Embryos On Board March 1, 2010
Two of our embryos made it to blast. One was an advanced blast, the other an early blast. The advanced one was rated 3BB (highest being 4AA) which is ok, but is lower than anything we’ve transferred before. They don’t rate early blasts.
The other three were just multi celled, but we went ahead and threw one of those back, too, since we could transfer three. Obviously nothing will come from that one, though.
Transfer itself went smoothly which is welcome news to this wonky cervixed gal. I got some more yummy IV drugs, so all in all, it wasn’t a bad day.
Beta’s on the 10th. Any bets on me staying sane until then?
How Many? February 28, 2010
Yesterday I touched on the new embryo transfer guideline topic. The guidelines are published by ASRM. Here they are (PDF) if anyone would like to take a peek. There’s even a handy dandy table on page two.
The way I understood it from my RE, I could not go above the recommendations, but it doesn’t appear that that is the case, at least how I read it.
Strict limitations on the number of embryos transferred, as required by law in some countries, do not allow treatment plans to be individualized after careful consideration of each patient’s own unique circumstances. Accordingly, these guidelines may be modified according to individual clinic conditions, individual patient age, embryo quality, the opportunity for cryopreservation, and as clinical experience with newer techniques accumulates.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. I was all prepared to go on a rant about how having a blanket policy which neglects to consider individual situations is seriously shortsighted, but it looks like I don’t have to.
So, I guess it’s good they are publishing recommendations. I understand the rational behind it. Higher order multiples are serious business. And it’s even better that there is built in leeway for specific circumstances.
It’s probably fair warning, though, that you might have to fight to transfer more than the recommended amount. It appears that this is probably the case with my RE.
All I know is that if these recommendations were in place when we cycled before, and I wasn’t allowed to transfer more even given our history, then we might not have Adam. We transferred four blasts for his cycle. To think we might have been forced to pick the wrong three is unthinkable.
So, that’s the recommendation side of things. What do I personally feel comfortable transferring? For our very first cycle we transferred two blasts because we were afraid of getting pregnant with more than twins. It’s almost laughable now, but that’s an understandable place to start.
The thing is, though, that the further down the road you get, the more lenient you become about things like the risk of multiples. You just reach the point where you want a live baby, and you’ll do whatever it takes to get one. Did I even flinch when we transferred four during our last cycle? No way. I knew we weren’t going to end up with quads. I just hoped that one would stick around.
What about now that we have Adam? Well, like a lot of things, my feelings on this subject have changed some. Before Adam, the thought of twins was exciting. What infertile wouldn’t want the 2 for 1 deal after going through so much?
Now, however, I know how hard of a time my body had carrying a singleton, and I know that more than one would be a whole lot riskier for me. Does that change how many I’m willing to transfer now?
That is a hard question. It may be a totally moot point come tomorrow should we find out we only have one or two viable embryos left. Then again, maybe we’ll get lucky and have more to choose from.
I know I wouldn’t transfer four blasts now. Then it was the right decision. Now it wouldn’t be. I would have no hesitations transferring two. Three makes me think a lot harder now, but I think that if we have just three left tomorrow then we’ll probably transfer them all.
There’s just so much to consider when you decide how many to transfer. History is a big one for me, and we obviously have a long one. There are sub parts to our history that have to be factored in, too, like the fact that I was only on treatment for the MTHFR stuff during our last two cycles, and only the last one adequately in my opinion. So, does that mean we only look at those cycles when we try to make this type of decision? It’s not easy to figure out.
I’m hoping that the decision will be made for us tomorrow based on what has/has not made it to day 5, but we’ll just have to do the best we can if it hasn’t.
Change of Plans February 27, 2010
I’m back home sans embryos. We’re going to day 5 after all. I got to the office this morning only to find out that we actually have five embryos now. One ended up fertilizing late. I’m not exactly sure how that happened since we did ICSI. It not like the sperm were just swimming around waiting for the right moment, but I guess we’ll take it.
