You Want Me to Make What Kind of Appointment? June 23, 2006
Dan didn’t end up being able to go with me today after all. He got handed a bunch of work yesterday that he needed to get done by today. I wish he could have come, but I managed to survive the jaunt over to Houston and back in one piece.
My ultrasound went well. My first question to the u/s tech after the image popped up on the screen was, “Is it still alive?” Indeed it was. Amazing.
Everything is measuring right on track at 8w5d. The heartbeat was still present and accounted for at 179 bpm.
Even though I have one more ultrasound appointment scheduled at my clinic a week from Monday, they apparently want me to go ahead and schedule an appointment with an OB. Um, one problem. I don’t have an OB. I don’t even have a run of the mill gynecologist. I never bothered to find a new one after we moved last August. It’s seemed to me that my permanent resident status at my RE’s office was good enough.
I guess I’m going to have to get on that. My RE gave me a few recommendations, so I guess I need to follow up on those. It’s so freaking surreal to be thinking about that.
Seeing that ultrasound image with my own eyes helps quell my fears for at least the time being. I know I really need to get over my “everything goes to hell eventually” mentality, because I know it’s getting old. To those around me, I mean, blog readers and husbands alike. It never gets old to me, because those fears are ever present. Plus, I just don’t get why things would work out now after everything we’ve been through.
I guess there’s a lot that I’ll never understand. Trying to is too much right now anyway. Hell, I can’t even wrap my brain around what is happening yet. Being able to do that would be a feat in itself.
- Posted in : Post cycle #7: Trying to stay knocked up
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Oh, brilliant Amanda! So pleased for you!
I know just what you mean Amanda, it’s hard to even imagine a different way of thinking.
All I can say right now is that I’m so very happy for you!
YES! Awesome heartrate! I am just over the moon, this is terrific.
Amanda! That is great news! That baby may be the one! Wishing you the best!
I am so happy to hear that the ultrasound went well. Congratulations! I totally understand what you mean. I do well for a day or two (oh please, just a few hours) and then I go back to worrying that my little bean is still alive. I constantly ask my hubby whether he thinks the baby is still alive. I know my paranoia drives him nuts, but he handles it well.
It’s hard not to imagine the worse especially when the road to “here” has been littered with so many disappointments. I still can’t believe it is happening for real and I continue to be anxious until I get further down the road. Like you, I don’t have an OB either. I gave my RE a list of providers in my insurance group and he’ll give me his recommendation. I assume I’ll have to make an appt if all is well next Friday.
I just have to try and relax until then. I mean we haven’t even told our families. I keep waiting thinking I’ll be ready, but I am so scared to jinx it all. I hope that if the next appt goes well and I “graduate” from the RE I’ll be ready to tell them. Ahhh - how I wish I could just get that pregnancy glow, but I think I am prey to the worrying frown more often than not! ;) I am trying to work on it though - just have to make it to the next appointment!
Again, congrats! I am sooooo glad to hear all is well and that’s one strong heartbeat, missy! :) Yay!
I love it! And it IS mind boggling, it’s so surreal to move your entire frame of reference into another perspective, so cut yourself some slack. This phase is just awkward all the way around.
Now, get thee to a fantastic OB!
No one deserves this more. I’m so excited for you guys.
Yipppeeee!!! NBHHY.
Congrats Amanda. I’m so happy to hear that things look good and everything is going well. Worry is normal after everything you have been through.
Yay for the good news! And I totallly understand not being able to grasp that things might actually turn out well. Here I am at 35 weeks, waiting for the “other shoe to drop” becuase it just doesn’t seem possible. You’re still in my prayers and will be until you get that baby safe in your arms.
It isn’t getting old to me at all. I feel the same way! Good news today though, and may it keep coming!
When I began bleeding early in my first pregnancy my doctor told me, “Whatever happens with this pregnancy is going to happen. There’s nothing you can do about it so try not to worry.” Yeah, RIGHT. That certainly didn’t stop me from getting on my knees every night and praying for that baby, and begging for a crystal ball. I just wanted to know if I’d finally be holding a baby in 9 months.
Today I took that baby to her 5 year check up.
Things do work out sometimes. I just have a great feeling about you this time.
I’m so happy for you and I wish for you some peace of mind. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Fantastic News!!! I’m so very happy for you. Good Luck with the OB search. Or if you are interested in midwives, I am seeing one now (she comes to you) and could recommend a few others. Best of luck to you!
This is GOOD. I am sooo happy to learn things are going well…but I understand you completely. It’s hard to find peace and enjoy the ride…but I think you will soon.
AWESOME!!!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
I am so very happy for you and your lovely husband sweet, sweet Amanda.
All my love,
I am so happy for you, Amanda. Seeking a gyn is tricky business, but it is a nice task to have to have. You so deserve it.
HA! I didn’t have an OB either. And I totally get the being afraid thing. I think I had it until 28 weeks. I’m really happy for you, Amanda.
Let me recommend that you start using a phrase originally coined by the great and wise (and dearly missed) get up grrl: NBHHY. Nothing-Bad-Has-Happened-Yet. So far, that is true. Maybe you are not ready to exhale and congratulate yourself yet, but don’t forget to remind yourself that NBHHY.
It is so great and just what I was hoping to read today!
