Cleaning Lady May 26, 2004
Boy, my apartment is clean. I’ve spent the past 3 days cleaning it from top to bottom. What’s the occasion? My in-laws are coming to visit. It’s not that my apartment was disgusting or anything, but I feel like it has to be spotless when we have visitors. My husband’s mom, dad, and younger brother are coming in from California to spend a week in Houston. We haven’t seen them since Thanksgiving, so it should be good to catch up with them. There’s still a remote possibility that they may be staying with us for part of their visit since they have yet to reserve a hotel room (they’re not planners like us- far from it.) I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they find somewhere to stay. It’s not like we don’t get along, but I like having my safe haven all to myself (plus my hubby and furbabies, of course.)
Car update: The car is in the shop, and I actually have a rental car. I think they were prepared for me after yesterday’s snafu. I got helped by the manager and got a free upgrade. The estimate to complete the work is 7 days, but I know it will be longer.
Surgery update: My husband got to speak to his Dr. today about the procedure for freezing his sperm. They will retrieve sperm in order to be frozen in case the surgery is not successful, and we have to do IVF. The Dr. told him the lady that schedules the surgeries has all the contact info. Great. Still no luck getting any answers from her. It’s so frustrating.
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back May 25, 2004
We’re making some (but not much) progress on both of the important fronts in our world right now: my husband’s next surgery and our wrecked car. I’ve been calling the lady that does the scheduling for my hubby’s Dr. since last Tuesday. I’ve been getting no where, so I delegated the task to my husband. He called yesterday with no luck, but finally spoke to her this morning. She’s supposed to talk to his Dr. and call him back this afternoon (the same thing she told me last week.) Well, she hasn’t called yet.
My Dad decided to go through the insurance to get our car fixed since the rise in his rates will be less than the estimate to fix the car. I finally heard from the insurance company this morning. They gave me a claim number and the # to call to talk to someone in-state. I called them and was told to call the body shop and the rental car company. No problem with the body shop. They already had the insurance info and everything. On to the rental car co. I called them and was told that they were helping someone else and would call me back. Three hours later and no call, so I called back. Apparently, the guy that answered this time didn’t have much of a brain. After giving him all my info (slowly and repeatedly) I was told that I had an invalid claim # and would have to call back later. I told him that I wasn’t going to call back and that I wanted to talk to someone else that could actually help me. I was put on hold. Eventually the manager came on the line and told me that he had already spoken to the insurance co. and the claim # didn’t start with the right letters and numbers. I gave him the info from the person I had talked to earlier, and he said he would call me back. He did, and I learned the problem. Apparently, their brains go to mush when dealing with out of state claim numbers (even when the out of state thing had been previously mentioned.) I supposedly have a car waiting for me tomorrow, but I’m not holding my breath.
All Clear May 20, 2004
I’m back from my HSG, and I have survived. It was pretty much as I expected. It hurt a lot but only lasted about 10 minutes. I can’t imagine how bad it would have been if I hadn’t taken the vicodin. In the end, everything looked good. There was a med student observing, and after it was finished the Dr. said to the student, “That was a textbook normal hysterosalpingogram.” My tubes are open, and there are no adhesions or anything. It was worth those few minutes of pain to know that everything is ok inside there.
Tonight I’m going with my husband to a firm social event. Every summer law students come to law firms for clerkships. That is how you ultimately get a job offer. The firm really wines and dines the summer associates. It’s really one long recruiting event. Well tonight the younger associates in my husband’s section are taking their summer associates to Smith & Wollensky for dinner. It should be nice to have a good dinner out (besides having to be all social,) but I don’t think I’ll be able to enjoy a much deserved cocktail thanks to the vicodin.
Nervous Nellie
My appointment for my HSG is this afternoon. I am extremely nervous about the thought of going through this. When I first saw the OBGYN that specializes in infertility back in March she ordered blood tests but said that the HSG would probably not be paid for by my insurance since the cause of our infertility had already been determined as male factor. She said that it would be covered if my blood tests came back abnormal. Well, my blood test came back completely normal, and yet I got a letter from my insurance company approving the HSG. I figured I’d go ahead with the test for the peace of mind. Plus not having to pay anything for a $700 test is also nice.