So, we have (grade 4 being highest):
1- 8 cell grade 4
2- 8 cell grade 4-
1- 7 cell grade 3+
1- 4 cell grade 4- (the late guy)
I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently there have been new guidelines put in place after the whole Octomom fiasco that limit the number of embryos you can transfer based on age. Since I’m under 35, the recommendation is to transfer two. You can only go one over the recommendation if you have a history of failed cycles, so the most we could have transferred today would have been three.
When we thought we were dealing with four embryos, we had planned to transfer anything that was still viable today. I know our blast rates, and I know that transferring three or four day 3 embryos is appropriate for us given our history. (Heck, we transferred four blasts during Adam’s cycle.)
Then we found out we actually have five. We were not going to transfer five, and we wouldn’t have been allowed to even if we wanted to.
Under the current guidelines we can transfer up to three blasts, so on we go to day 5 to see which three are going to end up being the best. That’s if we have three that make it to blast. I’m not counting on that, though.
I was so mentally prepared to transfer today, and now I’m just off. I am such a planner by nature. I guess you never really can plan anything during an IVF cycle, though.
Transfer is now set for Monday at 12:30. This poses more of a logistical problem for us than a Saturday morning transfer, but we’ll work it out one way or another.
There’s more that I want to say about the transfer guidelines, how many we personally feel comfortable transferring, if that number has changed now that we have Adam, etc. I think I’ll save that for another day, though. Today I’m just going to try to adjust my brain to transferring on Monday instead of today.
It Only Takes 43 February 26, 2010
Forty-three. That’s how many embryos we made to get Adam. We transferred twenty-one. Eighteen of those were blasts.
That’s why the number 4 makes me nervous. It’s a far cry from 43.
Yes, I know there are many, many people who found success with x number of embryos. And I know that I shouldn’t stress over numbers. See the thing is, though, that analyzing both my history and the stats of my current situation is how I deal with IVF.
I really think there are two types of IVF patients: the ones who want to know every single piece of information, who record every number along the way, and then the ones who who prefer not to get bogged down in the details, who find that the numbers make it harder. It’s not hard to guess which category I fall in.
Yes, I’m the girl who has a notebook and pen in hand any time there is an ultrasound machine within a ten foot radius. I’m the one who makes a spreadsheet so I can compare numbers between cycles. That is my way of taking what little control I can over this uncontrollable process.
Our fertilization report was actually a good reality check for me. I had, wait for it… actually started to get my hopes up. Oh, I’ve dealt with that bitch Hope way too many times, and she’s no good. Back to reality. I still want it. Really want it, but I’m trying to keep things in check now.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll walk into my RE’s office tomorrow and get a great day 3 report and have a smooth transfer. Those crossed fingers are going to get me to tomorrow, but there’s no doubt that I’ll keep on worrying about having 4, because I know just how far that number is from 43.
I Knew Things Were Going Too Smoothly February 25, 2010
As an IVF patient it doesn’t take long to learn that there is no such thing as the perfect IVF cycle. As an IVF vet, you know you’re not going to have one even if there was such a thing.
Yesterday I just had a feeling that things were going too well. Lining good, follicles good, E2 good, sperm good. That’s just not how we roll. Something had to give.
I got my fertilization report this morning:
11 eggs retrieved
7 mature
4 fertilized with ICSI
That’s the worst fert report we’ve ever gotten, both in terms of % mature eggs and % fertilization.
IVF #1: 12 retrieved, 12 mature, 11 fertilized
IVF #2: 11 retrieved, 11 mature, 10 fertilized
IVF #3: 7 retrieved, 5 mature, 4 fertilized
IVF #4: 30 retrieved, 22 mature, 18 fertilized
So yeah, not as good this time. I was really disappointed this morning. I was hoping to have twice as many embryos as that.
I’m trying hard to be ok with it, though. Yes, things could be a lot better, but they could also be a lot worse. Four gives us a chance. Obviously not as great of one as say the lovely 18 I had last cycle, but it’s still a chance. Heck, on my other not so great cycle where we only had four to work with I got pregnant. Then again, I ended up miscarrying, so maybe that’s not the best cycle to compare this one to.
We’re scheduled for transfer Saturday morning unless they all crap out in the dish. (Oh please don’t let that happen.) I’ll get hooked up with another lovely dose of anesthesia meds thanks to my wonky cervix, so hopefully the day won’t be all bad.
