Happy Blogiversary to Me April 19, 2006
Two years ago today I started this blog. Wow, has a lot happened in those two years. If you had told me two years ago when I started this blog that I still be in the trenches then I think I would have lost it. Good thing we get to take this crap one step at a time.
When I started this blog I really had no idea in which direction it would go. It didn’t take long for it to go in the infertility direction. My first post written on the topic started with this paragraph.
What do you what to be when you grow up? I think I’ve pretty much always known – a mom. Sure, I think I could have done a number of things, but I know in my heart I was meant to be a mom. I want to have a family with my amazing husband. Well, as things turn out, you can’t always get what you want and certainly not when you want it.
I still feel that way. This crap can’t change that feeling that I have deep down. That was written before Dan had even had his first surgery. We didn’t even know then that we’d be doing IVF for sure. Good thing I had a realistic outlook about it from the get go. From that same post:
My husband’s surgery is scheduled for this Tuesday, the 27th. I know we’re both really nervous about it, but it will give us some really important information. It will let us know whether the Dr. will be able to attempt a complicated reconstructive surgery to fix the situation or whether our next step will be IVF. We’re hoping for reconstructive surgery for a few reasons: it will most likely be covered be insurance (IVF won’t be) and if it’s successful, that will be the end of things. With IVF, we’ll have to have multiple procedures to have more than one child. Plus, unlike many people believe, IVF isn’t a sure shot. Some people aren’t successful at all with it, and many people take multiple times for it to produce a viable pregnancy. Plus, there’s the whole money thing. $15-20,000 a pop is a lot of money.
Ok, the $ thing makes me laugh now knowing that I was freaking over the cost of one cycle. I’m just so glad that I really understood the odds with IVF even before we started. Not that it really helps now, but it’s nice to know I never went into it expecting things to go easily.
So, from there we had Dan’s biopsy and then a few months later his second surgery, the reconstructive attempt that failed. That then led into our four fresh cycles and two FETs, and now a third. That’s a lot to pack into two years.
I wonder how I will feel when I get off of this roller coaster (or when I’m forced off). I don’t know. I have no clue what I’ll be writing about on my third blogiversary. Do I expect to have a kid by then? Nope. I can’t expect that anymore. I hope I will, but I don’t expect it.
Ok, so this didn’t turn out to be such a happy post for my “Happy Blogiversary.” What can I say? I’m on Lupron. Seriously, though, just knowing that I’ve made it through these two years (and almost 2.5 of dealing with IF before I started blogging) in one piece feels like quite an accomplishment to me. I can be happy that I’ve made it this far. I just know that without this blog, and without all of my blogging friends, I wouldn’t have. So, thank you all. You all are what makes this a happy blogiversary for me.
- Posted in : IVF Part 7: FET #3, various other ramblings
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I know it’s been an awfully rough two years (and more) for you, but I am constantly amazed by your strength in the face of it all. I hope and pray this is the year things finally turn around for you and that next year’s blogiversary post is full of news about your little one or little one on the way — however he or she makes his or her way into your life.
I’m so glad I’ve gotten to “know” you…I really hope that things get better this year. You’ve been through so much (understatement of the year) in the past two years and it’s time you get a break!
I don’t know what to say, Amanda. But I wanted to tell you that I’m still here, still reading, still hoping your dream comes true.
Happy two year blogiversary! I am here and hoping that this next year brings only good things.
Thank YOU for all your support for me, Amanda. Happy Blogiversary to you and may all your troubles be little ones.
happy blogiversary to YOU, Amanda!
Happy Bloggiversary, Amanda! I hope your third year of blogging is filled with happy, fulfilled, maternal posts, starting off soon with a phenomenally successful cycle. I’m so hoping for you, my dear.
Hugs Amanda, Hoping this next year is the best year yet for you. Happy Blogversary.
OK, so it wasn’t an ecstatic post, but it was a noble one. Your blog was the first I came across when I needed an outlet. I didn’t even know blogs existed (I know, what planet am I from…). So thank YOU for all the support and guidance. And thank YOU for being the voice of reason.
Happy Blogiversary! Now you need that margarita.
Happy anniversary…I can only wish that your coming third year of blogging will include the happiest of news. You deserve every happiness and I hope like hell that the biggest one of all isn’t far off. And through it all, I”ll be here, rooting you on quietly from the sidelines :-)
happy, happy blogiversary!
Hoping for you, because I know how hard it is to hope, that next year’s post is the ecstatic one. I remain overwhelmed by your grace under pressure.
I’ve just started reading your blog and some of the stories of all the other amazing women. As a novice IVFer (just started first cycle), I thank you for sharing your stories…makes it easier knowing what might be ahead, good or bad!
I think I have written it before, but your blog is the reason that I have my blog. I stumbled upon yours about a year ago when doing research on IVF. So THANK YOU for all your support given through your blog (and by you in your comments). I don’t know what the IVF cycle would be for me if I hadn’t found your blog. By looking at your IF CV I am amazed and do nothing more than hope that this FET will work. I know it’s hard for your to keep your hopes high…
I am keeping everything crossed for you!!!!
Nina
Happy blogiversary, A. May the next one be much, much happier.
Just checking in to make sure you’re holding up under all that lupron. Happy Blogiversary! Like many others, your blog – and you! – have helped me a lot through some very trying times and I thank you for that.
Hi…I just completely stumbled on to this by accident when doing one of my random google song lyric searches. I am nineteen and have a long way to go before I am ready to be a Mom, but I wanted you to know how touched I was by this. I have been dealing with lyme disease (a tick borne neurological disease) for 2 and a half years and have been through the mill with doctors, medication, and pain. Still, every day I have hope that tomorrow I will wake up and the pain will be gone. It’s beautiful to me to see that same human determination manifesting itself in the various experiences of others. And it’s equally beautiful to know that I can send this message out into the great unknown and know that somehow, somewhere, it will touch someone. Know that you’re in my prayers tonight. :)
Kate
Amanda, you are a survivor , plain and simple. You have a right to be proud of that!
Thank you for putting yourself out there for all of us to read, to laugh with you and to cry with you…
And thank you especially for being so honest.
Amazing strength. I can’t imagine the shape I’d be in after two years. We’ve just made it through our first failed IVF cycle and are gearing up for our first FET. I admire you for your determination and constitution to continue to follow your dream.
Happy Blogiversary! I happened to stumble across your blog when I was googling one night, and am very glad I did. Thanks for talking about the lupron so eloquently. As much as I prefer not to, I can deal with the needles, patches, and pills, but lupron is the WORST!
Amanda, if you can survive Lupron and 4.5 years of infertility, you can make it through anything life throws your way. You are one tough chica.
Happy blogiversary Amanda! I hope it gets much happier my friend.
I’m sorry you are still here having to talk about TTC. I hope that all the inconvenience of the Lupron leads to some amazing results for you.
Best wishes
AKAIK you’ve got the aswner in one!