My husband won’t be accompanying me to my appointment. He offered several times, but I felt that he should stay at work. He would have to drive the 30 minutes it takes to get there from downtown each way plus the hour for the appointment. Since he had to leave work early on Tuesday for his Drs. appointment, I thought it would be best for him not to miss another 2 hours today. Plus, with any luck, his surgery will be scheduled soon, and he’ll have to miss another week for that. I’m just glad that there’s some leftover vicodin in the house. That should make getting through the test bearable.
One Step Closer May 19, 2004
We’re a little closer to knowing what’s going on both the surgery and car fronts, but not much. My hubby had his appointment with the general surgeon yesterday. It was pretty much a waste of time. He explained how he would assist my husband’s urologist by performing the laparoscopic portion of the surgery, which we already knew. I guess I should just view it as one more step down in the long list of steps to achieving our ultimate goal. I called the lady that schedules the urologist’s surgeries after the appointment, but she wasn’t able to do anything until she got my husband’s chart back from the other Dr. She’s supposed to call back today, but no luck so far.
After the appointment we took our car to the body shop to get an estimate on the damage. $1800. I called my dad to relay the info, and he just wants to cut us a check for that amount. Then we can either use the $ to get the car fixed or to buy a new one. I suggested he at least run it by the insurance company to see what would happen to his rates if he claimed the accident. He should be getting back to me today or tomorrow.
I have a feeling we’re going to end up buying a new car. I don’t know what to do about the $1800 though. It’s weird being in a better financial position than my parents. Sure we have a butt load of students loans from my hubby’s 3 years of law school, but my hubby makes more money than both my parents combined. The real difference is that we manage our money better. I tend to be majorly frugal, and as a result we do ok financially. It’s not like we couldn’t use the money. If we have to do IVF, that’s going to set us back more than the cost of the car we’re looking at buying. I just feel badly taking money from my parents. I guess we’ll figure something out.
Anticipation May 18, 2004
Today should be an interesting day. This afternoon my husband has his appointment with the general surgeon that will be assisting in his second surgery. I’m not sure what the appointment will entail exactly, but I hope that we’ll be able to schedule the surgery soon after.
Then we get to go to the body shop to get an estimate on our car. I’m afraid of what they’re going to tell us. My husband suggested just keeping it as a second car as is and getting a new car for the majority of our driving needs. This is a possibility, but it still hurts me to think of shelling out all of that money. I liked having a safety net in case IVF is in our near future. I guess everything will work out one way or another.
May 11, 2004
We are one step closer to my husband’s next surgery. His Dr. called him this morning to let him know that he had selected a general surgeon to perform the laparoscopic part of the surgery. That Dr. wants to see my husband before the surgery, so my hubby has an appointment with him next Tuesday. Only after that appointment will they schedule the surgery.
I have to remind myself to just keep taking all of this one step at a time. It gets so frustrating otherwise. There’s always one more appointment or one more test, etc. before the next major hurdle. That means more waiting. As I’ve said before, waiting is the hardest part.
May 5, 2004
The appointment went well. The Dr. said my husband will probably have the reconstructive surgery sometime in the next month. He has to coordinate with the general surgeon who will do the laparoscopic part of the surgery. The surgery will be scheduled for whenever that surgeon, my husband’s Dr., and the operating room are all available at the same time. That’s good news. I was afraid we were going to have to wait a few months. So now we just have to wait for the call telling us when they want to schedule the procedure. It’s nice to have a plan.
May 4, 2004
Tomorrow is my husband’s follow up appointment. The Dr. will let us know how soon we can proceed with the reconstructive surgery. I’m really not sure how long we’ll have to wait, but I think we’d both rather have it done sooner than later. I’m also curious to see what he’s going to say about the recovery time involved. I know it will be longer than the first surgery, but I hope it’s not too much worse. The waiting is so hard. It does help to have a plan now, but there’s still so much time just to dwell on everything. I am thankful that the first surgery was successful and that it did not lead to too dreadful a recovery for my hubby. Here’s to hoping for promising news tomorrow.
