A Bit of Perspective February 16, 2007
I really hope I don’t sound ungrateful these days. I’m having a tough time, but boy am I so very thankful that we finally have Adam. I know that a year or two ago I would have killed for these challenges. I haven’t forgetten what it took to get here. So, while I may need to vent from time to time, I’m not complaining.
Things aren’t easy right now, but dealing with infertility and IVF was much harder. I now have what I waited for five years for. Honestly, it’s more challenging than I imagined, but oh so very worth it.
Instead of whining today, I’m just going to post the latest pics of our cutie pie. The tough times don’t seem quite as tough when I look at that little face.
- Posted in : our main man
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Regardless of how you got to this point, motherhood is not easy! Thanks for letting us see Adam again…he’s so cute :)
He DOES look so worth it!
I do hope it gets a bit easier each day. I often worry about that, how will I cope when I finally get what I want?
Every new mom struggles, you’re just as entitled to vent as anyone!
Oh, he’s so tiny and so cute.
It reall does get better, then you want to crunch them down and make them small again.
Aww, he’s just adorable.
Please don’t feel bad about venting. That’s really what blogs are good for, for venting what’s bugging you, whats on your mind, what you’re feeling. I find that when I use my blog to release some of that pressure, I almost always start feeling better the moment I hit “publish”. No one should even question whether or not you think it’s worth it or that you’re appreciative. I know you are. But I also know that motherhood is TOUGH sometimes, and you have to allow yourself that outlet without feeling bad.
You’re doing a great job!
He beautiful.
Is it all the bf’ing that is making you unhappy or just general new mommy things? I just remember that when I filled out the PPD survey at my dr’s office 6 weeks post partum, I remember thinking how completely different my answers would have been if I’d still been bf’ing. I totally respect your desire to stick it out and don’t want to interfere with that, but if it’s interfering with your ability to enjoy Adam and it’s not getting any better, despite support and help (I don’t know if this is true, just guessing), I would encourage you to consider alternatives.
(I didn’t read back to see if anyone flamed me after the last post. I promise I won’t say it again. I just feel like there’s so much support for bf’ing these days and very few messages that it’s okay if it turns out to not be for you. Of course the lactivists would say the opposite so I guess it’s all where you stand in the world that affects your perspective.)
He is so beautiful! Don’t feel guilty about having a hard time adjusting. It’s a HUGE life change, and not easy especially when you’re sleep deprived. Breastfeeding was so hard for me…it definetly took away from my enjoyment of the first month or so. Hang in there.
What a cutie pie!
Sleep deprivation makes everything worse, don’t worry - it’s hard for everyone. And yes, you’re probably tired of hearing it, but it DOES get better. Breastfeeding really didn’t get better until about 12 weeks or so - I hope it does earlier for you, because after that, it was really worth it!
He is beautiful!
I obviously can’t relate to how difficult things must be right now but I know it must be. Please hang in there! They all say that it will get better!
He is absolutely handsome!
I worry too about when our little one will finally arrive. I’ve spent the better part of 5 years researching and learning about HOW to GET pregnant, and now that I am I am totally clueless as to what to do. Much less what I am going to do once (god-willing) our little one actually arrives! I guess motherhood will be a learning experience like no other. Those of us who struggled so hard to get to that point have the added burden of feeling guilty if frustrated or discouraged when things don’t go as planned…and things DON”T…which is true for all new moms. Don’t let your IF stuggles make you feel guilty for being frustrated just because you wanted this so badly. (hope that made sense!!) Hang in there. You and Adam will do just fine!
I know how you feel - we adopted so I dont feel I can EVER say that I am exausted or need an hour to myself or anything - the guilt overwhelms me! I have to say because I adopted, no breastfeeding (she took to the bottle right away) and no hormones raging thru me so that is a plus - but god I am tired! Oh, I have found that after about 8 weeks they get use to the milk/formula and their system calms down but of course right about 3.5 months, they start drooling cuz the teeth are beginning. Fun!! Actually, I would not trade any of it for anything and I am already bugging my hubby for #2. hehe!!
Amanda, Thank you for sharing new pics of Adam, he is such a dollbaby! :-) I am wishing you well with the breastfeeding and I hope it gets easier soon, I can’t imagine what a tough battle it can be even after the struggles to get here. You do what you want to do for you and your baby, you’re not a bad mother for which ever route you stick with. Hugs!!!
Vent Away Amanda. No matter how much you wanted him and how hard he was to get, you are just as hormonal, sleep deprived and insecure as any new mom! Besides, we all sometimes have very unreasonable expectations of what life with a newborn will be like.
