Doctor Visit Day May 23, 2005
My kitty and I both had doctor’s appointments today. I had to take Dixie back to the vet to have her thyroid levels rechecked again since they came back borderline hypothyroid last time. She’s gained another 2 pounds for a total of 4 since her radioactive iodine treatment. She’s up to a whopping 11 pounds now. It’s a good thing, but I’m afraid that it means that she’s hypo. We should get her T4 results back tomorrow.
I had an appointment with my OB/GYN today. I scheduled it a couple of weeks ago assuming that our FET would end in another BFN and that our new RE would want new blood work. Obviously, both assumptions were correct. If I go through my OB/GYN the b/w is covered by insurance, so it made the hour and a half wait surrounded by preggos, most of whom were much younger than me, worth it.
My OB/GYN’s nurse is starting to hate me. As soon as she saw me she said “Oh, no. Not you again.” She knows that anytime I walk through the door that she’s going to have to fill out a crap load of blood work orders. I told her that it was most likely the last time I would bother her. I think she was relieved.
I had my Cystic Fibrosis and HIV 2 tests, two tests that my old RE didn’t require, done today, and I got orders for my day 3 FSH, LH, and E2 tests. I also managed to finagle orders for my husband’s communicable blood tests from my OB/GYN so he wouldn’t have to make a separate appointment with his doctor.
I have to say that I think I fared better with the blood draw than my kitty. Of course I have more practice, so it’s no surprise. It broke my heart to hear my poor kitty bellowing at the top of her lungs while they drew her blood. I think she’s already forgotten about it, though. She’s at least forgiven me, because she’s curled up in my lap at this very moment.
I’m feeling a little better about this upcoming cycle now that I’m actually doing something. Little things like getting blood tests done and filling my birth control pill prescription feel like sticking my toes back in the water. Sure the water is freaking cold, but hopefully by the time the real stuff comes along I’ll be a tad more acclimated.
Test Result Day April 13, 2005
I can’t believe it. I actually got some test results today. My husband’s karyotype came back normal. Yay! One less thing to worry about. Too bad it only took a month to find that out. At least I can stop obsessing over the what ifs now.
I also got Dixie’s thyroid test results today. Her T4 level had dropped from 8.8 pre radioactive iodine treatment to 0.4 which is on the very low end of normal. The normal T4 range is 0.4-5.2. So, the treatment definitely worked. There is, however, a possibility that it worked too well. If her T4 level drops any more she’ll be hypothyroid and have to be treated accordingly. There’s a possibility that some of the cells in her thyroid could still regenerate and bring that level up a bit, or at least keep it from decreasing more. We don’t have to do anything about it now other than keeping on eye on her to make sure she continues to do well. We have to bring her back to the vet in a couple of months to have her levels retested. We’ll definitely be keeping our fingers crossed that further treatment won’t be necessary.
It feels good to get results. Progress is good. So, now we’re just waiting on the two different endometrial biopsy results. The clock is definitely ticking on those results, so hopefully they’ll come back soon. Until then, I’m just going revel in the fact that we got some good news today.
Let’s Play the ‘Freak Out the Obsessive Worrier’ Game April 8, 2005
You know, cause it’s so much fun. I just called my OB/GYN’s office to see if my husband’s karyotyping results were back yet. No, they were not, I was told, but apparently they had received notification that the results were in the mail. While this news wouldn’t seem like it would qualify for the FOTOW Game, here’s the thing. My OB/GYN’s office was notified that my results were normal and that the paper results would be mailed subsequently. For my husband, however, they were just told that the results were on the way. Why did they not include the normal part?
Once again, I know that the likelihood of there actually being a problem is low, but knowing my odds that’s not very comforting. Why does shit like this always happen? So, now I have to wait until the middle of next week to call back and see what the hell’s going on.
On a different, less freaking the fuck out note, I brought Dixie to the vet this morning to have her thyroid levels retested so we can make sure the radioactive iodine treatment did the trick. We won’t find out the results until Monday, but we did get some fantastic news while there. Since her treatment less than 4 weeks ago, my old lady kitty has gained 2 whole pounds. That is beyond excellent news. She’s up to 9.1 lbs right now and doing pretty well. I think my vet was surprised to see her looking so good.
