Doing What I Do Best Most
March 19, 2006
Yeah, that would be waiting. I am such a pro at that now. I don’t like it any more than I did when we started this crap, but the wait never seems to disappear.
Right now I’m waiting for my period to show up so I can get this long ass FET protocol started. My cycles are always pretty long after a failed cycle or chemical, so I’m not surprised that I’m still waiting. That doesn’t make me any less impatient, though.
I guess my life is pretty darn boring when I’m not cycling or in beta hell or miscarrying or anything else of that nature. Let’s see, today I did our state income taxes and unclogged the shower drain. Boy, now that’s something I can blog about.
You know what scares me the most about the possibility, no make that the probability, of this FET failing? What it will mean in terms of waiting. If I think this one month wait to cycle again is tough, I have no clue how I will make it through the wait to start the adoption process (assuming that’s the road we take which is what I’m assuming at this point) not to mention the wait of the process itself. I’m going to have to have someone put me in a coma or something.
Waiting drives me crazy because it feels like I’m making zero progress. In fact, sometimes it makes me feel like I’m actually going backwards.
After this FET is over we will have been waiting four and a half years. Can I survive another two after that? I guess I won’t have much choice in the matter, will I?
I guess I just need to focus on the “one step at a time” thing. It’s hard, though. The wait can just wear a person down.
***Note to self: Don’t use strikethroughs in post titles. Apparently Bloglines doesn’t pick up HTML in post titles and thus your title ends up making no sense whatsoever.
- Posted in : Post cycle #6: Waiting for the final cycle
- Author : amanda
Comments»
The wait is the worst part. I hear you loud and clear.
Amanda, the waiting is the worst. I hear you on one month vs. two years. I couldn’t imagine. Maybe take lots of vicodin and vodka during the wait. You can at least make the time go faster that way. (or would it be slower given that you’d end up in rehab? hmmm…) Seriously, sorry for all the disappointments and waiting. Waiting sucks.
I hear ya, Amanda…I wish I had a solution, but waiting is something we’re all stuck doing…and I feel it is my job to remind you that this FET may work. I understand where you’re coming from when you say it’s probable that it won’t happen…but it could. And all this crap will have been worth it in the end.
whoever said one day at a time wasn’t on a perpetual wait cycle. It doesnt get easier and I don’t think we learn to handle it any better I mean really how many days can you measure the length of your leg hair growth for without that becoming tedious? but hey the unplugging of the shower drain now that’s newsworthy stuff ok that’s stretching things maybe not newsworthy but it beats what I did today which was a fat nothing.
I hate waiting too…and you get quite professional at it when doing IVF? I never waited for anything that much…argh…one day at a time is just a “nicer” way of calling waiting hell in my opinion. We will soon be waiting 4 years…feels like forever.
Hope Af comes soon.
N
Yes indeed, the wait. I’m casting about for new hobbies and occupations to pass the time. Hope I don’t become musclebound with all the exercising. Or gutbound with all the eating, depending on which activity dominates. Good luck, I’m hoping for very good things this time.
Hey, if it makes you feel any better, your day was more exciting than mine :)
I have the same problem….pretty much gave up everything for this and I’m not working so, when not in the middle of a cycle and I don’t have that to focus on, it’s like suddenly it hits home that I have no life outside of that! The waiting is terrible….feeling like you’re always in Limbo.
Yes, definitely the one step at a time approach is the best way to look at things if you can. I know 2 yrs. seems like a lifetime right now but the time will go by faster than you think. And, if you know what your course of action will definitely be, you won’t have to work around “what if’s” and might actually be able to do some stuff during that 2 years that you haven’t been able to due to IVF and all the unknowns.
I don’t know…..trying to put a bit of a positive spin on things here but definitely acknowledging that it sucks.
I’m a terrible person to have to wait too. Hope you’re coping!
The waiting is undoubtedly the worst part. I hope the hag shows soon.
I can agree completely. When the hag shows at my house, I do get depressed about not being pregnant. But I get more depressed that I have to wait 5 weeks to ovulate again before we even get another chance at it.
I’ve thought the same thing about the adoption wait. I think I’ll get through that the same way I’m getting through the “trying to get pregnant wait”–one bitter day at a time.