Only In the Computer June 22, 2009
Well, I didn’t mean to leave my blog on that downer note for so long. Things are looking up. Yes, it’s going to take some time to get over all that happened, but we’re ok. That’s what’s important.
So, on a lighter note, I’ve been living out my Fertile Myrtle fantasies with the Sims 3 game these days. I made my Sim’s lifetime wish to raise 5 children. Funny, huh? I even used some of my reward points to purchase a pass to the fertility clinic. Even funnier! My chick already has 3 toddlers and is pregnant again. Like I said, only in the computer.
It kind of makes me think, though. You know, about all of that fertility (or in- as the case may be) stuff. I think I’ve moved passed it as much as is possible for now. And I think that’s a good thing.
I’ll never forget, but I’m healing. You can’t go through that crap without it changing you, but it feels like a whole other life. Adam is my present. He’s just too full of life to waste energy thinking about the past.
So, what about the future? Well, we know I won’t be following in the footsteps of my Fertile Myrtle Sim. That’s a given.
I really think it’s going to be “just” Adam. There’s no “just” about him, but you know what I mean. Dan and I have already decided that we won’t be setting foot back in an IVF clinic again. It was worth every second of it to get Adam, and I’d do all of it all over again in a heartbeat, but I don’t think either of us has it in us to go through another 7 cycles. And while adoption has been discussed on and off, this whole ©ps thing throws a huge wrench into that.
The truth is, though, that even if we could be fertile myrtles, I don’t know that we would. I know that Dan and I both wanted a child so badly that we would jump through a million hoops to make it happen. Now that we’ve done our hoop jumping and have our precious one, well, I think it’s enough. He’s more than enough, actually. More than.
So, I think I’ll save my Fertile Myrtle fantasies for the computer. That’s where they belong.