I will attempt to focus on other things including that great news as opposed to letting the unknown drive me insane. I think a diversion might be in order. Some retail therapy might just fit the bill. I think the Galleria is calling my name…
Back to the Regularly Scheduled Programming March 24, 2005
Pretty much. There are still a few kinks to work out, but things are coming along. Apparently there is a problem with the feed from my site being picked up by Bloglines, but we’re working on fixing that.
Anyway, Dixie is doing pretty well. She puked up her breakfast this morning, but other than that she’s doing ok. She does have an unusual side effect from her stay in kitty jail, though. When I got the call on Monday letting me know that she was set to come home, the vet tech let me know that she had something to warn me about. Of course my worrying mind went crazy with that one. She went on to tell me that Dixie was pink. What? Apparently the burgundy colored pillow that I bought for Dixie to have in her cage dyed her fur pink. It’s not as bad as I imagined, but she’s definitely got a nice pink hue to the fur on her belly and legs. Quite an interesting affect on a calico cat. She has to go back to get her thyroid levels retested in a couple of weeks to make sure the radioactive iodine did the trick, but other than that she just gets to hang out and let the radioactivity dissipate.
On a different note, MY BODY IS PISSING ME OFF! Oh, yes. I am beyond frustrated. I’m on CD28 and still have not had a positive OPK nor any other signs of ovulation. I don’t know what’s up. I might think that maybe my body is having a reeeeally long cycle after being forced to do three IVF cycles back to back except that I’m feeling premenstrual. I honestly don’t know if I’ve had an anovulatory cycle or what.
What’s frustrating me to no end is that apparently everyone with any decision making power at my RE’s office is on vacation right now. Why do they think it’s a good idea to leave no one in charge? I really wanted to talk to my IVF coordinator or RE about what to do with regards to this whole endo biopsy scheduling situation should my period show up soon. The thought of having wasted one cycle and then having to waste another one simply because I can’t get ahold of anyone is making me sick. The nurse who’s in the office this week has not been helpful in this situation. My RE will be back in the office on Tuesday, but I don’t know what the hell I will do if my period shows before then.
I’m really losing my patience with this waiting, waiting, and more waiting crap. I wish I could just cycle again. I know it’s important to do more testing, but I feel like I’m getting nowhere fast. I really hope things work out so I can get all of the testing done soon. If not I may just explode.
Edited to add: My brilliant husband has now fixed the Bloglines problem. Apparently Bloglines wasn’t picking up either of the two feeds that were published by my blog, so my hubby created another feed and then managed to trick Bloglines into thinking it was always reading that feed. Very complicated, but it works. So, you can subscribe to any of the three feeds and it should work. According to my handy dandy stat page, Bloglines hasn’t visited my blog since the fix has been put into place, but once it decides to grace my blog with it’s presence everything should be fine. You can also subscribe to the comments feed in order to read all posted comments. Pretty cool.
On the Move March 23, 2005
I’m definitely moving to a new place, and things are now in the works. It’s going to take a little time, though, because I’m baffled. I’m using WordPress for my new blog, and it’s definitely another step (or two or three) up from Blogger. Now I can fool around with a Blogger template as well as the next guy, but I feel like a kindergartner over at my new place. Thankfully my husband’s helping me out or I think I would just give up.
Dixie’s doing well. She apparently hasn’t read the “Patient Home Care Instruction” sheet I got from the vet, though. She keeps breaking the rules. She’s still a little radioactive, so we’re supposed to limit our contact with her for the next week or so. Only, she keeps doing things like jumping up in my lap and refusing to move. She’s such a sweetheart. I know she missed us tons, and it breaks my heart not be able to snuggle her for hours on end. I let her cheat a little bit, though. How can I possibly say no to that sweet kitty?
