Another Year, Another Blogiversary April 19, 2007
Three years ago today I started this blog. I really didn’t know where I was going with it when I started it. It wasn’t like I really intended it to be a record of our multi year infertility saga. I guess no one really plans for that, though.
I also don’t really know where I’m going with this blog now. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t had this place to vent while going through all of the IVF crap, but things are different now. I’ve somehow managed to come out on the other side with a son. I honestly didn’t believe it would ever happen, but it did.
I don’t really need to vent anymore. I can honestly say that I’m happier now than I ever have been. Sure, I’m finding some aspects of parenting to be challenging, but it’s nothing like the challenges of the IVF days.
I don’t really feel like a “mommy blogger.” Hell, I still have to pinch myself most days. I guess I just don’t really know what to post anymore.
I don’t think I’m ready to stop blogging, and I know that even if that were the case I’d leave my blog up. I know what it feels like to be googling away trying to find someone going through something similar. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found solace in a fellow blogger’s words.
As weird as it may sound, I guess it’s going to take some time for me to get used to not being an infertility patient. IVF was my life for a good chunk of time. I invested everything in it. It truly consumed me, and that’s how it had to be. I wouldn’t have been able to do it any other way.
Now I’m using syringes to give Adam medicine instead of sticking a needle on the end to jab myself for the umpteenth time. Am I thankful? Hell yes. I’ve never been more thankful for anything in my life. Is it still an adjustment? Yep.
I guess part of me will always see myself that way, though. It goes deeper than seeing myself as one half of an infertile couple. There’s a chunk of me that I think will always identify with being an IVF patient. We just went through too much to ever forget it, ya know.
However, I do want to be able to move forward at the same time. Remembering what we went through to get Adam is what is making me the kind of parent I’m turning out to be, but thankfully I’m now also able to put the bitterness and sadness that I experienced for so many years to the side and focus on living my life with our little guy.
So, who really knows where I’ll head with this blog. It sure has saved me the past 3 years. I wonder if it will take me through the next 3.
- Posted in : our main man, various other ramblings
- Author : amanda
Comments»
If you feel that you have something to say, you need to keep blogging. What are we? Us folks who keep blogging after infertility? I don’t know and don’t feel comfortable with the label of mommyblogger either. However, I think that we’re an important voice, both for each other and for other folks new to the club.
I feel like the members of the generation of bloggers who started in 2004 (I was on the very late end of that) are all starting to dry up in terms of inspiration and purpose. I don’t mean that as a critique of their writing– just that a lot of that group are saying the same things you are, and I feel that way myself. I miss every single one that closes up shop, though. Don’t go!
I’m glad you’re going to stick around, I want to hear about life with baby! I know what you mean about it taking time to get past being an IF patient. The further I get away from it though, the less I identify with it. Now that we’re getting back into another cycle, it feels surreal. I’m glad you’re doing well.
I have pondered this myself. But as someone who struggled to get pregnant and is now there, I think I will miss this community if I just give it up. I like the fact that there are other mommies out there who can identify with my fears and perspective. I hope you don’t stop, maybe just post a lot less often and with a lot less pain.
Happy blogiversary, Amanda! I was must stupider than you and actually did close up my blog when those feelings hit me shortly after the twins were born. I could kick myself for just deleting all those events and thoughts and feelings. And yeah, I’ve had the new place up and running for a while now, but I can’t get back the time I lost by ditching the old place. Anyway, I still don’t have as much to say as I did back in the IF days, but it’s very comforting to know I have a place to go whenever the urge strikes now, even if that’s only once a month or whatever. I’m really glad you’re going to be sticking around.
Happy Blogiversary.
I just celebrated my 4th. It’s all about the transitions. Here’s to hoping you find the new voice in your new identity.
I wish you would post more, I try to comment as much as I can. I click daily to see what your up to. It’s okay to post more pictures, talk about motherhood. There is life after infertility, albiet a different one. Us still on the other side do like to see the lives of our fellow infertiles
Happy blogiversary! Just wanted to offer my thanks to you for creating this blog–it was the first one I found when we found out our news regarding male factor. You are a great resource! I will be looking back at your posts as we gear up for IVF in July. Thanks Amanda!
Happy blogiversary – so glad it is your first really happy one.
And so pleased you are not going to take your site down.
I’m sitting here freaking out about my beta for IVF2 tomorrow, so I came to you for a bit of inspiration and reassurance. I always find it here.
I hear ya on the “what to blog” topic. Although I’m not as far along as you (baby girl due at end of August), the constant pull to blog and interact with others on IF topics has dramatically decreased. I think it’d be great for you to leave the blog up, though. Yours is the first one I ever found on azoospermia when I was in my darkest days, trying to figure out “where to go from here” with the recent diagnosis.
I am so pleased at the joy you now possess and continue to experience with Adam. You deserve it!
Add me to the list of thank yous. I also have to add, thank you for planning on keeping your blog up, if you decide to stop blogging. There have been so many wonderful bloggers out there, who leave and take all their stores of information with them, information that could be helpful to so many people.
Even just knowing that someone had “been there, done that” and came through it as a parent can provide so much solace. And even though we’re MFI for very different reasons, being able to “bond” with another MFIer has made a huge difference to me.
Big hugs to you, Dan and Adam!
Just keep on writing and posting those photos. Your story is an inspiration. :-)