Don’t Remind Me March 3, 2010
My clinic just called to let me know that our other two embryos didn’t make it to freeze. Um, duh. They were multi celled on day 5, and one was already starting to degenerate. It’s not like they were going to magically transform into high quality blasts on day 6. Then she also reminded me that we used our last vial of sperm this cycle. Yep, I was aware of that, too.
I know she was just doing her job, but the fact that, for the first time, we literally have nothing in the deep freeze has already been on my mind. There are no more embryos. No more sperm. This is it.
When we were cycling before to get Adam, there wasn’t a two week wait that went by that I didn’t devote at least one post to the infamous Plan B. I had to have one. That’s the only way I could get through a cycle, to know that we had some sort of back up plan in the works. We weren’t going to quit until we got our baby, so I had to know what the next step was.
Things are obviously very different now. There is no Plan B. There is no next step. Either this cycle is going to work, and we’ll have another child, or it won’t and Adam will be an only. The finality of that is weighing on me.
I went back and read through the posts of the two week waits of my last few cycles today. Boy, it’s a crazy time. I’ll admit that I’m already going a little nuts.
There are two things that make this 2ww different, the fact that this is a one shot deal and the fact that we already have Adam. Both change how I’m dealing with the wait.
I’m halfway through right now. Beta is in seven days. Pee sticks will be unveiled in five. I’ll probably have a good idea even before then. I’ve gotten pretty good at being able to tell.
So, it’s really not that long, and despite the reminders I’m trying not to focus on the empty freezer situation. We knew going into this cycle that this would be it. And we will be ok however it plays out. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed it goes the way we hope.
- Posted in : IVF Part 8: the 2nd time around
- Author : amanda
Comments»
I have my fingers crossed too…
I was wondering when the sticks would make their appearance, lol. You know the addict in me was dying to know.
Good luck Amanda, hope this cycle works for you guys. Thinking of you.
Sorry about the no plan B, sucks. I know. Though I want another at times it seems I’ve already got one. We have custody of Trin now. So, even if I wanted to adopt another child, it would be craziness around here. More crazy than it already is…
oxox,
Kimmer
Thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed!
I hope it goes the way you want. Still have everything crossed for you!!
Thinking of you and fingers crossed!
My research says that embryologists still don’t have the tools they need to know which embryos are going to make it or not, those tests are still in the future. So the grading is interesting, but not a slam dunk. I will be hoping very hard for you. Perhaps one way of interpreting what you’ve written is that you already have Plan B in place, and it’s Adam?
I agree about the grading, Thalia, so I’m trying not to think about the fact that these are these are the “worst” in terms of grading that we’ve ever transferred.
And the way I look at it, Adam is Plan A. No Plan B necessary.
Thinking of you…whenever we start our IVF Journey for #2 we’ll be in the same boat. This is our last shot. I just sent off a check for the storage fee for our last remaining frozen embryos. It’s weird. Like you, I am a planner. The only way I stayed sane during all the IVFs we underwent trying for Jack was thinking of Plan B. I always had to have all my bases covered.
I am keeping everything crossed I can possibly cross that you will be a recipient of another miracle in 7 days time! :)
It’s weird not having a Plan B, I know. For our last go-’round, I wouldn’t even start trying to cycle again if we weren’t able to have a plan B. I will keep everything crossed as tight as possible for you. Meanwhile, I hope Plan A(dam) keeps you fully occupied and distracted (ha!) for the next 6 days :)
Fingers crossed!
Hoping so much that this cycle is a success for you.
I have to admit that I’m curious–and apologies in advance if you’ve covered this in detail in much earlier posts–but why is this last vial of sperm the very last option? I am assuming that it is not medically feasible to perform the same procedure(s) you used earlier–is that so?
Gee willkeirs, that’s such a great post!