Poked and Prodded February 24, 2010
That’s how I always feel after ER, and rightly so, I guess. Poor ovaries.
This morning went well, though. It was a little odd, because while this was obviously not my first time at this, it was my first time without any hand holding. Adam was of course not invited to the party, so he and Dan did a few things in the surrounding area while I was in the office. It was ok being on my own, though.
Before I even got my IV, I got to talk to one of the lab workers. She said that they had already thawed our sperm and that it looked good. I told her I was nervous about the thaw, and she said that they were too given the situation, but that it looked like we should have enough for all of my eggs.
ER went fine. My preliminary egg report was “at least 10.” I’ll take that, for sure.
Now we wait for the fertilization report tomorrow. We’ve always had decent fert rates in the past, but I know not to get complacent when it comes to this stuff. So, we’ll just cross our fingers and hope for the best until we find out otherwise.
Until Tomorrow February 23, 2010
It turns out that Dan did not lose any of his great IM shot technique, because trigger went just fine last night. I’ve been giving myself my own subq’s, because it’s just easier for me to do them myself, but Dan stepped up to the plate for the big one last night. Today’s bloodwork was all fine, so we’re a go for retrieval tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the day that makes me the most nervous about this whole cycle. I’m not worried about retrieval. Been there, done that. Just looking forward to some yummy drugs and a little shut eye.
No, it’s the thaw that’s got my attention. We have one vial of Dan’s sperm left, and there’s no way to know if there’s going to be enough motile sperm after the thaw. They’ve had trouble finding them in the past, so there’s no reason to think the last vial is going to be any different. I really, really don’t want to have gone through this for nothing.
I don’t know if we’ll find out the state of things tomorrow or if we’ll have to wait until the fertilization report on Thursday. You can bet I’ll be asking, though.
Oh, isn’t the suspense of IVF so much fun?
Trigger Happy February 22, 2010
I guess my follicles must have gotten the memo that I was ready to be done, because they had a nice little growth spurt overnight. This morning I had nine over 15mm, with four of those leading the pack at 19mm, plus six smaller ones. Much better. E2 was 4082 and P4 was 1.6, so I’m definitely ready to trigger.
The only not so great news from this morning was that my lining has shrunk. The first time it was measured it came in at 8.3mm, a full 2mm down from yesterday. I had her remeasure it, and it was 8.7mm. My lining has a tendency to do this at the end of a cycle, and it’s still over 8mm, so we’re good. It just would have been nice for it to stay at 10.
So, I get to trigger tonight at 10:00. I’m glad it’s not late, because the damn Dex has had me totally awake since 3:30 this morning. It’s back to the office tomorrow morning for post trigger bloodwork, and then I’m first up at ER on Wednesday morning at 8:30.
This cycle has been pretty surreal so far. I mean, we still haven’t told anyone we’re doing it, although I guess Dan will probably have to mention it to someone at work since he’ll be out on Wednesday.
Let’s just hope we don’t get snatched back into reality this week. The really hard parts are still yet to come.
Not Yet February 21, 2010
I am not a patient person by nature. Today is stim day 9 which is right at the part of an IVF cycle where I start to get antsy. I triggered at this point my last fresh cycle, and I was really hoping the same would be said this time.
Not so much. Things are just moving a little more slowly this cycle. I had 16 follicles visible at this morning’s ultrasound. The largest were a trio of 16mm’s. E2 was 3153. P4 was 0.9.
So, I go back tomorrow morning for another looksee. I honestly don’t know if I’ll be ready to trigger tomorrow night. It will depend not only on how much those follicles decide to grow today, but whether or not my progesterone level stays low.
I know people love the “slow and steady,” but honestly it just irks me. I want growth! Things could obviously be much worse, though. My lining still looked lovely with it’s 10.3mm triple stripe. My follicles are grouped together well in terms of size, no one’s hogging the show or lagging too, too far behind. So, things are ok, and in IVF ok is really all you can ask for, right?