Congrats, Congrats, Congrats =)
And my advice on the whole OB thing, which you can file under assvice if you’d like ;) I didn’t have an OB either, but did some research on OB vs. Midwife. My midwife does not treat me like a crazy person with my fears, and as you know IF’ers tend to worry a lot. I’ve talked to some friends and their OB’s are different, it’s not as personal and they tend to take concerns more lightly (not that all OBs are like this, just the consensus I gathered) and don’t always focus on the emotional well being of the mom to be.
I guess my point is I really love my midwife because she doesn’t treat me like the crazy infertile lady like my regular doctor did. And I never ever feel rushed during my appts.
Just my 2 cents.
I am so so so happy for you guys. Congratulations again.
I am so glad to read your news today. You are going to feel how you are going to feel until you don’t feel that way anymore. You and your husband have been through the wringer. You aren’t going to feel everything is okay until that baby is in your arms. And then you will have a new passle of worries! Here’s hoping everything continues to go right for you guys!
Oh Amanda, I am in tears of happiness for you and Dan. I so hope you can start to realize this can really be happening.
Melissa in Houston
Awesome report! So happy for you. How are you feeling physically?
Congrats. And your totally normal to still be freaking out. I think you won’t breathe a sigh of relief until you hold that babe in your arms (and then you are actually a parent, and OMG the worrying, in a totally different way).
I confess to being a bit confused about why it worked this time for you- I think a big part of it is the Lovenox, but then I can’t help but wonder why it succeeded on an FET and not on a fresh (I think about you a lot because our circumstances are similar and I wonder about myself if we try again). I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don’t think the way embryos look says anything about how healthy they are (this is just based on my own experiences).
But who cares what the reason is for this miracle, I just hope it continues for the next 7 months.
Hugs my love! Congrats.
Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are graduating to the big leagues! That is such wonderful news. And things can be scary - you have to make peace and find your own way. And I second the suggestion for having midwives - they rock!
coming out of lurkdom…I was so glad to log on and see your news. I hope all continues to go well!!!
Fantastic news Amanda. I really hope things continue to be great news from here on out for you and Dan. You really deserve this.
I finally get back online (after refreshing like crazy all afternoon) and see this wonderful post. I am so incredibly happy for you and Dan and hope the good news just keeps on coming. Congrats to you both, enjoy!
I’ve been waiting for this update! I didn’t have an OB and I wish someone had recommended one because mine sucks. So if you can talk to anyone or get some kind of feedback before you choose, I recommend it. I’m so happy your ultrasound was so good!
I think we all know how you feel. Every day I wake up knowing I’m pregnant, but not believing it. I also ask my husband if he thinks the baby is OK atleast once a day. I also have a ritual where I basically make us beg the baby to not die. He’s super understanding though and just lets me feel how I have to feel.
Congratulations! I’m so happy you’ve gotten this far. We have to celebrate. That’s something my husband insists on. Something may go wrong, but today we got a little miracle (that’s what he says after every ultrasound/appointment that didn’t suck).
Sweetie this is totally wonderful news. To be on track at 8w5d is to be in the 95% or more likelihood of success level, right? Honestly is not a tiny part of you happy? Not even an eensy weeny bit? Well, we are all very very happy for you. I am believing in this baby.
So very happy for you Amanda, wonderful news!
Fantastic news! It’s definitely weird to go to an OB after years of nothing but RE’s, but in a good way.
Amanda, I’m so happy to hear your good news.
This is proof that sometimes good things happen to good people. Easy to forget in all of our battles with infertility.
I’m so happy it’s you this time.
- T
I am really happy for you!!
I am sure it will take awhile for this to all sink in, but I am sure it eventually will.
Yup, you’ve definitely got a sticky one in there. Congrats again!
coming out of lurkdom to add my $.02. it’s hard to let go of the worry (eh, who am i kidding, it never really goes away), but it sounds like everything’s going well.. and sometimes that really does mean everything’s going well. congrats!
Great news! I hope you find a great OB who doesn’t take your history lightly. The “why did it work this time?” question is familiar to me too (though on a much smaller scale, obviously.) For me, it took a while to stop waiting for things to go wrong, but eventually I did. I hope you get to that point soon!
Amanda-
I am so very happy for you! Congratulations!!
Amanda - Wow, 8 weeks already.. It’s wonderful to hear that things are on track and that you’re feeling that slight bit more relaxed. Congratulations, again and again. x
Fabulous, fabulous news! I’ve been dying to get on and check on you, but my family was here. So happy to hear that things are right on track!
I can tell you the name of my specialist (who’s also a regular OB) if you want…
But mainly I just wanted to say YAY!!
Congrats Amanda! I am keeping up with your blog and sending all the best wishes your way…
-Meenu
Congratulations Amanda and Dan. So happy for you both. Hope all gets going forward smoothly.
8w5d. And they want you to get an OB. *swoon*
That’s wonderful news.
You might never be able to wrap your head around it. Take it day by day. And remind yourself that there’s a few thousand internet addicts yelling, “YAY!” and keeping you in their thoughts. ;)
Fabulous news. Great wishes for continuing goodness.
Amanda -
I am so happy, relieved, and excited for you. Finally! May everything continue beautifully, and good luck finding that *other* sort of doctor.