My body is pissing me off. I’m on CD26 and still no positive OPK. I think my period’s on the way, but who really knows. I called my RE’s office to speak to my IVF coordinator about the situation, but apparently she’s on vacation through the 1st. Crap. So, I had to leave a message with a nurse who is supposedly going to talk to my RE and call me back. So far no call, though. It looks like I may have missed the chance to do the sonohystogram and endo biopsies this month, and I am beyond frustrated. I asked about doing a mock cycle with Estrace and PIO next cycle so I wouldn’t have to deal with the stupid hunt for the LH surge thing again, but who knows if they’ll go for that. I really don’t want to have to waste another month. Have I said how much I hate waiting?
Hopefully I’ll have the new blog up and running soon, but who knows. It’s really not presentable right now, but I’m so over Blogger.
Waiting, Waiting, and More Waiting March 17, 2005
I’ve never claimed to be a patient person, but this waiting is driving me crazy. Sometime it feels like that’s all we’re doing right now.
I’ve almost lost count of all of the test results we’re waiting on. Karyotyping, SCSA, my repeat infectious disease testing, pap results. I guess that’s enough. I’m also waiting on my darn body to get a move on this cycle. I’m on CD21, and still haven’t had an LH surge. It seems like ovulation is nowhere in sight. I can’t schedule my sonohystogram and endo biopsies until I get that surge. My body is rebelling, and I understand. I’ve put the darn thing through hell, but it would still be nice if it would cooperate just a little bit.
We’re also waiting to see when my sweet kitty can be released. She’s doing well, but we’re ready to have her home. Yesterday her radiation level was at 1600, and today it was at 1000. She can’t come home until it’s dropped to 500. We’ve been given a 50/50 chance of having her home by this weekend.
I’m trying my best to go with the flow, but it’s hard when I can’t really do anything about all of this. I feel much better when I’m actively involved in whatever is going on. This too shall pass I guess. It better.
That Was Almost as Bad as the Wait for the Beta Phone Call March 15, 2005
Almost. Today was Dixie’s big treatment day. I brought her in this morning, got the rundown on everything from the doctor, handed over my sweet kitty and a nice size deposit, and then wandered through the building trying my best to make it to the parking lot while bawling my eyes out.
A lot of tests had to be done before the final decision to treat her with the radioactive iodine could be made. They had to make sure that she’s otherwise healthy, and they had to determine the extent of her hyperthyroidism. Those tests included a complete blood panel, urinalysis, chest films, and a thyroid scan. Dixie also had a little bump on her side that was questionable, so it was aspirated. I was told all of that would be done and then I would be called.
I waited and waited for that phone to ring. I was so scared that they were going to find something else wrong with her. She is 16 for goodness sakes. The phone finally rang at 3:30, and I got the report on the day’s results. Dixie’s bloodwork, chest films, and urinalysis all came back normal. The bump on her side was aspirated and was found to be a benign cyst. Her thyroid scan confirmed that she is indeed hyperthyroid, that she has the benign form of hyperthyroidism, and that both lobes of the thyroid gland are affected. She was given the standard dose of radioactive iodine and all appears to be going well. The doctor said she was awake and meowing loudly in her cage as we spoke. That’s my girl. She’s got a big mouth just like her mama.
I can’t even begin to explain how relieved I feel right now. I really hope this treatment is just what she needs to feel better. I’ll be able to call in every day to check and see how she’s doing. We’re keeping our fingers crossed that she’ll be home by Friday or Saturday, but it all depends on how her body processes the radioactive iodine. I can’t wait to have her home, though. I miss her so much.
My Cat the Vacuum Cleaner March 14, 2005
My youngest kitty, Salvador, started throwing up this afternoon. He puked, and then he puked again, and then he puked some more. I started getting worried. Two sick cats would just about do me in. Finally he puked up this:
I didn’t know what it was. It was a six inch long piece of something resembling a shoe lace. There’s just no telling what that cat got into. So, I went into our office to upload the picture to our desktop in order to include it in this post. While doing so, I found this:
It didn’t take me long to figure out that my darling kitty had chewed up one of the pull string things on the mini blinds in the office and then decided that it would be a good idea to eat part of it. He’s taken a liking to those things before, but we’ve always tied them up just out of reach. However, I recently raised the blinds in the office, because my girl kitties love to lie in the sun that comes in during the day. I forgot to tie up the stringy things higher, though. Apparently it didn’t take Salvador long to discover this oversight. Silly cat. See how mischievous he looks?