I guess I’ll just keep reminding myself of that despite my whining. I’ve gotten to the “get these darn eggs out of me” uncomfortable stage, and I’m tired. I haven’t been able to sleep past 5:00 since I started Dexamethasone, and the 2 hour jaunt over to my RE’s office thanks to the vastness that is Houston is getting old. But, I’ll keep on shooting up, keep on hopping back in my car at insane hours of the morning, and just keep on keeping on until my body decides it’s going to bless me with its readiness.
I Should Really Just Learn to Chill February 19, 2010
It turns out that all of my fretting yesterday was for naught. The worrier in me should take a note that that’s usually the case, but I guess I’ll never really learn.
Things went just fine this morning. I tried to time things so that we’d get there after the rush when monitoring begins but before my RE was off busy doing other things. It worked, because there was not one other patient there while Adam and I were there. It was a relief not to have dampened anyone’s day.
I was all prepared with a new activity book and a promise of a prize back in the car if Adam sat with me instead of running around the office like a crazy man. (He’s got an innate desire to explore!) It was pretty much unnecessary, though, because we were in and out quickly.
I did my shots when we got back to the car, and again, no big deal. Adam was busy playing with his prize, and the extent of his interaction at that point was asking what I was doing. When I told him that I needed to take some medicine he said, “Ooh, a skinny one” (I was holding the little Lupron syringe at that point) and then went back to checking out his new stuff. So, no problemo.
And as a bonus, things looked good today. My lining was 10.3mm, a complete and total record for me at this stage of the game. For someone who has struggled with lining issues, hearing “10″ is magical. I have 15 follicles in there, 10 of which were 10-14mm, 5 under 10mm. My right ovary is kicking my left one’s butt, but what ya gonna do. E2 came back at 2085.
I’m really happy with where I’m at. Things are looking pretty comparable to IVF #4, my other microdose Lupron cycle. The only real difference is that I have half the number of follicles this time. I’m ok with that, though. We don’t have enough sperm on ice to fertilize 30 eggs anyway, and I could really do without the super duper high E2 this time around.
I go back Sunday morning for another check. I’m really hoping that I get to trigger on Sunday night, but it may end up being Monday. If I trigger on Sunday then a 5 day transfer would fall on the following Sunday which would work so much better for us logistically speaking. Obviously I have no control over that, so we’ll just have to wait and see how things look.
So, the moral of the story for today is “just relax!” (I couldn’t resist. You know I don’t believe that crap one bit, don’t ya?)
Logistics February 18, 2010
There’s more than one thing about IVF that I don’t find difficult. Sticking a needle into my flesh? Easy peasy. There are others that I find harder like dealing with the ever fun med side effects. (Can we say Dexamethasone induced insomnia?) The thing I’m having the hardest time with this time, though, is logistics.
Yes, I’ve been though the ropes several times before, but the big difference was that then IVF was my full time job. I cycled for 22 months straight. I was constantly on meds, going to appointments, dealing with 2 week waits, for almost 2 years. But it was doable because I looked at myself as a professional IVF patient, it was my job. I know I said many times back then that I could never have done that if I had actually had a real job, or a real life for that matter.
So now I actually have non IVF responsibilities. I am oh so glad I do, but that’s what I’m finding challenging, trying to balance the two. Life goes on even with swollen ovaries.
On that note, tomorrow I have to do something I really, really wanted to avoid doing. I have to take Adam to my monitoring appointment. I have been getting up at 6:00 to hit the road by 6:30 so I can get to the office by 7:15. That way I’m first in line for 7:30 monitoring and can get back home by 8:30 so Dan can get to work semi on time. (He usually leaves at 8:00).
It’s been working ok despite my dislike of driving in Houston rush hour traffic. Tomorrow, though, Dan has a 7:00 deposition that he has to be at. We have no family in the state and have never had a need for a baby sitter before, so we don’t have one of those either. Either Adam goes with me or I don’t go.
I remember how much it hurt to sit in the waiting room waiting to be called back for an ultrasound to see if my body was cooperating at all that cycle only to have someone’s rugrat walk into the room. I really, really don’t want to do that to someone else. Ugh.
I’ll also end up having to do my shots in front of Adam tomorrow morning, something I’ve been able to avoid up to this point. I didn’t want him to see that for multiple reasons, but again, no choice. I don’t even know what to tell him. I don’t want him thinking I’m sick, and I don’t want to tell him that we’re trying to have a baby since we probably won’t.
