I Guess It’s Not Really Deja Vu After All November 28, 2009
As I expected, it was weird going back to see my RE. I didn’t even get the benefit of going back to a familiar place, because my clinic had moved into a new facility since I was there last.
My appointment went well, though. I talked to my RE about my concerns regarding jumping back into cycling again with only one vial of sperm left. Most of our cycles only used one vial, but our last fresh used up two because they couldn’t find enough motile sperm in the first one to fertilize all my eggs (22 mature that cycle). Given that, we went over our options:
1. Cycle with our last remaining vial and fertilize as many eggs as we can.
2. Cycle using last vial but have fresh sperm retrieval on the table as backup in case frozen vial isn’t adequate.
3. Cycle using last vial but have donor sperm on hand as backup.
4. Cycle using last vial with fresh sperm retrieval as backup #1 and DS as backup #2.
I guess we could also just go ahead and plan to have Dan have surgery that day and use the fresh sperm first and use the frozen as backup. And, of course, there’s always straight to donor (which in that case we wouldn’t have to jump straight to IVF).
Then we talked about protocol should we choose to do another fresh cycle. He said we would stick with what worked (the fresh cycle that produced the embryos that we transferred in our FET that resulted in Adam.) That was microdose Lupron with all Gonal-F stim. Still on Lovenox after ET.
In order to cycle again I would need day 3 bloodwork as well as all communicable disease bloodwork redone. I would also need another hysteroscopy. Dan would need communicables. If we decide to use DS (straight away or as backup) we’d have to go to a donor counseling session.
He said we could start as soon as we wanted. I got orders for all of the bloodwork for both of us, so we can do them whenever we want.
I relayed the above to Dan when I got home. (He came home early from work to stay with Adam.) He took it all in, but he’s not really ready to discuss it all yet.
One thing I’ve learned through all of the infertility crap is how differently Dan and I process things. I remember after my miscarriage I was ready to jump into another cycle as soon as I could physically do so. It took Dan a lot longer to come around to that idea. I don’t want to push, so I’ll wait until he’s ready.
So, that’s where we are. Yes, I have thoughts on the above, but I won’t post them yet out of respect for Dan. (He reads my blog.) I think it’s important that he have space to figure out what he wants to do to without my opinions being forced upon him.
I do have to say, though, that while this is a tough decision to make, all of this pales in comparison to what we went through to get Adam. I sat in the waiting room on Wednesday wondering about the other women sitting there. I was hoping so much that their hearts weren’t hurting as much as mine did when I was there before.
There just is no comparison to before. None. My heart isn’t broken anymore, so no matter what we decide to do, no matter the outcome, it will be ok.
- Posted in : IVF Part 8: the 2nd time around
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Good luck with your decision. That’s a lot of options. I hope you both come to a comfortable decision as easily as possible.
Yup, that was exactly how I felt the second time around. I had already won, was already a Mommy, the rest was just a bonus.
Men and women process things so differently. Best of luck with whatever you both end up deciding. And I am so, so glad you have your precious Adam.
Oh honey – so sweet. You know, I was thinking in the waiting room during all those after-A. cycles that I kind of felt worse for those women than I did for me. Strange – can’t actually communicate what I mean. Should blog it eh? (’bout time).
And honestly Amanda? I got tired reading everything you’re going to have to do, ffs! But it’s a process like anything else right? The potential outcome is so much more than anything else though. RAMBLING now methinks! xoxo.
btw – I got tired thinking of you having to do all the retesting and everything – just wanted to make that clear. tee hee. (thursday night!).