Anyway, he’s fine now thank goodness. Just another exciting day with my crazy kitty.
I’m Making Myself Ill March 12, 2005
Literally. Last month my oldest kitty, Dixie, was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. We decided to start her on a transdermal form of thyroid medicine applied once daily to the inside of the ear. This seemed like the best initial approach. She did not do well with the medicine, however. It made her head itchy, and as a result she scratched bald spots behind her ears, over her eyes, and under her chin. As if that wasn’t enough, she started vomiting a lot. Like 10-12 times a day. As soon as that started I called our vet, and we decided to take her off of the medicine.
The itching and vomiting stopped quickly, but without the medicine her hyperthyroidism wasn’t being treated. My husband and I have decided to have her go through the radioactive iodine treatment. We just can’t watch her waste away when there’s something out there that can treat her condition. It’s really expensive, but that’s ok.
The thing is that I’m having serious second thoughts about going through with it. I know it’s probably for the best, but I can’t stand the thought of her having to be away from home for a week. I’m making myself sick with worry. She’s just such a fragile old lady kitty. Just thinking about not being able to be there with her turns my stomach.
I want her to get better, but I don’t want to feel like this. I hate when my body fills up so much with worry and nervousness that there’s room for nothing else. I know I’m dramatic, but I just can’t help it.
She’s going in on Tuesday for the treatment. I went out today and bought her some things to make her stay a little easier. I stocked up on her food just in case she doesn’t like the kind at the vet’s. I bought her a new little stuffed mouse and a kitty sized pillow for her cage. She loves to lay on pillows, and I wanted her to be as comfy as possible while in kitty jail.
Next week is going to be really tough. I won’t be able to visit her since she’ll be radioactive. I really hope she will be able to handle the stress of being away from home for so long. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her. She’s been part of my life since I was 11, and I can’t imagine life without her.
Thank Goodness for Vicodin February 2, 2005
We got 11 eggs at retrieval this morning. I’ll get the call sometime tomorrow letting me know how many were mature and how many fertilized. I’m hoping to get enough to be able to go to blast again, but who really knows. I was in quite a bit of pain by the time I got home, so I popped a Vicodin and took a nap. I don’t know what I would do without pain meds.
I spoke to my vet this afternoon about the treatment options for Dixie. We decided to start with meds. I had been leaning toward the radioactive iodine treatment, but there’s one major problem with that. I want to get her started on treatment ASAP, but that would mean bringing a radioactive cat into my house during the 2ww. They keep them at the kitty hospital until they’re at a safe level, but they’re still emitting radiation when they come home. I’ve read some about it, and it’s not a good idea to do during pregnancy. I seriously doubt I’ll actually get pregnant this cycle. It’s not like I’ve got a stellar track record, but I can’t risk it. We’ve been through too much to get to this point. I did find out that the thyroid medication is available in a transdermal lotion that you can just apply to the ear. That’s what we’ve decided to try first, since Dixie cannot stand to take pills. If she doesn’t tolerate the meds then we can always do the radioactive iodine treatment at a later date. I think this is a good starting point, though, given her age and my 2ww situation.
The Results Are In February 1, 2005
I’m offically triggered. Not much else to report on the IVF front until tomorrow.
My kitty’s test results came back. Her thyroid level is high, but all the rest of her tests came back normal. So, it looks like we’re dealing with hyperthyroidism. There are three options for treatment: medication, surgery, or radioactive iodine therapy. Surgery’s out. Dixie’s just to frail for that, so we’re left with options one and three. If we go the meds route, she would have to take 1-3 pills a day for the rest of her life and would need frequent blood tests to monitor dosage levels and side effects. The radioactive iodine therapy involves a one time injection of radioactive iodine to destroy all affected thyroid tissue. It’s expensive, about $1500, but would be a one time thing. She would have to stay in the kitty hospital for about a week while the radiation levels fall to a safe limit. Unlike the meds, there are no serious side effects involved with this treatment.