So that’s what I’m struggling with, trying to make this process easier for Adam, trying not to make someone else’s experience worse than it has to be, and just dealing with the day to day that is IVF on top of the day to day that is my life.
My respect for women who go through IVF has increased if that’s possible. I was lucky that I got to focus solely on IVF for so long. It’s the only way I could have made it through seven cycles. Most people, though, do their shots and head off to work and/or take care of others while they really just want to be taken care of.
So, I’ll try to juggle just like everyone else. I just hope the next couple of weeks pass by without me dropping the ball.
I Forgot How Much IVF Sucks February 15, 2010
Apparently I had some serious amnesia about how hardcore IVF really is. I don’t know how someone who has been through four previous fresh cycles could possibly forget this fact, but I managed to block it out somehow. I am already getting my ass kicked hard by these damn meds, and I have a ways to go.
My hope for this cycle was to be somewhere in the middle of fresh cycle #3, my dismal cycle, and #4, my crazy high E2 cycle. I guess my body decided that was a good plan, because after two full days of stims my E2 was 255 this morning, pretty solidly in the middle of my 40 and 525 from those previous cycles. I get to stay on my 450IU/day of Gonal-F and go back Friday morning.
I had monitoring on stim day 5 during my previous cycles at this clinic, but I guess they’ve decided I don’t need it this time for whatever reason. In the past I would have worried about not getting an ultrasound before Friday, but honestly, at this point, I’m just glad I don’t have to make the drive in on Wednesday morning.
It’s pretty sad that I’m already at the point where I absolutely cannot wait for this to be over. The reality is that without IVF we don’t get any chance, so I am grateful for its existence. But when it comes right down to it, being smack dab in the middle of an IVF cycle just plain sucks.
All Quiet on the Ovarian Front February 11, 2010
I hit the road early this morning only to find myself facing pitch black skies, a downpour of rain, and packed highways, not exactly my ideal way to start an IVF cycle, but I’m sure I’ve had worse.
I passed baseline with flying colors: thin lining, cyst free ovaries, low E2. My body can do suppression. No problem there. It’s the other stuff I worry about.
I had 13 antral follicles visible this morning. It does seem that my body is aware that it’s been quite a while since I’ve done this IVF thing. My last fresh cycle I had 22 antrals.
I guess this is just a chance to remind the numbers girl inside me that numbers aren’t everything. IVF #3’s 15 antral follicles resulted in 7 eggs retrieved. IVF #4’s 22 antrals resulted in 30 eggs retrieved. So, we’ll just have to see what lucky #13 can bring us.
Shooting up fun begins tomorrow with microdose Lupron, followed swiftly on its heels by the addition of Gonal-F on Saturday. Back to the office on Monday morning for an E2 check.
The Bright Side February 8, 2010
So, I’ve decided that the one upside to permanent and irreversible infertility is never having to take birth control pills again. I popped my last one this morning, and I am D-O-N-E with those evil things.
I don’t get how people can handle them on a regular basis. Heck, I don’t know how I handled taking them for five years before we started trying to conceive. (Oh so funny in hindsight.)
Regardless, my pack of evilness has been banished from the bathroom, and I am so very glad. Baseline is on Thursday, and I’m definitely ready to get things going. This “do nothing” phase of IVF really irks me.
If everything looks ok on Thursday then I’ll start microdose Lupron on Friday and stims on Saturday. I know it’s not something people say every day, but I’m looking forward to the needles. At least that’s doing something.
To Tell or Not to Tell February 4, 2010
I’ve never really been tight lipped about our infertility. It’s not something I feel embarrassed or ashamed about, and I don’t mind talking about it. If someone asks me about it, I’ll gladly answer, and I’ve injected the topic into conversation more than once.
When we started IVF for the first time it wasn’t a secret by any stretch. All of our family members knew and lots of other people ended up in the loop as we progressed through cycle after cycle.
