Moving Right Along June 21, 2006
Things are coming along on the house front. We found out yesterday that we’ve been officially approved for our mortgage and that our interest rate has been locked in. Those are definitely good things.
Up next are the appraisal and inspection. Both of those will have to wait a bit, though, until the house is 100% finished. The two things we’re waiting on are the installation of the appliances and the sodding of the backyard. The appliances have been ordered, so that one shouldn’t take too long. However, it may be a little bit of a wait until the backyard can be sodded. It’s just too wet right now due to all of the rain in recent days. Things will have to dry out before they can get started on it. Good thing we’re not in a hurry.
What’s not moving right along, however, is the wait until my rescheduled ultrasound on Friday. I’m still so scared that things aren’t going to work out. It’s so funny to me how differently Dan and I are dealing with the current situation. I’m still in denial, afraid of saying too much for fear of jinxing anything. Plus, I’m still so far off from thinking things might actually be ok.
Dan, on the other hand, has turned into Mr. Positive. He’s just so sure that everything is ok and will continue to be that way. I guess this is his way of coping just like I have my way, but it’s just so opposite of how I’m feeling. I think we’re driving each other a bit crazy because of it. He drives me crazy with his liberal use of the p-word while I drive him insane with my negative talk. I guess it’s a good thing we can balance each other out a bit.
Dan’s been great, though. He keeps asking me if I want him to take off Friday to come with me to Houston. I keep hedging on my answer. The truth is that while it would be nice to have him with me, both for the actual ultrasound and for the long drive, I can’t help but think that he needs to go to work on Friday in case he needs to take off a day of work for D&C purposes if we get bad news.
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to get out of the habit of expecting everything to go to hell eventually. I mean, I have good reason to think that way. I just can’t imagine things working out and being able to break that thought process. It just doesn’t seem possible.
I guess it’s a good thing I’m hanging around Mr. Positive these days. Just think what I’d be like otherwise.
- Posted in : Post cycle #7: Trying to stay knocked up, various other ramblings
- Author : amanda
Comments»
It’s SO hard getting out of that mindset - or actually expressing that mindset. While I know I’ll never be a positive thinker(!), I’m thinking a year or two down the line, the fear filled thoughts will slow down…
Amanda, I’m not sure this is worth anything, but Mudge loveloveloved being able to see with his own eyes the u/s. I was petrified and he calmed me and that was lovely, but looking back, he loves recalling those early images.
And of course, if the bad thing happens, Dan will have to sort out his schedule anyways. Life does get in the way and his office will just have to do without him.
Thing most positive thoughts for you.
You’ve just described Michael and I to a tee! I’m the optimist right now with the whole Julia thing and he’s the pessimist and we are driving each other crazy. I’m glad the house thing is moving along, sod problems notwithstanding.
Ha! You’re reminding me of a comedian who does a whole routine about sappy love songs:
“love songs. Nothing but love songs. Stick-your-head-in-the-oven-and-turn-the-gas-on-high love songs.”
heheh. I’m glad you have Mr. Optimistic to balance you out. You have every right to be terrified and pessimistic, although I wish our collective fingers could snap you out of it. fwiw, I couldn’t imagine not having Hubby there for either good or bad news. Maybe it’s worth taking the risk?
I think I would want him there, if for nothing else than moral support. It’s really hard to get out of the pessimistic mindset when you’ve been through so much. I hope Mr. Optimism gets to keep his attitude, and am thinking good thoughts for all of you.
When you’ve been handed shit over and over, it’s normal to expect another handful. You’re strong. You’ll handle whatever is thrown your way, but I know it’s going to be OK. You’ll see your little peanut lounging with his or her rapid heartbeat, maybe even waving. If you listen hard enough, there may just be a tiny scream “Ma! I’m alright already!”
Have him come with you. If by some OFF chance you do get bad news, you’ll have him there with you so you won’t have to face it alone. I know given some of our “spotty” history, that Kile has pretty much insisted on going to all my appointments, just in case. But when you get the good news, you can celebrate together. I guess we’re the opposite of you guys, with me being the positive one and him being Mr. Negative. It’s just how we deal.
And WOO HOO on the house. :) That’s gotta feel good. I still remember when things got firmed up with our first (and only so far) house. Good times.
I also vote take Dan. It would be nice not to have to do the drive by yourself, and to share that image. And if the worse happens then most workplaces understand that a little time is necessary. But shhsss…cause the worse is not allowed to happen this time…. you hear me universe!
It’s really hard to break habits like that - really hard. Eventually, though, as you are bombarded with GOOD POSITIVE pregnancy facts, it will be easier for you to believe. Good luck on Friday (not that you’ll need it :-)
Dear Amanda, I so understand. Hoping so hard with you that tomorrow starts to dispel your fears.
And I agree that it sounds like a good idea to take Dan if you can. He’s a huge part of this.
COol about the house, you deserve it :) Sending girl power vibes for no more floods in Houston ;)
I’m with Dan this time around. I just have a feeling everything is going to be ok for you. But I also remember how scared I was, even after my 1st good u/s…I still planned for the worst.
Hoping you get more good news tomorrow!
I’d take Dan with you, but to be honest, I think that everything will be OK for you. I’ve had one u/s and am still terrified each and every day that things are going wrong. I over-analyze each and every symptom and have decided that they are starting to diminish which surely means that something is wrong. Fortunately my husband is also super optimistic and is absolutely sure that everything is fine. I guess it is good to have the balance. I can’t wait to hear how everything goes tomorrow…I’ll be checking back all day for an update!!
I’m married to Mr. Optmist myself so that’s a good balance to the “it’s all gonna go to hell” attitude I’m prone to for most things. Same goes for my current state of being and yes, A is being his usual positive self.
I don’t know how I’d get through the first u/s tomorrow without A, whether or not it’s good or bad news. (G-d, pls let it be good–for me and for you both.) I think it’d be nice to have Dan along and for good reason–you’ll get a glimpse of the good embryo growing along and can follow that up with a lovely lunch to celebrate.
That’s my line of thinking and I’m sticking to it. Hang in there my friend, T-minus 24 hours or so and counting.
So incredibly happy for you Amanda. You so deserve to have it all. Kim/Pillow Talk
Good luck tomorrow my friend!
Take Dan with you. It’s a horrible long drive and you might as well be together. If he has to take time off for a D&C then he can make that happen, too. And most likely he won’t have to.
I’m checking in maniacally, looking for today’s update. I still have my fingers all crossed for you that it is more good news.
I’m also refreshing wildly to see what the good word is! Hope you had a wonderful morning and day :-)
where are you… i cant stand it… i want so bad for everything to work out…you SO deserve it!!