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This Day May 9, 2010

This day used to be one of the hardest of the year for me. I used to dread this day, this mother’s day.

Now today is a day to be thankful. It’s not a day where I expect gifts. It’s not a day I expect to be pampered.

And you know what? It’s ok that I didn’t get a mother’s day gift today. It’s ok that I spent my day pressure washing the patio and painting the front door surround (still getting the house ready) instead of having the day “off.”

It’s because I know what it feels like for today to be painful to the core. Now, despite the regularity of the day, I am happy to just feel grateful. No special anything needed, because this already feels pretty damn special.

My wish each and every mother’s day since I became a mom is that others who are still waiting finally get to welcome that day instead of fear it. Today is a day to reflect for me, and it’s also a day for me to think of everyone still in the trenches.

Yes, this year things are a little bittersweet given my recent loss, but I can honestly look past that for today. Today is about the fact that my little miracle man has made me a mom. Nothing can take that away.

I am lucky. I am damn lucky for today to be a good day instead of a bad. I honestly hope that everyone still waiting gets that, too.

Comments»

1. Rachel - May 9, 2010

Happy Mothers Day!

2. Amanda - May 10, 2010

I’m glad through all of this that today is still a good day for you. I hope everyone else waiting gets to enjoy mother’s day soon too.

3. Linda - May 14, 2010

Talk about a bittersweet day. Oy. It’s hard for me to send my moms (I have 2) cards on this day, or to get all excited about taking the one I am close to out for brunch. But I do. And I reflect and ache through it. Nothing like sitting in a restaurant on MD for brunch with a place filled with moms and their tots.

My 2nd IVF my doctor had me do my beta on Mother’s Day despite my protests that it was simply a very bad idea. I’ll never be able to forget his “sensitivity” or my BFN on that day.

It IS good that you’ve got your little man Amanda. Go give that precious boy a huge hug. :-)

4. Wednesday - April 25, 2011

With the bases loaded you srtcuk us out with that answer!