I even started another blog just for the sole purpose of keeping everyone updated on our cycles. I sure didn’t want to just send them the link to this blog, and it’s a heck of a lot easier to say “beta was negative” or “there was no heartbeat” through the computer. So, I was pretty much an open book for all seven of the cycles that led us to Adam.
What’s weird is that neither Dan nor I have told a single person that we’re cycling again. (You know, I mean other than the internets.) I’m closing in on the end of birth control pills, I’ve turned in our consents, paid our deposit, and the rest of my meds are being delivered tomorrow, but we haven’t said a word.
I keep wondering why that is. I guess one reason is because this is a one shot deal. If it doesn’t work then what’s the point of anyone knowing. And if for some reason it does, then it will be quite obvious that we did another cycle.
I don’t feel like I really need the emotional support that I did before. I know the drill, and I’m prepared as much as anyone can be for what may or may not happen.
But it feels weird keeping it a secret, because I don’t feel like it is. I guess it’s a secret by omission.
The more I think about it, I guess the reason I haven’t told is because I don’t want anyone getting their hopes up. What they don’t know can’t hurt them, right? I know my mother would be thrilled at the possibility of another grandchild, and I’d hate to have to let her down.
I may still spill the beans yet, but I’m not sure. Maybe this IVF cycle will just end up being our little secret mission.
My Calendar is Happy January 30, 2010
I knew what my cycle dates were going to be even before I got them, a perk of having done the same protocol at the same clinic before. Now they’re official, though, so it’s been nice to be able to put them in ink.
12/26-2/8 birth control pills
2/11 baseline
2/12 start microdose Lupron
2/13 start stims
week of 2/22 ER
I am officially one-third the way through BCPs which makes me happy. I have to go in for my teach visit next week, a fancy term for turning in my consents, getting my meds ordered, and forking over a deposit. And then, we’re off to the races.
I’m most definitely looking forward to moving on from the pill popping portion of this cycle to the needle injecting portion. I’ll take gonadotropins over the evil birth control pills any day.
BCPs With a Side of Guilt January 28, 2010
I opened the birth control pill package Monday morning and paused. Why was I hesitating? It wasn’t because I’ve changed my mind about cycling. I’m ready. I want to do this. So, what was that about?
That moment of hesitation was all about guilt. It came to me as I read my last post in bloglines. Every time I post about this IVF cycle it’s as if I’m justifying it to myself. I’m always careful to point out how different things are this time around now that we have Adam. I make it clear that we’re so thankful to have him, and anything else would be a bonus.
And that is so true, but the truth is that I know that. I don’t need to say it every time I post about this cycle. So, why do it? The truth is that part of me feels guilty cycling.
Why do I get another chance, even if it’s not a great one, when so many other people are still in the trenches struggling for #1? Survivor’s guilt has always been a tough thing for me to process, but this chance to cycle again is bringing it to the forefront.
I have friends who are still waiting. They’ve been through so much. It’s their turn, not mine.
I know it doesn’t really work that way. I know how unfair infertility is. We had our fair share of it trying to get our little man. But the unfairness can’t change what I feel should be.
I have to say, though, that I think just acknowledging the guilt helped. I’ve been swallowing my little white pill each morning, and instead of letting the guilt gnaw at me, all I can think about is how much I hate those evil fuckers.
Let’s Get This Party Started January 25, 2010
Guess what I get to do tomorrow morning? Start popping birth control pills. Oh, how I’ve missed those evil things.
So, yeah. We’re doing it. Again. It’s kind of hard to believe it’s been 4 years since my last fresh cycle. I’m assuming it’s like riding a bike, though, huh?
I’m definitely in a different mindset this time around. I’m not as nervous. I’m not as desperate. And surprisingly, I’m not as hopeless.
To expound: While we were in the pursuit for Adam, I was so desperate for each cycle to be “the one.” The thought of going though another cycle when you’re already on #5 or #6 is disheartening to say the least. I had to get to him, whatever it took, so there was soooo much riding on each and every cycle. It made me nervous. I worried. I stressed.
Now, though, we’ve arrived. He’s more than I ever imagined. I can’t be desperate when I’ve got him. I want this very much, but I’m not going to be broken into a million pieces if it doesn’t happen like I was each time one of our pre-Adam cycles failed.
