Living Out of a Suitcase March 15, 2010
You know how when you go on a short trip a lot of times it’s just easier to pull things out of your bag as needed instead of completely unpacking? That’s where I am right now.
I packed up my unused meds and syringes as well as my sharps and had them all ready to go when I went in for beta #1. I didn’t end up bringing them with me after I got my super faint positive HPT that morning. Those bags have sat all packed up in my kitchen ever since.
Every time I need a med or a syringe, I just go dig one out of the appropriate bag. It doesn’t feel right unloading them all. Surely my stay will be short enough that it’s just easier to leave them packed.
I don’t know what tomorrow’s beta will bring. I do know that it won’t be negative, though. I peed on another stick this morning, and it was positive. No more faint line positive, a real “there’s definitely a good line there” positive.
So, I’m assuming based on the fact that this morning’s HPT was significantly darker than the one three days ago, that my beta did not stall out at 40. The question is how much has it risen. And more importantly, is it going to continue to do so.
I wish I knew. I don’t really feel all that pregnant, and deep down I feel that there’s no possible way that this is going to work out. It’s just too much of a stretch, ya know. I guess all I do know for sure is that I’m not unpacking.
- Posted in : IVF Part 8: the 2nd time around
- Author : amanda
Comments»
Hmmm… well, I will sit cautiously with you, but I sincerely hope that tomorrow’s beta will make you strongly consider unpacking.
I understand your hesitation. I would be the same way — all we know is that IVF is an emotional roller coaster and unpredictable. I am sending good thought and lots of hugs. I know none of this is easy…
Thanks for updating! I’ve been stalking watching for an hpt update, Babes, if it makes you feel better you can leave those things packed up for good. And hopefully you’ll be digging needles out of there one by one for the next several months…I totally get the hesitation (to put it mildly, I’m sure) for positive thinking, but the right direction, hey that’s something!
Well, here’s to you being able to unpack that bag….I figure it’s just f@cking with your mind..because it can. ;) Hope all turns out well for you guys and the bags are unpacked for several months.
I will hope and wish and pray that your numbers turn into a miracle. Maybe we could get all our little miracles together someday.
So hoping for you.
Oh Amanda, I hope that you’ll be unpacking all those syringes and PIO tomorrow! Please update us!! (hug)
Dark line is good. I’m hoping up a storm over here. :)
Living out of a suitcase ain’t so bad! Can’t wait for the update!
Fingers crossed, can’t wait for the BETA update!
Limbo sucks. You are in my prayers.
Forgive me if I hope for you. Anxiously awaiting an update!
I’m out of league here. Too much brain power on dsiaply!