Choppy Seas November 29, 2006
I don’t always expect things to be smooth sailing. I truly don’t. I’ve learned that’s impossible. However, it is hard when things seem to pile on at once.
I haven’t blogged about Thanksgiving yet, because Muffy deserved her own post. That was enough tough stuff to put out there at once. Thanksgiving sucked, though. Boy, did it suck.
My mother in law came into town early which turned out not to be a great thing. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like my toes were stepped on more. I spent a ton of time and energy planning everything out in advance, and it was beyond frustrating to feel like someone else was taking over my gig.
Things came to a head right as we were all getting ready to sit down for dinner Thursday night when my MIL turned to me and in a not so pleasant tone said, “Amanda, just relax.” Oh, you know I can’t get enough of that phrase. She kept going, and I lost it and headed toward the bedroom in tears. Dan tried to explain things to his mom, but she laid into him, too. He joined me in the bedroom, and we hung out in there with the kitties while everyone else ate dinner. Lovely, huh?
Things just went downhill later in the evening when we were attempting to “discuss” things with his mom. It was pointless. Hell, she even accused me of hating Dan’s brother. I have no freaking clue where she got that one since there’s not a hint of truth there.
One thing I’ll never forget is that when I mentioned that watching my cat grow closer and closer to death by the day was putting me under a tremendous amount of stress without having to deal with the other drama, she stood up and yelled at me, “This is not about the cat.” Three days later Muffy was gone. If you can’t understand how having my beloved furball go downhill affects me then you’ll never be able to understand me period.
It was all just a mess, and I’m glad it’s over now. I don’t think I’ll be hosting another holiday like that again anytime soon. Or ever for that matter.
The stress of the past couple of weeks is taking its toll. I had an OB appointment today, and I’ve only gained 1.5 pounds since my last visit 4 weeks ago. I had actually gained more but ended up actually losing weight over Thanksgiving. My fundal height measurement is now behind by a week and a half as a result. I know it’s the stress. I’ve cried more tears in the last week than I have in a really, really long time.
I go back to the OB in 2 weeks. Hopefully things will pick up, both on an emotional level and from a weight perspective, by then. I know I have to live the grief that comes as a result of Muffy’s death. Oh, how I miss her so very much. However, I’m choosing not to focus on my MIL’s drama. I’m venting about it to get it out of my system, but there are so many more important things in my life to focus on right now: honoring Muffy’s memory, making sure Salvador is loved and snuggled, taking care of the little guy, and getting through it all with Dan. How can the drama be more important than all of that? It just can’t.
- Posted in : Post cycle #7: Trying to stay knocked up, my furry children, various other ramblings
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Urghhh!! Sometimes in-laws can make things so very terrible. I don’t think it is just “in-law”, some parents are like that too, but it’s harder when you grow up with supportive family and then have to deal with hard to get along with in-laws.
Sorry that your Thanksgiving sucked. I hope that you are able to regroup and focus on your family now. Hope the next OB appointment brings good news.
I’m sorry Amanda! Sorry for the loss of your sweet kitty and sorry that your first Thanksgiving in your new home was ruined. Take care of yourself and I hope things start looking up.
Oh no, that sounded awful! On top of losing your poor kitty, you had to deal with that. I can’t believe she dared to come into YOUR HOME and be so horrible to you and Dan. That’s so wrong. You’ve had such a rough time just getting to this point, how can she be so completely insensitive? I’m horrified by her behavior. I wish she felt the same. I’m impressed that you even tried to discuss it with her. You’re a better person than I am.
I hope the next appointment is good. Your weight gain sounds pretty good for what you’ve been going through.
People who alienate the parties who are about to provide them with grandchildren are very, very foolish.
Very sorry you had to suffer through all that foolishness, though. Also sorry about your sweet, sweet kitties. I am a firm believer in heaven for animals, but I know that’s cold comfort right now. Glad your little family - all 2 2/3 of you - are doing well.
What Marion said re: she really shouldn’t be alienating the mother of her grandchildren.
I can’t believe she doesn’t have a clue how stressful this all is for you. After EVERYTHING you’ve been through, your final, last shot, never doing this again effort and you actually get PG with a viable baby and your terrified and traumatized by all you’ve bene through? To turn around and make it all about her is just unforgivable. And losing your cat(s) on top of that when they’ve brought you so much comfort through this whole friggin mess- I’m really sorry she doesn’t get it, and sorry that she’s related to you so unfortunately, you will have to continue to deal with someone who just doesn’t have a clue. Ugh!
Thinking of you.
Wow - that is a MIL from hell. I agree with you - forget it, don’t host another holiday. Too much needless stress.
So sorry about your cat. It’s incredibly difficult to see a pet that you love so much in their final days/hours.
Wishing you a speedy recovery from your MIL’s visit, and all the time to grieve the loss of your sweet cat.
Sorry you had to deal with your insensitive MIL during an already stressful time. Talk about a bitch, amazing.
Here’s hoping that your next turkey day is filled with happy times, as the 3 of you (you, Dan, and the little man) spend the day basking in one another’s company–regardless of where you are: your house, a friend’s house, a family member’s house, or even a restaurant (and wherever it finds you, I hope your MIL is nowhere near).
Sorry to hear about Muffy. And the MIL drama. Doesn’t that woman know that you are uber hormonal now? Hope Christmas is better.
wow! so, so, sorry amanda. your MIL sounds like my mom! she did the same thing to me christmas some years back. now, i try my best to not spend holidays with her. i’ll tell ya what my hubby says….(remember, this is about my mom, but i think it might fit your MIL) “she is a self-centered, manipulative person. she knows exactly how much she is hurting you with her behavior, yet does it anyway.”
now, you need to treat yourself to a nice lunch out and a pedicure!!
~hugs~
I’m so sorry Amanda, about Muffy and the stinky MIL behavior. Once again your Dan sounds like a gem, not all men would hang in the bedroom like that. Glad he’s there with you, and that the week is over.
Please tell us your xmas is going to consist of you being around nice people instead of that witch of a MIL.
Shame on MIL! Amanda, you are doing the right thing focusing on the things that matter. Put the problems as far away from you as possible and you with be a much happier and healthier person.
Wishing you much strength and love.
Oh sweetie, I would like to SMACK your MIL, yes I would.
I’m so sorry your t-day was so horrific. your MIL is an idiot. I can’t believe how self-centered she is. you have the right mindset to rant and get it out and then not focus on her or her issues. The loss of sweet Muffy has broken your heart and if she doesn’t get that or get you then it’s her loss by far. it’s sad she’ll never really know you or how great you are.
What in the fucking fuck is the matter with your mil? I cannot believe that she yelled at you? Is she not an animal person? Is she not a human being? (sorry Dan). I just cannot believe that she wouldn’t be more understanding - did she think you were being dramatic or something? I’m sorry for the drama, and OMG, I hate ‘just relax’ so much - it gets right up my back!