Adam is just adorable and it looks like he’s not find life too rough right now.
Congrats Amanda. I’ve been so bad with my blog reading. You did well girl! He is a beauty!
AH! He’s so cute! :)
I remember other IF bloggers going through the guilt/concern/worry/etc of sounding “ungrateful” because they had complaints or issues over their new babe. It makes me want to reach through the screen and give y’all a big hug, because while I so very much want what you have, I know what you’ve gone through to get there. I know babies are hard work. I know your complaining doesn’t mean you’re taking your mommyhood for granted. I wish there was a magic balm we could all take that would make all of us feel better about everything! (and give new moms an extra 8 hours of sleep!)
What an angel! It’s so important to be grateful for our babies, but it’s also VERY important to be able to express the frustration we are going through. Obviously, every mother is grateful to have her baby but that doesn’t mean she can’t also find it very very very exhausting and challenging to parent a newborn.
I don’t even read blogs that paint only a rosy picture of motherhood. I don’t need that guilt. When I had my daughter I felt my world was turned upside-down and there were many days I wished for my old life back (you know, the life where I went to bed and didn’t wake up for 8 hours??).
It doesn’t matter how our children got here, they all require an insane amount of time and work (as they should) and every mother is entitled to feel how she feels.
I commend you on your breastfeeding efforts. I stopped breastfeeding at week 8 because it just never got easier and it was always a struggle. I will say things got much easier after that for me, my husband and the baby. But that’s only my experience. Do what’s right for you and Adam no matter WHAT that is.
And keep up with the pictures, he’s just so adorable!
He is so adorable! (I think that’s what keeps a mom going during the difficult times!)
Wishing you more sleep very soon
Take care
you have a beautiful boy, and a perfectly reasonably complaint about how hard this all is, no matter what road you took to get here.
but i know what you mean…mine is almost ten months old, and hitting a howly phase, and whenever i lament about how much i dislike getting up at 5 am with him (he’s recently decided the world is too much fun to sleep through) i feel terribly guilty for being such an ingrate. just posted about that this morning, in fact, and figure i’m likely to get some hatemail for not being more appreciative. oh well. we’re human. it’s hard. and worth it. both can be true, i think.
be good to yourself.
What a cutie!! Don’t feel guilty for complaining - complaining about how hard it is to take care of a newborn is NORMAL - yes, after all the struggles you’re finally NORMAL! so indulge a little. An aunt of mine who recovered from leukemia has told me her greatest triumph is having the luxury to complain about things that don’t really matter, like a bad day at work, where before she thought she should just feel grateful to be there. Obviously there’s a difference, but I think it applies to moms who have endured IF. Once you get to the end of the road there’s still life there, with all it’s struggles and daily challenges. Enjoy the “normalcy” - and the cutie pie!
There is nothing that says you can’t be having a hard time right now even though you had fertility issues. Having a baby is hard. No matter how easy it was for you to get pregnant or how hard it was to get and stay pregnant. Being a mom is hard. You aren’t complaining. I’d never be mad at you for telling the truth. Hang in there! He’s such a cutie!
You are allowed to complain! There is now law against it! Having a baby brings all NEW challenges–I know you are thrilled to have him in your life! Such a cutie!
Thanks for the new pics, what a cutie!
You are allowed to whine/vent all you like, and it is hard. And just because we went through all we went through to become parents doesn’t mean that we don’t feel the same frustrations that all parents feel.
BUT, do us a favor, and please write a post about some of the good things about being a mom! Like kissing that spot on the back of their neck … sweet baby sleeping on you … you know, that kind of stuff. Please!
Ok, the breastfeeding? grunting, popping off the boob? That is SO my little Asher. He’s a week younger than Adam. I know you are very grateful to have him. I think you feel like you have to keep repeating that because alot of your readers are still going through IVF. That said, it is HARD! This is my second baby (my first turned 2 years old on Friday) and I truly forgot how hard it is. When you start getting more sleep it makes all the difference in the world.
I am going to try to cut out dairy from my diet. He is SO gassy. Does Adam poop every day? Asher doesn’t… How long does he go between feedings!
i’m putting my email here just in case you wanted to email!
Long time lurker, first time commenter…perfectly normal feelings, but don’t forget about the possibility of post-partum depression. I myself waited WAY too long to finally be diagnosed and had a horrible time with both my children. But now that I’m taking my medicine, it’s like I’m a different person and the world is a different place. I hope everything works out.