Another Year, Another Blogiversary April 19, 2007
Three years ago today I started this blog. I really didn’t know where I was going with it when I started it. It wasn’t like I really intended it to be a record of our multi year infertility saga. I guess no one really plans for that, though.
I also don’t really know where I’m going with this blog now. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t had this place to vent while going through all of the IVF crap, but things are different now. I’ve somehow managed to come out on the other side with a son. I honestly didn’t believe it would ever happen, but it did.
I don’t really need to vent anymore. I can honestly say that I’m happier now than I ever have been. Sure, I’m finding some aspects of parenting to be challenging, but it’s nothing like the challenges of the IVF days.
I don’t really feel like a “mommy blogger.” Hell, I still have to pinch myself most days. I guess I just don’t really know what to post anymore.
I don’t think I’m ready to stop blogging, and I know that even if that were the case I’d leave my blog up. I know what it feels like to be googling away trying to find someone going through something similar. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found solace in a fellow blogger’s words.
As weird as it may sound, I guess it’s going to take some time for me to get used to not being an infertility patient. IVF was my life for a good chunk of time. I invested everything in it. It truly consumed me, and that’s how it had to be. I wouldn’t have been able to do it any other way.
Now I’m using syringes to give Adam medicine instead of sticking a needle on the end to jab myself for the umpteenth time. Am I thankful? Hell yes. I’ve never been more thankful for anything in my life. Is it still an adjustment? Yep.
I guess part of me will always see myself that way, though. It goes deeper than seeing myself as one half of an infertile couple. There’s a chunk of me that I think will always identify with being an IVF patient. We just went through too much to ever forget it, ya know.
However, I do want to be able to move forward at the same time. Remembering what we went through to get Adam is what is making me the kind of parent I’m turning out to be, but thankfully I’m now also able to put the bitterness and sadness that I experienced for so many years to the side and focus on living my life with our little guy.
So, who really knows where I’ll head with this blog. It sure has saved me the past 3 years. I wonder if it will take me through the next 3.
I’ve Missed That Smile April 10, 2007
Adam turns 3 months old today. Truly amazing. He’s been feeling better the past couple of days, so it looks like the Prevacid is starting to do the trick. He’s not totally his old self yet, but it is so nice to see him smiling again.
12 Weeks April 4, 2007
I can’t believe our little man is 12 weeks old already. I wish I could say that everything is going swimmingly, but Adam has been having a tough time lately. I took him to the doctor last Friday, and he suspected that reflux is the culprit. We started him on Zantac but saw no improvement, so we switched him to Prevacid yesterday. I’m hoping so much that the new meds help, because it’s killing me to watch him be so uncomfortable and unhappy.
Despite all of that, he’s doing well. He weighed 13 pounds, 8 ounces on Friday, over double his birth weight. He’s getting stronger physically and has even started to sleep longer stretches at night.
Even when we hit a bump or two in the road, I am enjoying our little guy to bits and am looking forward to the next 12 weeks and beyond.