I’m going to call and speak to my vet about the pros and cons of each option tomorrow after I get home from my ER. My normal vet is out of the office today, so I ended up speaking to another vet this morning. I want to make sure we decide on the best possible option for our kitty. I want to make what’s left of her time with us as comfortable as possible.
Where’s the Fast Forward Button? January 31, 2005
I had another ultrasound and bloodwork appointment this morning, and it looks like I’m all set to go. I had nine follicles measuring 15-23mm and four measuring 8-12mm, so I’m triggering tonight at 10:30 for a 10:30am retrieval on Wednesday. Based on my measurements on Friday I wasn’t expecting to trigger tonight, but it appears that my follicles liked the addition of the Repronex this cycle. My E2 came back at 2715, and I am very relieved. I did not want to deal with a E2 in the 4,000’s again. My lining appears to be stuck at 9mm, though. It measured 10 on Wednesday, 9 on Friday, and initially measured 8 today. I said, “Um, my lining seems to be going backwards,” so it was remeasured and came back at 9. It sure as hell better not be going backwards. I guess I’ll ask them to check again at ER.
One of my kitties is not doing well, so I took her to the vet today. She’s 16, so it was inevitable, but it’s still so hard. I’m not ready to lose her. Especially not right now. I cried through the whole vet appointment. I’m sure the fact that I’m beyond hormonal isn’t helping any. We’re waiting on some test results to see what we’re dealing with, but I don’t know if there’s much we’ll be able to do for her besides love her.
I’m not one to buy into the whole “stress will ruin your cycle” crap, but man has this been a stressful cycle. First I had to deal with the whole meds fiasco (parts I and II) and now I can’t stop worrying about my ailing kitty. I’m definitely ready for this sucker to be over with.
The Fun Never Ends January 7, 2005
After yesterday’s knee incident I thought I had experienced enough excitement for the time being. Guess not. Things got even more interesting.
Warning to Blog-oholics: Do not leave cinnamon toast in a new and unfamiliar toaster oven, even for a minute or two, while making a trip into the next room to refresh Bloglines so that you can check out the latest blog posts. This could happen:
Oh, yes. We live in an apartment, so the kitchen opens onto the living room, but nonetheless I couldn’t see the toaster oven from where the laptop is set up in the living room. I trotted on over back to the kitchen only to discover smoke pouring out of the toaster oven. The next few minutes consisted of a mad dash of turning off the toaster oven, removing burnt toast from said oven, opening the windows to let smoke out while letting cold air in, and standing on a chair in order to wave the nearest object (my husband’s jacket) at the smoke detector in an attempt to stop the loud shrieking noise it insisted on emitting. Oh, my. Crazy times.
This morning I woke up to a very sore knee. I expected as much, but it still wasn’t fun. I got up and saw my husband off to work, fed the kitties, and got back in bed. I had barely had time to close my eyes when I started to smell a very foul odor (and no, it wasn’t the leftover burnt smell still circulating the apartment). I sat up and noticed that my old lady kitty (she’s 16) had apparently made a trip to the litter box without completing the job. The stink was coming from my poor cat’s butt. Obviously having crap stuck to your butt would drive anyone crazy, so my cat was running around the bed like a mad woman. I tried valiantly to attend to the situation with a handful of kleenex, but she would have none of it. She much preferred to drag her ass all over the sheets, comforter, and down blanket I leave at the foot of the bed for the cats. There was cat crap everywhere, and it was not a pretty site.
I finally caught her in the living room, but by that point she had done a pretty good job of ridding herself of the problem. So, back to the bedroom I went to try to take care of the bedding situation. I cleaned up everything as well as I could, totally stripped the bed, and made a beeline for the laundry room. It’s pretty funny now, but I assure you, it was not funny at the time.