April 27, 2004
WE HAVE SPERM! The surgery went well, and the patient is sleeping thanks to our friend, Mr. Vicodin. We have a follow up appointment next Wednesday to discuss the scheduling of reconstructive surgery. We’re not sure how long we’ll have to wait for the next surgery, but I’m sure my hubby won’t even want to think about that until he has long recovered from this one. I’m just glad we might have a chance to have children without utilizing IVF.
I’m so glad to have such a wonderful husband. I know there are a lot of men out there that would not have been willing to go through what my hubby has. I really hope his recovery is quick. I’m sure this present that I got him will help him feel better once he’s conscious.
Today is my husband’s surgery, and I am up before the alarm is set to go off. I’ve been laying in bed but thought I might do something semi-productive with the time. This is not unusual for me. I have a thing about waking up early on days when something important is going on: Christmas morning, the morning of the first day of a great vacation, and oh yes, the morning of major medical procedures. I normally love to sleep in but cannot today. I’m nervous. Who wouldn’t be? My poor hubby has to have surgery on a very delicate area of his body. I hope he’s not in too much pain afterwards. I’m also nervous about what the Dr. will discover. Will our next step be reconstructive surgery or IVF?
On a more positive note, we got back from our trip to San Antonio yesterday. We weren’t too impressed with the city itself but had fun nonetheless. It rained quite a bit Sunday, but yesterday was gorgeous. We went up to the observation deck of the Tower of the Americas, and the view was awesome. It wasn’t very busy on a Monday morning, so we got to enjoy the view without pushing by other tourists. All in all, it was just nice to get away and not worry about the whole surgery thing for a couple of days.
Well, there goes the alarm. I’m off to get ready.
April 23, 2004
What do you what to be when you grow up? I think I’ve pretty much always known – a mom. Sure, I think I could have done a number of things, but I know in my heart I was meant to be a mom. I want to have a family with my amazing husband. Well, as things turn out, you can’t always get what you want and certainly not when you want it. As promised in an earlier post, I’m going to talk about the whole infertility thing. A little background:
- My husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant half way through his 2nd year of law school. After 3 1/2 years of marriage and a total of 6 1/2 years together, we were finally ready to be parents.
-During my annual Drs. appt, and after 9 months of trying, we discussed whether of not I should have some fertility testing done. I decided to wait since our insurance didn’t cover it.
-Fast forward another 6 months or so of trying, many months of not so subtle hints from family about when we we’re gonna have kids, and more month after month disappointment. I went back to my Dr. during a very long cycle. My cycle is pretty regular, never longer than 30 days. I went to the Dr. on cycle day 40- no period, no positive pregnancy test. This time when I my Dr. about testing, she said it was my choice but that she thought stress could be a factor in our lack of success. She said that she saw lots of couples get pregnant after they finally left the stress-filled environment of grad school. Looking back on this, I now know how much a load of crap this was.
-After graduation and a long summer of studying for and taking the Bar, my husband started his job at a law firm in Houston. We finally had insurance that would cover infertility testing. After a couple of months fighting the HMO for our insurance cards, we both made appointments. My husband got in to see his GP pretty quickly, but I had a 3 month wait to see my OBGYN.
-My husband’s GP sent him for a semen analysis. After a couple of weeks of waiting for results, a few phone calls, we finally found out what was keeping us from getting pregnant. I remember that day so well. My husband called me from work and let me know that his test came back showing 0 sperm in the sample – that’s right zero. I remember saying to him “Is that even possible?” I had never heard of that. I spent the rest of the day and subsequent days doing some massive research on the internet (what would we do without the net?) I found that his diagnosis was Azoospermia, total of absence of sperm from the semen. We were totally blown out of the water with this one, but at least we now knew what was wrong.
-We decided our next step would be to request another test. We just needed confirmation. My husband went back for another semen analysis on New Year’s Eve day. A couple of weeks later we found out that the second test confirmed the results of the first. Our next step- get an appointment with a urologist. After some more research, I learned that one of the urologists in our plan specialized in male infertility and microsurgery. There was a 3 month wait to see him, so on to wait some more. That’s the hardest part of all of this- the waiting.