So, what’s with the hope, you say? I’m not one known for hope. Hope is a bitch. I know that. I was beaten down so much and so hard, that I literally couldn’t hope during our last cycle. It hurt too badly. You fall further when you get your hopes up.
Now I have a cushion. It feels ok to hope at least a little. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still 100% realistic. I know our chances. I’ve lived them. I just want to let a little hope creep in this cycle. It is our last one unless by some miracle we get frozens. I’m not in that deep dark hole anymore, thankfully, so it’s ok to let a see a little light seep in.
I don’t know how this will turn out, although I could probably bet on the outcome and win. I do know, however, that it’s worth a try. So, let the games begin.
Unsticking Myself January 3, 2010
I’ve been feeling stuck lately. Part of that has to do with the holidays. I love Christmastime, but having multiple sets of guests coming through our house left me a bit lacking in energy to propel myself in forward motion. Also, the fact that we had decided to go ahead with another IVF cycle yet had not decided when that was going to actually happen left me feeling stuck in IVF limboland.
Well, I am stuck no more. The new year is upon us. It’s time to make myself move forward again. And we’ve made a decision about our cycle, too!
I’m always better with a plan. I love to be able to write in dates on my calendar. I love to be able to count down the days until X.
We’ve decided to start with my next cycle which should arrive towards the end of the month. I’ll start popping birth control pills on cycle day 2 and go from there. I’m doing the exact same protocol as my last fresh cycle, so I’m pretty sure I know which days things should fall on. ER should end up being the last week in February.
Things are coming along with all of the pre-cycle work. I got my lab results back, and everything was normal. FSH was still in the ok range at 6.5. Dan had his bloodwork done last week. The meds that needed to go through mail order have been ordered and should be delivered this week. I’ll go ahead and admit that I’m looking forward to getting them. There’s just something about seeing a big stash of IVF drugs to get you ready for a cycle.
So, I’m feeling good about having the ball in motion. I hate the feeling of not knowing how things are going to turn out, and I’d just assume find out sooner rather than later.
Let the Poking and Prodding Commence December 15, 2009
So, with the decision made to jump back into the IVF boat, the testing began again. I had my day 3 bloodwork done last Tuesday and my hysteroscopy done Wednesday afternoon. I had high hopes that the hysteroscopy would be less torturous than my previous ones. I had always been told that a vaginal delivery would whip my wonky cervix into shape.
Not so much. That scope was no match for my cervix. I still have that sharp 90 degree turn in there, and the scope just could not make it through. My RE tried four times, three with ultrasound guidance, something which is usually not necessary, but no luck. He ended up just doing a vaginal ultrasound to check out the old ute, and it looked fine from that standpoint.
The good news was that he also did a mock transfer with an embryo catheter, and it went in fine. The scar tissue in my cervix was broken up with Adam’s delivery, so the catheter went in much more easily than it ever had before. My RE said that it would probably end up being fine to do my ET this time around without IV sedation, but that he felt we should do it anyway to be on the safe side.
I only had 10 antral follicles, half what I had during my hysteroscopy appointment going into my last fresh cycle, but that was four years ago, so I guess it’s to be expected. Honestly, I’d be ok if I ended up with 10 mature eggs. My last fresh cycle I had 20 antral follicles and ended up with 30 eggs retrieved, 22 of those mature. Great except that as a result my E2 sky rocketed. And in all actuality, we probably don’t have enough motile sperm in that one vial to fertilize a ton of eggs anyway. (They had to use two vials to get enough for the 22 eggs that cycle.) So, let’s hope for the good old “quality over quantity” this time around.
Dan will get his bloodwork done next week, and then we just have to decide which month we want to cycle. I’ll start popping birth control pills on CD2 and then go in for a teach visit shortly thereafter to get my calender, turn in our consents, etc. (I’m pretty sure that even with the amount of time that has passed that I could shoot up in my sleep, so hopefully my nurse will spare me the actual “teaching.”)
I guess the only real decision left to make is when this is going to happen. January is bad for Dan at work, so it won’t be then. I’m hoping for February or March, but we’ll see.
So, back on the roller coaster we go for one more ride. Should be interesting.
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