It Only Takes 43 February 26, 2010
Forty-three. That’s how many embryos we made to get Adam. We transferred twenty-one. Eighteen of those were blasts.
That’s why the number 4 makes me nervous. It’s a far cry from 43.
Yes, I know there are many, many people who found success with x number of embryos. And I know that I shouldn’t stress over numbers. See the thing is, though, that analyzing both my history and the stats of my current situation is how I deal with IVF.
I really think there are two types of IVF patients: the ones who want to know every single piece of information, who record every number along the way, and then the ones who who prefer not to get bogged down in the details, who find that the numbers make it harder. It’s not hard to guess which category I fall in.
Yes, I’m the girl who has a notebook and pen in hand any time there is an ultrasound machine within a ten foot radius. I’m the one who makes a spreadsheet so I can compare numbers between cycles. That is my way of taking what little control I can over this uncontrollable process.
Our fertilization report was actually a good reality check for me. I had, wait for it… actually started to get my hopes up. Oh, I’ve dealt with that bitch Hope way too many times, and she’s no good. Back to reality. I still want it. Really want it, but I’m trying to keep things in check now.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll walk into my RE’s office tomorrow and get a great day 3 report and have a smooth transfer. Those crossed fingers are going to get me to tomorrow, but there’s no doubt that I’ll keep on worrying about having 4, because I know just how far that number is from 43.
- Posted in : IVF Part 8: the 2nd time around
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I’ll be thinking of you.
I’m with you: I have my notepad and write it all down. :-)
It’s so distressing for me, too, to see my numbers drop over the years. The most eggs I’ve had retrieved in a cycle was 14…and the worst, ZERO. The zero came just this last December.
Did your RE change anything in your protocol that you can recall? If not, maybe your body is just responding differently to meds this time ’round? My fav cycles were with lupron (believe it or not) and I can’t get an RE anywhere to let me cycle with it anymore.
I hope you get a kick ass 3 day report Amanda. Are you going to grow them to day 5?
Thinking of you also Amanda, remember it just takes one!! You know I’m kidding on that, insert eye roll. Really hope all four stick around for a while, and one or two stay nine months!
oxox,
Kimmer
Wow I had almost forgotten how many IVF attempts you did to get Adam (good thing they are so worth it). I transferred 12 day 5 blasts to get Caden, and just 1 frozen blast to get Kara (from Caden’s cycle).
I too was a note taker, a researcher, a questioner. Like you, I grabbed whatever control I could.
Fingers crossed, my friend.
I completely understand. I am definitely like you in regards to the IVF type of patient. The process is so emotionally and physically grueling and truly hope is a bitch. You want to keep yourself in check but it is hard – it’s a defense mechanism. I have battled that internal conflict A LOT and it never gets easy. You can’t control anything and for me at least the hardest thing was that it was my body and knowing that I had no control over it frustrated me to no end. I think I used to name my “body” “Bertha” since though she was mine she clearly had a mind of her own! Ulgh!! In any case, stats/numbers/ etc is a way for us to control things – it’s hard and usually causes more stress but I just couldn’t help myself. Ahh – I wish I was a happy go lucky IVF person but then again “happy go lucky” and “IVF” sounds like an oxymoron to me! ;)
I am HOPING for you and keeping everything I can crossed for you. GOOD LUCK TODAY!!! I’m thinking of you and pray all goes well…
Totally understand. The one thing I will throw in is that it’s possible your clinic has come up with better protocols since you went through the grueling process of conceiving Adam, which could throw off your calculations. Also, it’s possible you’re in a situation in which you have quality over quantity. (This is what I would be telling myself if I were in your situation…and I might well be at some point. I too am super-analytical about this stuff and want comfort from NUMBERS, darn it.)
I didn’t mean to be all pollyanna about it with my last post. You never know what’s going to work. I know other people’s success (or failure) stories have no bearing on your situation. But by the same token, the fact that it took 43 embryos to get Adam doesn’t mean you necessarily need that many to get another baby. But I do understand that it helps to keep your expectations low. I’ll keep hoping for you.