So, I’m all ready for boring. This is just too much.
Bad Mama December 17, 2004
I did my best to make sure my husband had a good birthday despite the circumstances of the week. I did numerous things to help celebrate his bday, one of which was to buy “Happy Birthday” balloons and display them around the apartment. Sounded like a good idea at the time. At the end of the day I popped all of the balloons and threw all of the pieces into the trash. At least I thought I did.
Last night it became obvious that someone had had some fun in the litter box. I had seen Salvador go into the kitty bathroom (yes, our cats have their own bathroom) and apparently he did not do the best burying job in the world as evidenced by the stench flowing down the hallway. I went to go attend to the situation when I noticed a bright orange poop in the litter box. What the hell? Upon further investigation, I discovered that there was a big piece of orange balloon along with a smaller piece of blue balloon in my cat’s poop.
Talk about a serious guilt trip. I felt like the worst kitty mama in the world. I guess I dropped a couple of pieces of balloon on the way to the trash and my crazy cat felt the need to eat them. I’m just glad they came out the other end. We do not need another thousand dollar vet bill right now.
While feeling like total crap for allowing this to happen I told my husband, “This is why we can’t have kids. I would end up killing them.” I don’t really believe that, but man, I felt like such a bad mom. Salvador has already forgiven me, though. What would I do without my furballs? Not only are they a source of constant entertainment, they are the best buddies.
I have learned my lesson. We’ve added balloons to the list of things that are not allowed in the apartment. I guess the fun never ends.
Yay! November 16, 2004
It’s a little after 6:00, and my husband is home. I honestly can’t remember the last time he was home this early. We actually get to eat dinner together tonight. Amazing. The arbitration for the case that he is working on was scheduled to go through Saturday. However, the other side petitioned the arbitration panel for more time, and they granted it. So, now they will not reconvene until January 3rd. It’s good in that he actually gets to stop working all hours of the day and night but bad in the sense that it’s not over. Now it’s dragged out into next year, but I don’t care right now cause my hubby’s home. (Although he’s currently in the bedroom playing on the PS2. At least we’re in the same zip code right now.) He’s still got to work a ton, but at least he’ll be home for dinner every now and then.
Salvador is continuing to get better. He’s eating and drinking completely on his own now, and his personality is starting to shine through again. He’s back to playing with milk rings, tormenting his sister, and helping with everything around the house. It’s frustrating that we don’t really know what was wrong with him. The more that I research online though, the more that I suspect we’re dealing with pancreatitis. It’s hard to diagnose, and there’s no real treatment or cure. I have read that feeding your pet a low fat diet can help prevent future episodes, so I think we’re going to have to try to find a low fat cat food that the furballs will tolerate.
So, things are looking up. Salvador’s getting better every day, and my husband’s big case is on hiatus. Now if we can just get this baby making thing figured out, I’ll be over the moon.
Tears of Relief November 12, 2004
My little furry guy is doing better. (knock on wood) He hasn’t thrown up since yesterday at noon, and he has started showing some interest in food and water. Last night when he ate half a treat and then later when he drank some water from a dripping bathtub faucet the tears began flowing. I really wasn’t sure if he was going to make it this time. Just seeing signs that he was improving was enough to get me bawling. This morning he ate a little canned food and drank some water out of a glass. (My cats have water bowls but much prefer drinking out of people glasses.) I can’t even begin to describe how relieved I feel right now. I know we still have a ways to go, though. It’s tough to get a cat eating and drinking regularly after they’ve gone so long without doing either. It’s frustrating to know that we really don’t know what was wrong with him and so don’t know how to prevent this from happening again, but my focus right now is on getting him all better.
On a different note, I think I need to set up some kind of timer or alarm or something for my Estrace. I’m having a tough time remembering to pop my pills. It’s a lot easier for me to remember having to stick myself with a needle, not that I’m wishing that Estrace came in injectable form.
