, we really have no clue if it’s really risen much if any since my betas were done at two different labs. It’s just more torture.
I had a feeling this was going to happen. Things can’t ever be easy. I’ve come to expect that.
Despite everything, I’m still hanging in there. I don’t really know how, but I am. I guess if you live through enough dissapointment, you just get used to it. I expect the hard road, and that’s usually what I get.
I really do wish this was easier, but there’s nothing I can do to change how things have played out in the past or how things will play out in the future. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep on going.
So, what next? I have to stay on all meds (and I’m so excited about that fact) and go back for yet another beta on Monday. The hope is that it will have at least started to fall by then. I don’t want this to drag out forever. Some resolution would be a welcome change.
Thank you all for your support throughout all of this crap. I couldn’t do it without you.
- Posted in : IVF Part 6: IVF #4
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Oh Amanda. I’m so sorry for this torture.
Sending thoughts your way.
xo,
Crap Amanda- you really do seem to get the short end of the stick time after time.
I hope you get some quick resolution to this and that you work out a good strategy with your RE re: the FET.
This sucks…keep hanging in there.
unFUCKingbelievable…can you not catch a break? My heart is sore for you sweet, sweet, Amanda.
My thoughts are with you and your lovely husband.
You probably don’t want to hear this, but BrooklynGirl (http://brooklyngirl.typepad.com/) started with a very low beta as well. She may understand what you’re going through.
I’m thinking of you in this difficult time and hoping for a good outcome.
I understand completely and am so sorry this has become such a drawn out pile of crap. Low betas are the worst.
Sounds just like my last one. First beta, 7.3. Second 19.2. Well, hey! It doubled! The third was 9.9. They had me stop the progesterone at that point. A week later it was below 5. I hate the long, drawn out end.
The worst thing for me about this one was that I decided to test at home so I wouldn’t be surprised by the phone call. I tested on the morning of the beta, but didn’t look at it until after I got home from the blood draw. It was positive! I was feeling pretty good until I got the 7.3 news.
This whole thing stinks.
Oh this is going to be a long weekend. Hope you can come up with a good distraction. I’ll be thinking of you.
Hang in there, Amanda.
I am sorry about this. I hope it resolves soon so you can take some time for yourself. Tourture!
Yick, sorry you are having to go through this. Torture indeed! I’ll be thinking of you hoping things get better soon.
I’m so sorry.
Oh, Amanda. That sucks so much. I’m so sorry.
Your resilience is truly amazing Amanda – I am so sorry you have to go through this.
I’m so sorry. That really sucks.
FUCK! I hope you can pack your wknd with good food, movies and whatever else will get you through these next couple of days. Thinking of you and wishing this were easier.
Oh, damn. I was really hoping this wouldn’t happen. I have to hand it to you, you are a trooper. I’m used to things going wrong too but I’d still be complaining my head off and feeling sorry for myself….especially on the continuing PIO through the weekend part.
Just try to keep doing whatever you have been doing to stay sane for a couple more days and, hopefully, this will be resolved Mon.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!
I am so sorry Amanda. So, so sorry.
Big hugs, Amanda. I’m so v sorry you have to go through this sh*t.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
Nobody should have to go through this. I am so sorry.
This sucks and I hate that you are having to deal with this crap.
It’s torture. I’m sorry Amanda, it’s not fair.
So freakin sorry Amanda. So sorry…
Ambiguity sucks big time. So sorry. I’ll be thinking of you.
I hope you get more definite answers the next time. I really hope it will not drag on for too long. Try to hang on!
I’m so sorry and I hope your stay in this particular purgatory is brief.
I am so sorry…
You are handling this with such grace. I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry about this, Amanda. It must be so heartbreakingly difficult to go through this right now.
I’m so sorry, Amanda.
Jeez Amanda. I am sorry.
As you already know, I think this sucks majorly ass. I’m sorry you and dan are dealing with more sadness and stress. I wish I could take it away for you both.
taz
Torturous, to say the least. I’m so, so sorry. Much love to you…
So sorry that this is happening, Amanda.
I hate that you have to go through these days. I hate that you are so used to it.
And I am so sorry.
Oh Amanda, that is so sucking news. I’m so so sorry. And thinking of you a lot. I wish you didn’t have to go through this.
Oh crap amanda this is just rubbish, I’m so sorry. I hope the answer tomorrow is clearer.
Oh, crap, honey. I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry to be so late with the support (I’ve been out of town). But I’m thinking of you lots.