-During the wait, I went to see my OBGYN for a check up and to ask about testing. She told me that since my husband had a diagnosis, there was no need to test me and that the insurance wouldn’t pay for it anyway. What is it with all these misinformed Drs?
-We finally got to see the specialist at the beginning of March. He was great! I had done my research before going to see him, and everything he said was right on. Apparently this isn’t always the case. I’ve read online about people with the same diagnosis going to Drs. who told them they would never have biological children. This is far from the truth. Anyway, the Dr. did a physical exam, asked lots of questions, and ordered some blood tests and two more advanced semen analyses for my husband. When he asked about me, I told him about my recent appointment with my OBGYN. He let me know that what I was told was absolutely wrong and gave me the name of a Dr. who specialized in female infertility.
-We got my husbands test results back a few weeks later. The semen analyses confirmed the initial diagnosis. The blood tests came back completely normal. This is important because it means that my husband doesn’t have testicular failure. See, there are 2 types of azoospermia, obstructive and non-obstructive. As the name implies, obstructive is when there is a blockage that prevents the sperm from “getting out.” Non-obstructive is when there is something wrong, usually hormonally, that prevents sperm from being made. We always suspected my husband’s was obstructive because he had hernia repair surgery when he was 2. Apparently either Dr. error or scar tissue can lead to obstructive azoospermia.
-In the meantime I saw the Dr. who the urologist recommended. She ordered blood tests that test fertility. They’ve all come back normal, and we are thankful.
-We went back to the urologist on April 14th. He reviewed the test results and decided the next step would be a biopsy to make sure there are sperm being produced. This is an outpatient procedure performed under general anesthesia. At that time he will also do an internal ultrasound to check for a blockage. I have to admit, that during this appointment I was very nervous and pumped full of new knowledge in this area. I kept asking the Dr. ton of questions. I even brought up the ultrasound before he suggested it. I know I was probably annoying the crap out of him, but he did say that I was asking board-level questions. I think I impressed him with how much I knew about the subject. Well, since this is the most important thing in the world to me right now, I try to learn as much as I can about it. I don’t have a job in the outside world, but let me assure you, this has become a full-time job for me.
-My husband’s surgery is scheduled for this Tuesday, the 27th. I know we’re both really nervous about it, but it will give us some really important information. It will let us know whether the Dr. will be able to attempt a complicated reconstructive surgery to fix the situation or whether our next step will be IVF. We’re hoping for reconstructive surgery for a few reasons: it will most likely be covered be insurance (IVF won’t be) and if it’s successful, that will be the end of things. With IVF, we’ll have to have multiple procedures to have more than one child. Plus, unlike many people believe, IVF isn’t a sure shot. Some people aren’t successful at all with it, and many people take multiple times for it to produce a viable pregnancy. Plus, there’s the whole money thing. $15-20,000 a pop is a lot of money.
-Even though it breaks our hearts to have to go through all of this, we are fortunate to be living in a time when all this is possible. Just 10 years ago, we probably wouldn’t have been able to have biological children. Now they have a procedure used on azoospermatic men where they can aspirate sperm from the testicle or epididymus and inject individual sperm (through ICSI) into the eggs retrieved through IVF. That’s pretty amazing if you think about it. Hopefully, we won’t need to utilize this awesome technology, but it is a distinct possibility.
-This has been a very hard almost 2 1/2 years for us, especially me. Infertility is so hard emotionally. You see all these people who get pregnant without even thinking about it while you’re wanting the same thing for yourself so badly. Don’t even get me started on the people who don’t deserve to be parents that have kids. As we all know, life isn’t fair.
-On a more positive note, my marriage couldn’t be stronger. Infertility can do one of two things to a marriage: complety rip it apart or make it so much stronger. I always knew I was fortunate to have a wonderful marriage, but going through all of this has just made our relationship that much closer. I couldn’t have gone through all of this with anyone else. I know that no matter what happens in our crazy journey through the world of infertilty, I will always have the most wonderful husband in the world by my side.
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