So, things are looking up a bit. My kitty is doing better, and I’m feeling a little better physically now that my estrogen levels are on the rise. Now if my husband’s case would just settle, we’d be set.
Disillusioned November 11, 2004
I’m beginning to think that I should have gone to medical school. After seeing Gross Anatomy in middle school I was sure that I wanted to become a doctor. I think a couple of things stopped me from pursuing that: I’ve always been squeamish around blood and especially needles, and more importantly, what I’ve always really wanted to do was become a mom of the stay at home variety. It’s kind of ironic that I’ve had to get over the whole blood/needle phobia in my quest to become a mother.
Anyway, my point is that I would really prefer to not have to rely on doctors so much. When I first started up with my RE, I really liked her. Now not so much. Part of that stems from the whole no mock transfer/transfer from hell situation, but it goes beyond that. She’s failed to help me. The same can be said about our vet. I really like her as a person, but I’m starting to doubt how much I like the whole veterinarian practice there. They haven’t helped my little guy get better.
It’s like you have so much hope that these doctors, who are viewed as so intelligent and all-knowing, will help you, will fix you, and then they don’t. I know they’re just people, but somehow I’ve hoped that they would be more, that they’d be able to work miracles or something. I don’t know. I guess I just don’t have as much faith in all of it.
Salvador is home. I picked him up yesterday afternoon. He is very glad to be back here, but he is not doing any better. He’s still throwing up bile and refusing to eat. I called the vet again this morning to discuss our options. I really want to give him more time at home. It’s obvious that nothing they’ve done there has really helped him. I know he’s more comfortable here, and hopefully I can get him feeling better at home. I tried to think of what the vet had done last time that she hadn’t done this time. The only thing I could think of was giving him antibiotics, so I asked her about starting him on those. I also wanted to give him some subq fluids at home, so he won’t get dehydrated. So, I picked up the antibiotic and the supplies for giving him fluids from the vet’s office this morning. I guess that’s one benefit of having to shoot up daily for IVF. There’s no way I would have felt comfortable sticking my cat with a needle pre IVF. So, we’ll just wait and see how he does. I really hope he gets better soon. I don’t want to have to bring him back to the kitty hospital, but will if I have to.
When I went to pick up the supplies the vet asked if I was comfortable giving him the subq fluids at home. I replied that my husband and I both have experience with sticking me with needles. She of course asked why, and I explained that we were doing IVF. I don’t have a problem with people knowing that, especially people that I know won’t require frequent updates on the situation. And then I got it, the “relax and it will happen” story. She told me how her mom had dealt with infertility for a long time and then got pregnant immediately after signing the adoption papers. She went on to talk about how infertility can sometimes be psychological. Don’t worry, I set her straight. I went on to explain the physical cause of our infertility. She was very nice about the whole situation, but it just amazes me how many people are stuck on these ignorant, uninformed notions about infertility.
So, I guess as much as I try to avoid people and the world at times, dealing with people lately has made it very apparent to me that my viewpoint has shifted a lot. Infertility and the medical treatment that comes with that has changed how I look at a lot of things, doctors included.
Good News and Bad News November 10, 2004
The good news is that my baseline ultrasound went well. My lining was thin, and I had no cysts, so I’ve started Estrace. I go back again in two weeks for a lining check.
The bad news is that my kitty isn’t any better. I called the vet after my appointment this morning and found out the latest. They really don’t know what is wrong with him. He vomited a little overnight, and he’s still won’t eat anything. They had to splint his leg because he was fighting with the IV. I know he’s just so unhappy there. The plan is for me to call the vet back at 4:00 and if Salvador has not taken a turn for the worst then I get to go pick him up. Now that he’s hydrated he might do better at home. So, I’m going to try to get him eating again here, but if he doesn’t show any improvement then I’ll have to bring him back to the vet. They’re going to leave his IV catheter in so that if I have to bring him back they won’t have to redo it. (He’s not fond of the catheter so they have to sedate him every time they put one in.) We’re also going to start him on Cyproheptadine which is an antihistamine that stimulates appetite in some cats. We gave him that when he was so sick last time, and it seemed to help.
I really hope he starts feeling better soon. I’m so worried that he hasn’t shown any signs of improvement yet. My poor kitty cat. Hopefully tomorrow’s post will be entitled “Good news and More Good News.” We’ll see.
Nearing the End of My Rope November 9, 2004
I spoke to the vet this morning about Salvador. After looking at his xrays last night it appears that he was very constipated. They gave him an enema and hooked him up to an IV. They also gave him a stool softener this morning. His bloodwork came back normal except that his liver enzymes were slightly elevated. He threw up again a little overnight, but the vomiting has decreased in frequency. He’s still refusing to eat, so that’s not good.
I went and visited him around lunch time. He was not a happy camper in the least. He hates being in a cage, and the IV was driving him crazy. I feel so badly for him, and it killed me to have to leave there without him once again. There’s no real way to know if the constipation is solely responsible for his current state, so the plan is to keep him on the IV today and overnight tonight and see how he’s doing in the morning.
I have my baseline ultrasound tomorrow morning, and you know what? I couldn’t care less. I’m so not into this cycle. I told my husband last night after I picked him up from work in the middle of the night (oh, the joys of not being able to buy a second car thanks to IVF) that I was almost done. I know it’s not the only thing that’s stressing me out right now, but this IVF crap is just wearing me out. My husband asked if I wanted to quit now and not do the FET. My response was that I do want to go ahead and finish this FET but that I really don’t know about anything past that. So, who knows what will happen if this FET fails. I just feel like I’m nearing the end of my rope.
I just keep telling myself that if I can just make it through this week that things will be ok. If I can make it through the next two weeks, things should be a lot better. I’m so looking forward to the end of my husband’s arbitration, and I’m also looking forward to making it through the rest of this damn FET. I’m also hoping that my sweet little furbaby will be home in a few days. I’ll feel a lot better if I can just get him home.
It’s really tough that all of this is happening at the same time. I really don’t feel well equipped to handle it right now. I just hope I don’t run out of rope before all of this is resolved.
I Can’t Stop Crying November 8, 2004
Salvador isn’t doing any better. He threw up bright yellow goop at 2:30, again at 3:45, and once again at 4:30. Shortly after 4:30 I called the vet. We discussed all of the options and decided that since apparently none of the medicines that he was given this morning were helping the best thing to do would be to admit Salvador to the kitty hospital. I was in tears before I even put him in the car to drive him back to the vet. By the time I was back in the car driving home without him I was bawling. Now my Lupron headache is magnified many times over.
The plan was to take an xray to make sure there’s no foreign objects in there, do some bloodwork, and start him on an IV. I got a call from the vet a little while after I had gotten back home. Salvador was putting up a fuss for the xray and the vet knew it would continue for the insertion of the IV, so I was asked permission for them to sedate him for these two procedures. This is no surprise. He had to be sedated when he got his IV the last time around, too. So, they’re going to do all of that, and the vet will call me back tomorrow morning to let me know the results of the xray and bloodwork and to update me on how he did overnight.
It breaks my heart in little pieces to have to leave him there. I know that he’s not going to get better just sitting around here, but I miss him so much. It makes me sad to think how alone and scared he must feel. I just hope they can find a way to make him feel better. I can’t lose him. I just can’t.
I talked to my husband after I got home from dropping Salvador off. I made a comment about how they better not charge me another $50 office visit fee since I had already paid that once today and another comment about how this will probably end up costing at least $1,000. My husband replied that it did not matter what they charged us as long as Salvador gets better. I love that man so much. We both worry about money in a lot of areas. It’s pretty natural given the amount of money we’ve forked out for all this IVF crap, but this is one area where money is not an issue. We just want our kitty home and healthy.
Oh, and I don’t know if it’s stress or what, but my period which was long gone decided to make a reappearance. I went to the bathroom after I got back from dropping off Salvador and bam, there it was again. Of course I was wearing some pretty, non-period underwear. Oh, the fun never ends around here.
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